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Shanshan, But now I am making the change for the better for my kids and myself. List down for us the next actions that'll make things better for you and your kids. What are your next steps in the next month, six months and for the rest of 2010. Where do you see yourself in two years? Having a clear goal helps us achieve it. Having a goal helps you through times when you feel needy, self pity and drawn back to the old relationship, and focus on the 'i deserve better' part. And the goal is not getting a man! Remember, the goal is in your own quote above...
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 11
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OP
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Sweetie, I'm not scared anymore. I feel more empowered than ever since I started the divorce process. My kids and I are staying at my mom's house (since he won't leave) and since my daughter found a porn movie in her DVD player (we came back to get more clothes). What kind of man would even do that in his daughter's room? My attorney is aware. They tried to serve him the paper's today, but of course he's trying to avoid them at all cost.
I feel find about myself. I feel as if for once in my life that I'm standing up for myself.
For the one who asks "who makes babies with a man who tries to kill her". Well, I did. Not that I'm proud of my choice, but I do have 2 wonderful children that I will never regret.
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Joined: Oct 2000
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For the one who asks "who makes babies with a man who tries to kill her". Well, I did. Not that I'm proud of my choice, but I do have 2 wonderful children that I will never regret.
I asked, because all too frequently the woman who makes babies with a violent man is also the woman who fails to protect those "babies" from his violence.
Be the woman who DOES protect her children.
It sounds like you are ready to step up to the plate, and be their shield.
Good for you.
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Next actions that'll make things better for myself and my kids:
1) Finish divorce process
2) Protect kids from their dad at all cost
3) Keep myself healthy (body and mind)
4) Make sure my kids are healthy (body and mind)
5) Join self defense classes (offered free at my job)
6) Keep my finances in order
7) Do more with my family (kids, mom, sister, aunts, etc.)
8) No wallowing in sorrow and regret, STAY POSITIVE
9) Do things that I like to do (trout fishing, reading, planting my garden).
These are just a few things that come to mind at the moment.
In two years? I'm not sure where I see myself, but I do know that I'll be in a better place in my life than where I am now.
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Joined: Mar 2005
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In two years? I'm not sure where I see myself, but I do know that I'll be in a better place in my life than where I am now. Good! A goal doesn't have to be all encompassing. It can be a small step up in your career. Or a well-deserved holiday somewhere exotic with your kids. A new car. A place to call your own... as long as it's something you can work towards to, to achieve something... to know you can make life better for yourself and your kids without him.
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Joined: Oct 2009
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I Love 1-9~
10) Continue to be involved on this board.
--you'll get a lot of guidance along the way, and you'll need it (we all do). There will be curve balls and times of stress. This site can help you maintain focus on the above goals and what really matters.
Are you spiritual at all Shan? If you're not, may I suggest you consider it? If you are, may I suggest you consider developing your faith?
Keep it up, Shan; your kids are counting on you.
~opt
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Thanks to all of you for your encourgement. I will continue to visit this board. You all have helped so much already.
I am spirtual. I was raised in a very spirtual home. I am planning on finding a church home for myself and my children. I know I would've never made it this far without my faith.
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Joined: Oct 2009
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Thanks to all of you for your encourgement. I will continue to visit this board. You all have helped so much already.
I am spirtual. I was raised in a very spirtual home. I am planning on finding a church home for myself and my children. I know I would've never made it this far without my faith. Right on!
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
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