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ok forget what I just posted....except the book part


Me BS 54
XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12
DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years
D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
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Have you told him how angry a Iraq vet can get when some A-hole is on his turf.....


Me BS 54
XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12
DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years
D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
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Without touching him and with some moral support from your buds I bet you could explain to him that you love your wife and are trying to save your marriage and how wise it would be for him to keep his distance from your wife.........


Me BS 54
XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12
DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years
D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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Originally Posted By: Aden8154
Itold her I'm not putting up with this guy anymore and I told him to atop all contact with her. She says it's not about him it's about not wanting me anymore. She said that she got over me after I asked for a divorce. I messed up a lil cuz I got mad and said fine I'll take the kids and leave which made her mad. She said she dosent want to work this out anymore and she dosent love me. I told her I'll cut her phone off if she dosent stop talking to him and she's not going anywhere without me i've also taken her money away but she thinks I'm just trying to back her in a corner and leave her stuck with me. What should I do now?


Follow through. She'll get over it. She'll kick and scream and make threats of divorce (I might have decided to stay but this is the last straw, bs). As long there is no other guy in the picture anymore, she'll stay with you.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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When you go to georgia do NOT leave your kids with her. Talk to your commanders.

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She dosent want to end this over the phone she wants all of us to talk in person. Shoud I do that? I mean in person really.

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Originally Posted By: Aden8154
She dosent want to end this over the phone she wants all of us to talk in person. Shoud I do that? I mean in person really.


She can send him a letter that you approve. No way should she ever see this guy in person again. She doesn't get to dictate how it ends.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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She said she ended it over the phone and that she totally dosent love me anymore because I'm trying to control her and make her stay with me. I feel like complete crap because she waited for me and I won't wait for her. I feel like I made a mistake and am just trying to get what I want. I love her and just want her to be happy.

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how do i start a new post

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There is a "New Topic" tab. Click and begin. If you are still having trouble, email me.


breezemb@gmail.com
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Originally Posted By: Aden8154
No not in the service just some 22 year old guy who has no car works at a hotel and dosent have his own place


I assume you are saying he lives with his parents....TELL THEM.

Exposure to his parents, that he lives with will hopefully make dating and talking to your wife so not worth it for OM he'll disappear to greener pastures. He's 22...the world is his oyster, what's he doing messing around with a married, potentially mentally ill, mother of two children and an apparently tee'd off military husband. His parents will knock some sense in the boy and your wife will go nuts (which only serves to undermine the relationship further as he likes the secret cheating wife and not the PISSED AT THE WORLD desperate crazed madwoman that you wife has become due to exposure. Just more reason FOR HIM TO WALK AWAY.

Call up his parents...explain who you are and that their son is having an affair with you wife and that you'd appreciate any help they can offer/give to you as you try to save your marriage (and family).

Whether you want to save it or not (or should) is up to you. Tough call as this MAY be a good time to get out and achieve primary custody of your children as wayward wives are often, but not always, stupid when it comes to legal matters and securing their rights. They often get so caught up in the addiction that they screw up their own cases.

Mr. Wondering


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Aden,

Mr.W is spot on..........

Put that good head of your to work and apply this advice......

Last edited by stillcommitted; 03/17/10 10:43 PM.

Me BS 54
XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12
DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years
D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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Originally Posted By: Aden8154
She said she ended it over the phone and that she totally dosent love me anymore because I'm trying to control her and make her stay with me. I feel like complete crap because she waited for me and I won't wait for her. I feel like I made a mistake and am just trying to get what I want. I love her and just want her to be happy.


Blah, blah, blah. She'll get over it. If she wants to leave, she can file for divorce. She doesn't want to leave, she just wants a husband AND a boyfriend. If she maintains NC w/ OM, she'll start working on things with you again.

Stick around here. Read up on Dr. Harley's concepts. You need to learn what her most important ENs are, how to meet them, and what love busters you are committing and how to stop them. Your work is just getting started.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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