Eeeek,
A bit more than I would have done in plan A

Maybe tone it down a bit by just taking it down and leaving a note saying something like "Putting up pictures of OW while I am still living in the house is very disrespectful. I have been your wife for XX years. You may do as you wish in your own home, not in mine."

Less AO's that way

I do like your gumption tho You got 'tude

my missy, I know you are in Plan A....but

whoa whoa whoa.

I know these WS are in a fog but we all have our breaking points and he would be wearing that picture.

Blessings

Yeah, I think you overdid it on the picture. I am thinking that on your last evening there, you might like to have a nice shrimp dinner...and use the leftover shrimp to...um...improve the curtain rods.

Nah...don't do it! Sure is a tempting thought, though!

MM

Just checkin in. Hows everything going? You takin care of yourself?

When is DR.s appt?

Nesre

Thanks for asking! Have not been so good last few days, very tearful. Once I do not need info for dissolution, then I plan to stop reading emails - too painful.

I see the Dr. on 03/25. I am moving on 03/26. Then I start my scans on 03/29. Again I am going to assume that the ultrasound is showing questionable lymph nodes due to stress and that all will be fine. I am still exercising and eating well.

WH and OW are out looking at their dream house today. OWH and I still feel like we are in an episode of the twilight zone. How does one make an appointment with a real estate agent to view a home with your affairee, while the two of you are still married to your respective spouses and divorces have not even been officially filed yet. OW and OWH have not even told their children yet, she keeps backing out.

After they tour the house they are going out to dinner and 2 of his children are meeting them. Apparently they caved. Then OW mother wants to meet WH. Obviously everyone surrounding them are enablers.

In the emails that I read most often it is just juvenile crap, second to that is bashing me, and then when he doesn't bash me, she will then start stating, I know she is up to something. Just wait till I move out, take everything and then he sees my demands for dissolution.
Then I am sure the emails will start flying back and forth. I am surrendering to the inevitable.....

Oh, and based on the response I got regarding the picture. I have not done anything with it yet. When I move out I will simply throw away.

Is anyone ever shocked at the lengths the WS will go to protect their selfish fantasy? How much they are willing to hurt the one person they once said they loved? And how quickly they and the enablers around them begin to erase the BS from their lives? How much they have changed and how quickly this change occurred?

I have so many questions, questions I know I will probably never get the answers to. I keep thinking that if I had those answers maybe I could process this better.

But I don't think that is going to happen.

How do you move forward, there is so much pain with packing up, moving, and dealing with continued b.s. of his going to meet her every weekend.

Mymissy, it is shocking but when i read the other threads it is quite common. My XH is totally controlled by OW that he is like her now.

You are no longer dealing with your H. Just an alien.

My XH is in such a selfish fantasy he has shut his own children out. He blames me but it is him making no effort at all. Our DD16, who used to call her Dad "her hero", has not seen him for almost a year and he lives 5 miles away. Sad situation but it is her choice and he is doing nothing to change it.

I just pray, I try to detach and take one day at a time. Once you are out of the house they will have no one else to blame.

Blessings.

About that picture...just invert a brown paper sack over it and hang it back up. After all, don't ugly people look better with brown paper bags over their heads?

Put 2 bags in case one breaks. Also turn the picture upside down.

Just breathe. We know how difficult this is.

I like the brown paper bag idea, I would still like to permanently destroy the picture though.

I move out tomorrow, he still does not know. He will come in to an empty house.

I have not cried all week until tonight, I got a little teary; I am also leaving behind two of my bigger dogs and only taking the one small one. It breaks my heart to leave them behind, but I do not have a lifestyle,the space, and am renting for the next year to be able to take two large dogs.
WH states that although he has gone through many changes (understatement), that his love for the dogs has never changed and I have to tell myself that he will continue to care for them as always despite his current selfishness.
I agree with hope3343 that an alien continues to inhabit the body of the person I once knew, and I continue to be amazed at the level of stupidity that he displays. WH has started to change many of his personal habits because she doesn't like them.
Whatever.

Thanks for the continued encouragement Pep, some days it feels like I am moving forward only moment by moment. But I know that I deserve better. I still would not have envisioned my life where it is today a mere 12 weeks ago.

Good news is that through continued exercise I have lost all of my previous cancer weight and look and feel great. My preliminary lab work has all come back looking good and the scans are just a precaution to be sure of no metastasis.

The other good things in my life are a great job/career, supportive friends, family, and coworkers. So life should only continue to get better.
Again thanks to all who have given me great advice and support.

I am praying for you today. I know how hard this must be for you......Let us know when you can how you are doing......

{{{{{{{MyMissy}}}}}}}}}}

not2fun

Mymissy,

Thinking about you today. Did you leave a Plan B letter for him?

Would like to be a fly on the wall for when WH walks into the house. Because he is in such a fog it might take him a little time to process that you are not there.

I worry about the 2 dogs. Any possibility that a friend or family could take them? Seriously when these waywards get like this the only objective is to focus on the OP.

Just a thought. I hate this too and I feel for you. Blessings.

Well, I spent my first night in my new place; I have familiar things around me within four different walls. It feels strange to not be in my home for the last 12 years; yet I am oddly relieved to be away.
Part of me wants to know what he is doing and what he has done in the house; part of me is grateful I don't know. It makes this transition easier.
I have asked my MIL to make sure the dogs are ok, she and my FIL will ensure that they get the basic care they need. I know they won't get the attention they are used to, but I will be able to go out when he is at work and occasionally see them, play with them, and walk them.
I also feel as though all of this happened so fast, we really never spoke, and that I have so little closure. I lost my friend and my husband almost overnight; and am only starting to realize how much had not been said between us in a couple of years.
Its hard to wrap your thoughts and emotions around all of it....

Here is the "sort of" plan B letter that I left, I say "sort of" because at this point I am not sure where I stand.

WH,
I have always admired your integrity, caring, and reliability. Your strength has always inspired me. I will remember kindly all the times you have stood by me in bad health, in difficult times with the kids, and in other difficulties in our lives. I will also fondly remember all the fun times in PIB, Vegas, and the Smoky Mountains, the long walks on the beaches in Florida and the Bahamas. But I will mostly remember good times we have had with each other and with the kids. DstepD20 and I have forged a friendship that will last a lifetime. I have also always believed in you, trusted you and loved you.
I am sorry for my part in creating an environment that helped make your affair with OWH�s wife possible. Since you continue your affair with his wife; I need to avoid seeing you or talking to you. You may contact me through your mother, my brother, or my lawyer. I ask that you respect my decision to separate from you this way. You must understand the suffering that I have endured because of your continued contact with her, the behavior you have demonstrated, and the choices that you have made that have affected us both and our family. I simply cannot be around you any longer knowing that you continue to see her. I cannot live here under these circumstances.
The eternal optimist in me will always believe in the power of forgiveness. I loved you when I married you; and deep, deep in my heart a part of me always will.
Mymissy

Mymissy

I hope that now that you have removed yourself from the direct path of watching your WH destroy your M that you will be able to find some peace and healing that you so desperately need.
I am sorry that his continued cruel and hurtfull acts have brought you to this point.
I am proud of you for the way you handeled youself and am looking forward to hearing updates from you as to where this new road leads you to.
Take the time to find happiness in activities you enjoy and CONTINUE to remain dark and DO NOT allow the wayardness to seep in and steal your chances of achieving happiness.
Good luck and best wishes for a happier future.

It is a bit easier being away from the situation, definitely more peaceful, the healing will come with time.
WH not making it completely easy either, I moved out on Fri/Sat.
WH came home on Sat. not knowing I had moved and then texted me several times and needed to switch vehicles for a few days. I keep it short, simple and to the point. Then Sunday, he texts me again out of the blue to let me know I can bring small dog over during the day if I have a long day at work.
I have not firmly put boundary in place regarding only contacting me through certain people; but I may have to.
Overall, I feel less tense; but sad and lonely. I guess no more sad and lonely since D day.
And I feel as though I am still asking Why me/Why us/Why now?????