1. Do not warn anyone of what you are going to do.

2. Call om, he probably has a secretary that answerers the phone. The conversation should go like this.

Receptionist = Hello, you have reached the office of OM, How can I help you.

Tex77 = Hello, my name is Tex77, I am Mrs. Tex77's husband. I am calling to speak to OM regarding him ending his sexual relationship with my wife.

That should get the ball rolling.

3. Contact your wifes parent's, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, and her kids tell them about the affair and ask them for there support in ending it so that you can save your marriage.

4. If you have not yet heard back from OM, call his office back and ask the secretary what news organization OM would pref ere you call about his relationship with your wife.

5. Call anyone that OM has contact with that you can. He is a lobiest, call whomever he lobbies for and tell them about your wifes affair with OM and ask them for help in stopping it.

Do these things ASAP
Do them in order, and do them all at once
Do not warn anyone
Do not wait between steps

Stop reading this, and go do these things NOW!!

Thanks for the input everyone. I just sent this email to the OM:



Mr. OM,

My name is Texas777. I am the husband of Mrs. Texas 777. As you know, my wife and I are separated. In the last few weeks my wife and I have been seeing each other regularly and working toward a marriage reconciliation. My wife has also notified her attorney to put our divorce proceeding on hold, and my wife has agreed to not put our marital home on the market for sale.

My wife has informed me that she was involved in a sexual relationship with you during our separation and that you are still in contact with her. My wife and I have made a lot of progress over the last few weeks, but your ongoing contact with my wife is causing a huge obstacle for our reconciliation progress. I am respectfully requesting that you immediately cut off ALL FORMS of contact with my wife even if my wife initiates the contact. I love my wife very much and I am committed to doing whatever I can to repair our marriage. From what I know about you, you seem to be a decent man. I'm sure you can understand my position and I hope that you will respect my request.

This is called 'partial exposure'. If OM isn't that interested in your W it may - may - prompt him to end the A.

In my sitch the OWH did a similar thing, and it only prompted my H and his AP (affair partner) to go underground. The A did not end until they were exposed to their employer.

Tex - this is a good start for exposure but is not enough. You should strongly consider a phone conversation with OM. I think it would be more effective verbally than in writing. Your WW should write an NC letter so that OM knows that SHE doesn't want contact with him. Otherwise, he will feel that you are preventing her from seeing him and they will together go further underground. The NC letter should be approved and mailed by her.

She may be mad for awhile but she will thank you later down the road when you two are enjoying the best M you could ever imagine. I am a FWW and I am overjoyed that my H exposed. We could have never had a chance at R if he hadn't. Also, the exposure will help her get over any withdrawal for OM more quickly.

Ooops!!! I reread my post after I replied and found a mistake.

The NC letter should be approved and mailed by YOU!!!!!!! (not her).

Sorry!

FAIL!


Go back to the top of this page, read the directions, and follow them.

NOW!

Now the [censored] has hit the fan!!!!! The OM sent my email to my wife. My wife just called me VERY pissed off and VERY hysterical. She said basically that I have ruined her life and that she may have lost the OM for good because of what I did. She said that because of what I've done I have lost her forever and we are finished, and then she hung up on me.

Strait out of the Wayward Wife script!!

We told you this would happen.

This is a good thing.

It means Exposure is damaging her fantasy.

Go back to the top page and follow the directions.

Your partial exposure will fail and you are running out of time.

Your marriage will survive her anger, it will not survive an ongoing affair.

Take it from those of us who have had to do this, lived through it, and bought the T-Shirt.

Exposure works, it kills the affair, and the worse the exposure, the faster and more completely it works.

Excellent! Remember we warned you what she would say and do. Continue on with the exposure while you have the opportunity and BEFORE she gets a chance to spin it. Don't worry about her anger, it will subside. Eventually, if all goes well, she will THANK you for fighting for her.

What we said. True to script. Now. You need to complete this exposure quickly. Your WW has been tipped to what you're doing and she'll be working hard to spin this. You MUST complete exposure - reread Gack's post to you about that and FOLLOW IT.

Or blow this opportunity to save your M. Your call.

My wife doesn't have any family that would help me. My family is aware of the situation but they do not want to get involved, and they live many states away. And I will certainly not stoop to the level of vindictive behavior where I send emails to the OM's fellow workers. That's really low and would bring on swift reprisals from the OM who is a very powerful person. If the OM wanted to, he could probably have my life ruined with just one phone call.

So you'd rather let him boink your wife?? What are you afraid of?

No one has suggested you do anything vindictive.
Only what is necessary.


Poppycock!
Right now OM is more afraid of you than you are of him.
And rightfully so.

That is not the point.
The point is to get the affair out into the light of day where it will wither and die.

Now that your wife knows you've exposed you better get on the stick and finish your exposure NOW before she has time to tell her version to friends and family.

"Texas777 is jealous and controlling. He won't just let me go. He hates it that I've found happiness. He's so vindictive... I can't believe I was ever married to him. I'm so glad we're separated and on our way to divorcing. I can't believe he'd stoop this low."

You'd best tell YOUR version of the story first.

"WW and I are in the process of attempting to reconcile. She has stalled the divorce proceedings and we have been rebuilding. Unfortunately she is still involved with OM (NAME HIM!!!) and obviously as long as that is the case, a full recovery is impossible. I'd appreciate your prayers and support of our marriage as we navigate these difficult waters."

Do. This. Now.
You're off to a good start. Finish the job.

I just got an email from my wife. Here it is:


I understand how you feel but I don't think you should have written anyone an email. This email just caused us to go backwards 100%. I have spoken to OM this morning about the email. Please do not send anymore emails to anyone I know. This will only back fire for you, it's not productive.

Ignore it. How does she know what's productive?
She's boinking some other guy.
She's the LAST person to know what is productive.


"This is not productive" = "I don't like the idea that I might lose my piece on the side, waaah waah wahhhh"

I have already told everyone that I can about what is going on.

I didn't ask a rhetorical question, Tex. I really want you to settle down for a minute and think. What are you afraid of?

Are you afraid OM will ruin your credit rating/community standing/good name/relations with employers,etc.? Are you afraid he'll send a goon to break your kneecaps? Look at each of these scenarios and truly pick them apart to determine their actual likelihood. I think you're too close to the sitch to see what we're seeing. What we're seeing is that you've just partially busted OM and your WW.

Here's what probably went down:
OM gets your email, says "Oh, shiite. I KNEW this broad was going to be a hassle! Damn, how will this affect my job?" He immediately forwards it to your WW with some cryptic note, words to the effect of "Just got this from your H. I thought you two were finished??"
Your WW immediately starts circling the wagons "We ARE finished! He's just a nut job trying to make my life hell!"

Now. What are you going to do? Let her leave the last word? Back this up! When he walks into his office it should be to a few snickers and a question or two "Um...OM...I didn't want to say anything, but I just got a phone call from a gentleman by the name of Texas777...it's a little sensitive..."

OM is going to feel your wrath! It will make the A not worth the effort! Holy mackeral - you could take this to the newspapers if he's that powerful! Imagine THAT exposure! And he may be worrying about that as we speak!

Sorry, I got confused. You did tell your wife's parents and siblings, or not?

Also, do you have kids together? Did you tell the kids?

What about wife's best friend?
Pastor or priest?

Don't mean to badger you. It's just that exposure is very effective if done properly but loses its power if trickled out. You want to do this RIGHT, not easy.

We are rooting for you.

Wayward babble. Ignore it. Tell her you will do whatever it takes to save your M. Sounds to me like the email was a direct hit. Ramp it up, Texas. Who can you expose this to? Think! Who is in a position to influence your WW? That's who needs to know!