Lexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxy is right.

You did what you need to do, for now.

It is time for some serious self care.
Take your time.
You don't have to decide anything at the moment.

(((( BIG HUGS ))))

He stopped contacting me about four hours ago.

I guess he's going to go move in with her.

I know he's not worth it right now, but I thought he'd at least fight for me. I guess not.

I am trying very hard to be serene.

I do feel relieved, to some large degree, because now he knows I know. I found out a whole lot last night, and had to sit with it overnight, and try to stay calm.

I managed it. Not even sure how, but I did.

Great job, Ridic! HUGE hat tip to PEP. WOW!

You're doing great Ridic!

You will recover, with or without your WH.

Thanks to the help of OW's sister, the entire side of her family knows, too- that he's run to her. They are completely against it, hate my husband, and they exposed him as a great big liar a long time ago ( he presented himself as a divorced man with no children).

But OW kept seeing him, even after she found out everything she had been told about him was a lie.

I doubt this will even phase her. I am sure she thinks she just won the jackpot, as does he.

I just thought he'd try and fight for me and and for our babies. I guess not.

I am trying to keep it together. My parents are helping me pull myself together around the kids.

I am going to take measures to secure the house this morning.

You take care of those children and yourself.

I know exactly what you are talking about. When I went to Plan B, part of me was hoping that he wouldn't leave. That my WH would say, "I CHOOSE US." and that he would stay. Instead, he moved right in to her place. I am living my life and he is living his. I NEVER thought those lives would be lived separate. I hold out hope that one day he may return and that I will have a little LB$ left for him.

It isn't the end of my world, but it is the end of the world I thought I would have. A couple of weeks ago, I looked around at all of the people living their lives and I thought, "Will I ever be happy again?" The answer to that question is "YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSS." It is going to take a long time, but I am actually noticing some of my old self(pre d-day) coming back out. I can listen to music again and I can DANCE. I don't feel like this all of the time, but there are moments everyday now.

Keep your chin up and keep strong. It is like you are a different person looking at your life. That's just your brain's way of protecting you. That will change, and you will feel like you again.

Take Care.

Ridic, what will happen next is your H will test your resolve to stay dark. He will try to get through by calling, emailing, texting, or even barging into the house. His goal will be to get it back to where he can have both of you meeting his needs. He won't like being cut off from you, because that reveals that the OW can't possibly meet all his needs and threatens his affair.

Just be prepared for that to happen. Everytime he gets through only serves to prop up his affair a little longer.

This is a very critical time for that reason. You are showing him that you mean it. Hang tough!

Listen to ML. I didn't believe that my WH would try but he DID. STAY DARK AS NIGHT.

He hasn't tried to talk to us at all. Nothing. Not a peep.

I think he did what Pepper said, and rejected his whole life.

I don't have anything to stay dark for. He's so angry at me for exposing to family and friends that he hates me now.

He's at work today. Told his dad he's absolutely fine.

Is this normal? That the wayward doesn't even try to fight it at all?

It's been less than a day.

Your focus is on you and the kids, right?

Yes. My parents are here, and I have been busy with the kids and my parents having our lives go on.

And I know I shouldn't worry about him right now, in terms of contact, but I can't stop myself.

I guess I need to keep busier. That'll help distract me.

I just feel overwhelmed. I think I plan A'd so long that I don't know what the heck to do now.

YKW?

This is what you do now

Plan A yourself.

In that, I mean as you settle into this feeling you have of being abandoned by your H, you approach your own thoughts like plan A towards YOU. No disrespectful judgements (about your wifely skills and looks and value), No demands (that you make things happen and do it or else all is lost), No angry outbursts (as in self flagation....yk?).

That really helps me. It makes me feel better. Because I was trying so hard to be strong, and I feel so lost now.

I had to do this. I cannot imagine how much worse it was going to get. I had to put the brakes on this, because it was getting worse not better.

But I feel awful. and worn out.

Ridic I am sending healing thoughts your way.

((((((RID))))))

These feelings are absolutely NORMAL. You will have a LOT of What if's come creeping in too. We will help you throw all of that. Taking care of yourself and your kids will be your priority and it will be a GREAT distraction. Pep has even told me to Plan A my kids and that really helped.