I think the day I move out I will definitely put something on top of the photo, after I draw horns, mustache, and black out her teeth.

don't forget the tail and a forked tongue

(((((MYMISSY)))))

Am I the only one who thinks this is just unacceptable.
There are some boundaries I am just not willing and able to let a WS cross. Hanging up a picture of OW in a home that I reside in... How DARE he not only continue the A but rub my face in it.
He certainly would come home to the locks changed and the picture sitting on the street just past the lawn where our property ended, along with any other personal items of his that I could possibly bear to have the energy to throw out the front window.

Then again I realise that everyone has a differnt threshold for tolerance and I am simply voicing mine. Good luck to you mymissy on your personal R and I would humbly suggest that you re-evaulate your boundaries for this all future relationships.

Hi mymissy,

I am a BW and I have started reading throughs others' posts and I am learning so much. Your thread is one of the first ones I have finished. I am so sorry for what you have been through. Many prayers for you in your personal recovery.

forj

No flights for me...just a quick walk over to the shredder...

It was Johnstwin.

Re the photo of OW, I would take it down and say that it is disrespectful.

Sorry Lil, I didn't think it was you. I am BAD at remembering some people's names/sitchs. I did figure it out after. Sorry I didn't fix it

No Wanna, you don't have a lower threshhold, I KNOW I couldn't tolerate this. And my lack of tolerance would definately have been a HUGE love busting Plan FU.

Mymissy, get rid of it. This is STILL your home and you should not let anyone disrespect you in, not even the heartless POSWH who resides there as well. Get rid of it YESTERDAY.....and if he asks you if you did something with it (and your WH seems to have NO brain cells left that he will ask) just pat his head and say "Yes dear I took the trash out today.......wanna potatoe chip?" and then walk away.

You don't need to yell, argue or fight.....just state your boundary ( NO TRASH allowed outside of the recepticle) and walk away.....some Waywards are so dense they need visuals

not2fun

Missy, one thing to remember is that everytime you do something to interfere with their affair, they will spend a majority of their time together just b*itching. Who cares if they're b*tching about you? The point is...listening to each other b*tch about ANYTHING is not a fun thing to do. And, you know what? I think that, sooner or later, the OW will probably say something about you that even your WH probably won't like...especially if he's tired of hearing her b*tch about you.

Thank you Pep,
I was starting to believe that I was dwelling on a planet all my own. I am all for saving marriages but I am not in for being trampled all over in the process.

S'ok, I told Flick and he thought it was a hoot. We just don't want to steal JT's thunder

This might win as the most disrespectful thing a wayward has done intentionally. He is officially out of his mind.

He needs to take it down NOW. If he doesn't then he will wear it when you smash it over his alien brain.

What I would do?

Set up a satanic shrine underneath it. Light black candles.

Put a banner above it..."Can rent by the hour"

Put additional pictures such as Tiger Woods, Hunter, David Letterman and call it "scum row"

Photoshop a pig's body below her face.

Sign the bottom saying "for a good time call..."

And right below her picture Proverbs 5:3-6

LOL Hope.

Waywards can be shamed into reality for short periods (although its prolly not a good idea in plan A) Flick did disrespectful things and I tried to remind him to not do it. For example he called me his ex wife on an auction once, I told him it was hurtful, he didnt do it again. He put PQ above me on a online friends list and I told him it was disrespectful and believe it or not he moved her to 5th position. He was doing that hateful hot/cold thing to me one day and I told him I was tired of the fact that he could'nt be at least courteous to me, and he got better...for a while.

Plan A is NOT plan doormat

This ended up on my "RANT" thread, yesterday.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2337894#Post2337894

I absolutely love your rant Pep!!!!
Don't worry MB community - I will have final say.

I have amazed myself at the strength and restraint that I have shown throughout this entire ordeal. I am now all about finding peace for myself and personal recovery. But also have much retaliation - along with OWH - planned.

To answer WMF - no, you are not dwelling on another planet. Hanging the picture is completely and totally unacceptable; and no worries WH will know that I find it completely disrepectful.
I just got word today that my apartment will be ready by the first of next week and have arranged for movers for the end of next week. Right now my focus is on getting out of here and getting through the next 2 weeks of medical stuff and actually moving.

Being able to read through all of his emails has been very eye opening. He is damaged and broken - not the person I fell in love with and married. Right now I cannot contemplate staying married or even being with a person like this. He has no conscience; and truly believes that he is doing no wrong - "since they were meant to be together".

I want to get everything I asked for in legal separation and get him to sign and if he is getting desparate, then I will get it quicker.

He is taking this to the extreme and I have accepted that now, everyone keeps telling me that he will come crawling back after it all explodes - I will cross that bridge at that time. For now I need peace and I still know WH better than anyone and this will not end until he hits rock bottom. OWH and I are going to make sure that happens - after legal documents are signed.

So rest assured - the hanging of the picture will have ramifications.

Thanks for all of the support.

Oooohhhhhh
still waters run deep
I like it !!!
(brief phone posting)

MM

Good 4 you with the legal seperation...


"hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

Can this "Misquote" also include when she's teamed up with OWBH for execution of the ramifications??

Hang in there your doing great. Gotta see where this goes.

Nesre

Revenge is a dish best served cold so if thats the route you plan to go then I guess you are on track for achieving that perfectly. Hope it brings you the closure you need to notch your personal recovery up one more level.

That being said the consequence of DISRESPECT part requires a more direct and immediate and proportionate response. Its sort of like training a dog (I am in no way comparing your WH to a dog ). When he pees on the couch he needs an immediate response/consequence to LEARN that his action was wrong and will not be tolerated. If you punish him an hour later he will only be confused at to why you are being insane and acting like a lunatic.

I wrote over the picture " I cannot believe you hung a picture of this wh**e in MY home while I am still living here, this is completely disrespectful and unacceptable - much like your actions and behavior".

That being said, no I honestly don't think revenge will help me achieve the closure I need. I think that will simply take lots of time, but it sure will feel good to get what I want and for him to not be able to give OW what she wants.
Lets see if they can live on just love and not his wallet/savings.

Besides, people don't change their true nature like he is saying that he has, so I believe that it is all still just smoke he is blowing to try and continue to live this fantasy they have created.

At this point in this game, to much has been said and done for me to consider anything but dark Plan B for personal recovery only.

So, for me I have movers coming in 8 days (while he is at work)and will be gone, along with most of the furniture by the time he gets home that day.

Yeah, I cannot wait until I have a peaceful 4 walls and no more crap to deal with - other than the legalities of it all, which can go through my lawyer.

I feel as though I tried my hardest and gave it all my best shot to recover this marriage. But I do think he had already decided our fate before I even found out about the A.

Now all I can do is heal and hopefully learn something from all of this.