I remember you, Deja. I am in the same boat. Xwh moved out in 2003, we divorced in 2006.
I dated initially, nothing serious. Did lots of things I've always wanted to do~ discovered a better, happier side of me. Am doing my postgraduate now and often think how I should have done all these things while married, instead of waiting seven years in a non-productive marriage.
Do not feel the need to have a permanent relationship, am happy alone doing my own thing although once in a while, I would like to go out for a nice dinner with someone, watch a movie, go to the beach, take a short holiday... and there isn't someone to do these things with. But still, not having someone only makes me blue for a couple of hours. I would like to go out on a date, but at my convenience
I am careful not to get stuck in the 'being alone' status and cultivating habits that will make it eventually difficult to let someone into my life. I know I would eventually want to be in a long-term relationship~ I have no kids and do not want to spend the rest of my life not being with family. I enjoy my freedom now and later, when I am with someone, I will savor the companionship. I don't think too much about losing the freedom. I think as I grow older, I am more mellow... I look for someone who will have the same understanding and values as I. I think trust is important and as the relationship grows, each partner allows the other freedom- freedom to grow. A friendship like kaystamper's is good to start with.
My struggle now is finding time for social opportunities. Also, there aren't many single people in my desired age group. I went on a couple of online dates last year but I find people on these dates are looking for a 'relationship or nothing' and they want it quick. Not my style at all. Or perhaps they know exactly what they want and I did not fit into that mould. I am happy to take my time to get to know someone... am not in a hurry and do not like being hurried.
So I don't know when I will date again. But meanwhile, I will just make life interesting for myself. I have a couple of things I wish to pursue- it will take me a few years. I continue counseling because I don't have someone to help me with my stress. You know that woman thing, come home and talk to release stresses of the day, I have just got my cat, lol.