MyMissy

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1026895&fpart=1


Reverse Babble

Nesre

Well the latest email that I have received was almost business like. To inform me that he had finally received the rough draft of the "paperwork" and had sent it back for some corrections and I should have a final draft soon. His email then asked me if the dogs needed anything as he would be running that errand this weekend.
WOW is all I can say, I keep trying to give myself a reality check and I am certain this is not the reality I signed up for.
I have not spoken, emailed, texted him in a week, he has been out of town and I left before he returned today to spend the weekend at my mothers again. All communication has been through his mother.
I feel as though his mother is sympathetic to me and the horrible situation, she really provides no support.
I am scared, I feel alone, I have my family and friends, but that is just support from the outside. The person that always provided the support from inside the home is now gone.
I still cant believe that he is throwing away 12 years of marriage for a relationship that was based on 2-3 months of email, facebook, texts, and only a handful of actual meetings.
He is definitely an alien. However that changes nothing, and I am still scared and still alone.
I continue to pack up the house and place the boxes in a storage unit for now.
Very sad....

MM

i'M SORRY-i HAVE READ A LOT OF THREADS THIS WEEK AND cant remember why you are leaving the house.


Could you refresh me?

Nesre

He built the house with his first wife, it sits on family land, and I am going to let him buy me out or sell it if he cant buy.
I have been packing all of the stuff that came with me 12 years ago, its a lot. I also have a business based in the home and cleaning that stuff out has taken some time.
I was also hoping that empty walls and cupboards and bookshelves would jolt something in him...I know - I am reaching on that one.
The house is also not something I would want to keep, to much yard, to much house. If we are splitting up. I would prefer to move into town, into something smaller.

((((mymissy))))
I am trying to reach thru the computer screen and give you a comforting hug Hope you feel it. Sorry you are feeling so low, It will get better.

I feel as though I will never be able to blindly trust anyone or anything again, including my own intuitions.
But, thank you for the hug.

MM

I don't know if you realize it but I have been on both sides of the fence-WW & BS

If I really wanted to fight for my M I would drag this out legally any way I could just because my feelings are so strong about A's in MR.

You have a start on PLB but info needs to be shut off completly unless they can help you or fight 4 you. Also to PROTECT yourself from his BABBling WW mindset.

Is the house paid for?
If it is and you don't have the funds let H pay for it. Would he let it go to default?? Or drag it out with him not living there.

Remember your still his legal W. You don't have to agree with any of this tripe he is throwing out to you.

Who gives a rats petuty who built the house OR IF IT SITS ON parents land.

Your his W. Are you just gonna roll over and let his ALDUTROUS AFFAIR PARTNER move into YOUR MARITAL HOME?????????????

Is WW's family supportive of you? They could be your best allies.

PUT SOME PRESSURE ON THE WW.

Nesre

WH's family sympathetic, not exactly supportive, telling me to save myself.
Not sure I have much fight left, the last 8 weeks have been an emotional nightmare.
I plan to drag it out as long as possible, but at some point if one wants out, it will go through.

MyMissy

Would you be willing to e=mail me.

When I read back in your post I saw something you may want to consider.

Let me know and I will post you my e-mail

Nesre

Given the turmoil of the last 8 weeks your pain is understandable.

That being said its time to step back and re-ask yourself

WHAT DO YOU WANT ?

Yes its a tough road this recovery.
Yes its going to be you and you along pulling this wagon for a while.
Yes it can be done.

From your posts it reads as if at this point you are just wiling to do what ever your WH wants.

How about what you want. If you dont want a D then stop preparing for you and laying out the red carpet for him so he can get what he wants.

Are you ready to throw in the towle beacuse You want a D
or are you ready to throw in the towel because you are too tired of fighting.

If you are tired then take a REST.

DO NOTHING.
DONT PACK
DONT RESPOND TO EMAILS
DONT HELP HIM GET THE D THAT WANTS.


Then when you are rested and ready either resume the fight or decide what YOU want and do that.

I know its not easy but thats no reason you give up. You are stronger than that! Even I can see that from all the way here

Sure, at this point I am lost and for anything...

Caution!!!!

One reason that private chats are disabled here is to avoid facilitating off-board relationships that could become inappropriate.

Both of you are EXTREMELY vulnerable right now. Nesre - man. Mymissy - woman. Vulnerable betrayed spouses with a common story.

Not good to go off board.

What can be shared off board to your benefit can also be shared here, where no such one-on-one relationship can develop.

Extraordinary precautions should govern you too!!

Don't take this off the board.

Then let her seek help off board from WOMEN.

am not looking for an off board romance, I just want to save my marriage. I am watching it go down in a quick fire. What do you mean the board is being used against me. I have done everything people have told me, trusting yet again.

I think Nesre may be wondering if your WH is reading here. Does he know about MB?

He knows a little bit about the books, I don't think he knows about the forum

Nesre,

No 2x4 intended.

Just flew the yellow caution flag at you is all.

I know intentions are good.

But sometimes best of intentions get people hurt.

MM

At the time it appeared you may be headed for some type of MRecovery. It just seemed odd to me that just like that after printing stuff off the site it went into the crapper.

Maybe I'm just reading too much into.

I apologize for contacting you off the board.

I apologize to the board. Like to see PM's enabled.

Nesre

Thanks for help and concern from everyone, don't want to make waves. Just looking for help.

My thoughts on that are: he had decided that D was the route he was taking before I found out about the A. He really thought I would walk away and when I didn't He was confused. Now he is migrating toward her and by the OW H and I attempting to ruin their night last weekend, ensued the terrible email that he sent the next morning.
My WS tends to be very impulsive and when he has an idea he runs with it. This has been his idea, I also think that by allowing the A to continue it will self destruct.
Unfortunately that may mean D for me to allow that to happen.