I am planning a movie date with H tonight. He wants to see American Beauty. Not sure I can handle it. We are recovering fairly well from my H's affair. I understand there is a graphic scene with the wife having sex with op in hotel room and the movie deals with MLC. Anyone who is recovering and rebuilding seen this movie. Comments?

I saw it last weekend and found it VERY depressing!!!! I would NOT recommend for folks in our situation.<P>Roll Me Away

Wife told me she is going to see it with OM tonight! I suggested she see The Story of Us instead. I told her American Beauty was too graphic, but maybe her taste has changed!

Yes, I saw it. What bothered me most about it (not that it's a bad movie, because it isn't; it's quite brilliant, in fact) was not even Lester's lusting after her daughter's friend; but the fact that the males in the audience at the showing I attended thought this was Mondo Cool. I think they were rooting for him to nail the girl. I shudder to think at how many men went home and started looking at their daughter's friends, thinking "Hmmm....maybe she has the hots for me too."<P>Lester was admired by this audience, and I think that's disgusting. It's only at the end, when he suddenly gets his head back on straight (as well as another part of his anatomy) that he becomes sympathetic.<P>As for the wife's tryst, well, I can't speak to that pushing any of MY buttons. I was mostly offended by her characterization as being so cartoonish -- that we have no sense of what caused HER to become what she is. She's just a cartoon harpy.<P>A very misogynistic movie, IMHO. But Wes Bentley (the kid next door) was brilliant, as was Spacey.

Simone - You should definitely see it. It depicts an affair in a pretty realistic way. Since your H is the "affairee" in your marriage, it might help him to see a mirror image, in which the Annette Bening character cheats on her H (Kevin Spacey character). Tell us what you think when you've seen it! R & B,<P>--Wex

Thank you all who responded for your advice. H sensed my trepidation about the movie and we didn't want to screw up our "date", so we decided to just go out to dinner. (Last time we tried to see a movie I walked out after a few minutes because the actress had the same color hair as the ow - pretty pathetic, I know...)<BR>I do plan on seeing this movie, but maybe I am not quite ready for it.<BR>Anyway, our "date" went well except that at the restaurant was a guy (and his wife) who worked with H and had an office affair a couple of years ago. Unlike me, his wife had the balls to come into the office and confront the ow - so during dinner I kept trying not to think about how much more strong and powerful than me she must be. <BR> Simone

I'm probably too late to make an impact on your decision, but here's my two cents:<P>Petunia and I saw the movie last weekend. I guess it was easier for US to handle because we've been recovering for 7 months now. I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who is still REALLY struggling with their marriage, because it IS pretty graphic and the two are EXTREMELY hateful toward each other.<P>I agree with D&C that Annette Bening's character was too cartoonish, and that Spacey's Lester was idolized despite the sickness of his thoughts about his daughter's friend.<P>However, I think the movie was good for me and Petunia to see because it helped me realize HOW BAD it could have gotten for us if we hadn't woken up. Can you imagine how long those two characters must have hated each other for them to get to the point that they just didn't care about each other AT ALL?<P>I thought the movie was a brilliant look at how tragic marriages and families can become when the family members stop trying to communicate and stop caring about each other.<P>I also thought Mr. Bentley was phenomenal as the kid next door. He had a confidence that I've always wished I could have (albeit without the drug-dealing habit )<P>Anyway, I highly recommend the film, but only if you're prepared to handle the gloominess of the marriage depicted.<P>Hope that helps.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>