Your wife is missing her honey and now she's pissed. BFD.

I thought men in Texas were supposed to have balls?

What do you think your wife thinks of a husband who meekly allows her to boff OM?

Ha! Looks like MaiMai and I were on the same wavelength this morning.

u2,

I am of the opinion that right now it would be a very bad thing for Tex to try and "educate" his wife. That is a disrespectful judgment and would send his WW running for the hills. Waywards generally perceive their BS as controlling and manipulative anyway. An attempt by the BS to educate the WS only makes it worse.

I'm not saying your info is wrong, just that this is not the time. You're talking recovery and he's still trying to bust up the affair.

It's so true!! Thats what makes it so funny!!

Her family might not help you, but think of it this way. Her knowing that her family knows will help you. They don't have to put in 2 cents, but letting them know will ruin the affair.

The whole "You ruined everything!" BS has all been heard before. Yes you ruined her affair, you ruined her fantasy, you ruined her selfishness. She will try to shift the blame on you emphasizing that you are controlling. If so let her know that you were wrong and you are going to make an effort to stop making demands, or have angry outbursts.

Let her know that this is not controlling, and holding this type of secret is damaging to you. You are doing this for you, your emotional safety, and hopefully your marriage. She can continue the affair if she wants, you have no control over it. In the meantime you can continue to protect yourself from any type of emotional damage.

Above all stay calm, smile, and think in terms of protecting yourself. Not in terms of being vindictive to her. Let her know that if you were vindictive you could have told people that have no need to know.

edit: make demands -> stop making demands

Tell people regardless of whether they will help or not. The point is to get the affair to wither in the light of day.

Tell everybody, including the media.


There is nothing vindictive about wanting your wife for yourself. The purpose here is not to hurt anyone; it is to expose the affair to LIGHT so it will WITHER.


And you are saying this to dozens of people who have done exactly that. Many of them have saved their marriages from an affair.

Are you saying all of those people, who are trying to help you, are low?

Not a one of the people here who saved a marriage after an affair did it without taking this step they are recommending you take. Not a one.


Shoot, I thought this was America. How did he get to be a feudal overlord?


Bull. It's the other way around. It's you who threatens his life with one phone call.

Ask him if he would prefer you contact his local NBC, CBS, or ABC affiliate.

How much to rent a billboard in Texas?

I bet your lobbyist/politician/scumbag would love that.

Good answer!

Vinegar kills mold DEAD.

Actually, that's not true. I didn't know about MB when H was having an A. I found MB after the affair was ended and exposure is only recommended if the affair is active.

In hindsight, I sorely wish I had known about exposure and exposed. It would have saved us a lot of trouble on down the line.

Okay, this is all good. She's wheedling you and trying to manipulate you so you'll stop your interference. These are positive signs that you are interfering in the A. Good. This is where you want to be a troublemaker - make the A so much trouble that it's not worth continuing it! Now, think - how can you do that? By saying 'yes, dear' and sitting quietly with your hands folded? I don't think so, Tex! It's by standing up to your WW and her a-hole OM and saying "Not while I have anything to say about it, you won't!"

I don't think you realize the power you have over OM! Think, Tex!

Turtlehead,

You are right. I got the cart before the horse. I just wish Tex could see that max exposure would lead to something GREAT in the long run. Anyway, me getting the cart before the horse is another example of me being a newbie and the fact that I still have LOTS to learn from you guys.

Tex, PLEASE put politeness to the side and do what it takes to save your WW from this creep. Does she realize that she will be MISERABLE with him???? Continued exposure is the only way to put her fantasy world to the curb.

Another thing Tex . . . earlier in this post I mentioned that I still have a lot to learn from the folks on here. I am learning everyday. Guess what, they have not been wrong yet!!!!

I am not going to his office and have a face to face confrontation. All that would result from that is security would throw me out on my azz and I would then be faced with arrest and/or a restraining order against me. And I am not calling the OM because that would just lead to angry outbursts and nothing would get accomplished.

Basically I have accomplished what I wanted to accomplish. The OM now knows that my wife was deceiving him about seeing me again and working on our marriage. I think the OM is a pretty respectable/smart guy and he doesn't want to be associated with a woman in a nasty divorce or a woman that can't make up her mind about whether she wants to divorce her husband or not. I think the drama is going to be too much for him and he's gonna bow out. BTW, my wife has a ton of baggage with her already. Her 25 year old spoiled brat daughter and illegitimate 1.5 year old grandchild is living with my wife and my wife is supporting them all. My wife is having a financial crisis. My wife also is baby-sitting 5-7 days a week, 8-14 hours a day while her daughter is in school.

The daughter and the child did live with us when we were together and this is what destroyed our marriage. My wife is about to lose he mind after 1.5 years of being her daughters baby-sitting slave and doormat. My wife told me 2 weeks ago that she is near suicide and hates her daughter. I was very concerned so I arranged her to go to therapy and told her I would pay for it. My wife needs to learn the skills to solve her problems and set boundaries for her adult children. My wife is incapable of addressing any problem in her life, and therefore her problems never get solved and just compound. That is why she is so unhappy.

Good job!!! You just ruined her affair. You just took the crack pipe away from the crack head. So, just relax and wait for her to calm down! If she calls back, tell her you are so sorry she is upset but you will do what it takes to fight for your marriage.

[quote=Texas777]
I am not going to his office and have a face to face confrontation. All that would result from that is security would throw me out on my azz and I would then be faced with arrest and/or a restraining order against me. And I am not calling the OM because that would just lead to angry outbursts and nothing would get accomplished.

Then go to his house. Or meet him outside his office. Unless there are No Trespassing signs posted and a locked gate that you would have to break into, I'm not seeing the problem. Just go in and introduce yourself to the receptionist and tell her you're there to see OM. She'll page him, and he'll more than likely refuse to see you, like the coward he certainly is. I don't think walking into a building is grounds for a restraining order. And OM more than likely isn't going to let this get that big. Calling him on the phone has limited potential. That one I know from my own sitch.

Basically I have accomplished what I wanted to accomplish. The OM now knows that my wife was deceiving him about seeing me again and working on our marriage.

Well, no. Probably not. Your WW will spin that.

I think the OM is a pretty respectable/smart guy

OM is a cheating SOB who is fine with boinking married women.

and he doesn't want to be associated with a woman in a nasty divorce or a woman that can't make up her mind about whether she wants to divorce her husband or not. I think the drama is going to be too much for him and he's gonna bow out. BTW, my wife has a ton of baggage with her already. Her 25 year old spoiled brat daughter and illegitimate 1.5 year old grandchild is living with my wife and my wife is supporting them all. My wife is having a financial crisis. My wife also is baby-sitting 5-7 days a week, 8-14 hours a day while her daughter is in school.

Boinking OM is her Calgon.

The daughter and the child did live with us when we were together and this is what destroyed our marriage.

I'm sure this stressed your M, but it didn't destroy it. Lack of care and protection between the two of you is what has damaged your M.


My wife is about to lose he mind after 1.5 years of being her daughters baby-sitting slave and doormat. My wife told me 2 weeks ago that she is near suicide and hates her daughter.

The stress of having an A has caused a lot of people to have suicidal thoughts. Keep that in mind.

????? He's been screwing YOUR WIFE!!! He's a POS scumbag. You need to understand that.

Tex, you might have already answered this, but are you certain the OM is not married? I wonder how his constituents would feel if they knew he was carrying on with a married woman? As a TEXAS VOTER, I question the character of any politician who would wreck the marriage of Texas citizens.

p.s. I think you did just great and I suspect you scared the hell out of the OM. I agree with you that it would not be a good idea to go to his office! He could have you arrested for harassment.

I do think it might be helpful to expose her to her family, though. I bet you big money this affair has been going on much longer than you suspect.

Does he has an "official" girlfriend? any facebook account?

C'mon, Tex, you knocked me over with that comment. Any man that does a married woman and likely had every thing to do with your break up is not a "respectable, smart" guy. In many areas of Texas, the knowledge that someone in a position of power was boinking a married woman would ruin his career. [unless he is in Austin, and that might help his career]

Is this guy an elected official? I sure hope this is not my congressman, who is SINGLE.

I never liked Austin.