I know that they say that God doesn't give a person more than they can handle, but I think God forgot to write some of the cr** that I am dealing with down, because I don't think I can handle a whole h*** of a lot more!!!!!!!

(BIG VENT HERE AFTER DEALING WITH MY MOM'S EPISODE TODAY!!! REALLY TIRED OF BEING HIT OVER AND OVER AND OVER..........)

Hang in there, prayers are going up for strength. Glad your mom is doing okay. That must have been very frightening.

I think I asked before, but how long does your student teaching go?

It was very frightening because she is a big help to me with helping to take care of the kids.

Student teaching ends after the first week of May and my electronic portfolio is due the week after. I am on Spring Break as of this afternoon through the following week!!!!!

Thank goodness you get a break!!!! I know how demanding student teaching is.

After you rest up a bit you need to get busy doing some spying. This is going to continue going on until you expose them.

{{{{PM2}}}}}

How hard and scary - I'm praying, too. God is with you right now.


Dittoes from me.

In case you need another one. Dittos from me too.

It is amazing how bad my body is aching and hurting right now. I am assuming that I haven't relaxed in almost 13 weeks since starting my internship, WH moving out, and everything else that my body realizes that I have nothing required of me tomorrow so every muscle that has wanted to ache and hurt is.

Migraine, sore muscles, and truly exhausted in every physical and emotional way. Hot shower and then a good nights sleep!

Sounds like a SOLID PLAN.

Yes, relax.........

I know how hard student teaching is. I did mine and never taught again. My mom did hers and was drop dead tired every night - couldn't even make dinner. And you have kids to care for.

We just keep reminding you (not that you have forgotten) that exposure is the most powerful weapon to end affairs.

I know and actually, my parent's got a new vehicle that WH doesn't know about. She asked me if I wanted her to follow him home one night after he has been here to find out his location. I told her that would work for me. She finishes her overnight rotations on Wednesday evening and will do it the next time after that when he is here.

Also, the kids are going with my parents to North Carolina from next Thurs. to Sun. and that will give me some time to do more snooping when I am done working on Fri. and Sat. because I will have to keep myself extremely busy with being completely alone for those days (other than my parents dog to care for).

As far as being exhausted, yeah. I have the kids and am working part time each day and Sat. with clients from my other job. First night I could have slept in and I was up til midnight and woke up again at 5:30am. Still have a bad migraine this morning. Maybe it is sinus related so I am going to try to take something for sinus/headache relief.

I love my student teaching placement and the kids that I am working with. The hardest thing yesterday was having to send a student in two different periods to the office for sleeping in resource class and keeping another student for lunch detention for attitude/sleeping in class/missing assignments. The first student we are trying to establish a pattern to try to assist him at home with parent not making sure he is able to get sleep in order to productive in school. I know it is for his own good, but he is such a good kid and incredibly smart when he focuses and applies himself a little.

Fabulous news! Now, no matter how badly she wants to, she needs to be sneaky and sly. No confrontations or letting him know that she found him out.

Good job on your student, too. Even bright students sometimes need a little help making good choices.

Oh...she won't confront him. She has done nothing that she hasn't asked me about first (ie. talking to him in the beginning, sending an email to him, etc.).

Found something interesting...the day my mom was transported to the hospital, WH asked how "mom" was when he talked to me on the phone. I later found an unknown number on the cell phone account and he had called the fire department that transported her to the hospital a little bit after I had let him know about mom going to the hospital by ambulance. My mom gets frustrated because just when she starts thinking bad thoughts about him, he seems to do something that shows he cares. I know that he knows people at that station and he had not had an update about my mom because I did not know anything myself at that point.

Found a new way to deal with my frustrations, get on the neighbor kids about cutting through my yard, handing their clothes on a tree that I am trying to grow (while their parents sit there and watch), bouncing balls on my plants, etc. I am shocked that they are playing basketball on my driveway and my kids aren't even out there playing with them. One of them has their own basketball goal and all their parents are just sitting there watching them. Really??? My kids aren't allowed to play on someone else's property without their child being out, but that is just me.

Why is this weekend so hard?? I am dreading Easter and struggling to even go get candy and presents for my kids. WH is working at his PT job all weekend, so at least he won't be with "her".

Had C appt. today for DS and then a little bit for me. We had an interesting discussion today. I was really concerned DS is not talking to or with anybody about the situation. She did a little more direct talking with him than usual. When C was talking with me before hand, she discussed something (with the exact wording from an email discussion that WH and I had THIS week) with me. I only know of the one time WH talked with C for 20 minutes after the kids session several weeks ago. If he isn't seeing C right now, then how did she get the exact wording like the email discussion WH and I had. (Emails were about the kids not R talk.) He also talked with the Pastor within the last two weeks also (right after IL's invited and I discussed it with WH the kids and I for Easter/Confirmation).

Having a real hard time with anger today! I am supposed to provide our children with a Happy Easter tomorrow and as DS said yesterday, "Nothing feels safe or good any more."

Not only are we supposed to have a Happy Easter, but tomorrow is the last day our pastor will be at our church. I am feeling abandoned once again and the safety is completely gone in my life. I love my WH and want this all to be over. I know that it takes time and am really just using this site in order to rant and rave right now because I am struggling to do the best for my children.

The only comfort I have is knowing that WH will be at work tomorrow and not with OW and her family.

OK, maybe I can feel a little better now and get everything ready for my kids Easter tomorrow. Finally, about midnight last night was actually able to by something for them. It was a very hard thing to do knowing that I was going to have to do it alone. I am feeling so alone right now.

You should feel alone because your dumb hubby has temporarily abandoned ship.

Glad you managed to get your kids something for Easter, and you can let them know that Easter is when we celebrate Jesus and what He did for us. Hope you have a wonderful Easter with your kids.

Well, I think the kids had an OK Easter today. Went to our Pastor's final service today. It was awful and hard. I need to write him a letter about how important a person he has been in my life, but it is really hard for me because I am now losing the second most important person to me (outside my kids). The first walked our home almost 3 months ago.

I had a hard time today. I did not know that my cousin was bringing her new boyfriend to Easter dinner at my grandmother's today. Watching them, I saw my husband and I in them. Watching them and their innocent love was hard on me.

WH was at home picking up his mowing stuff when we got back home. For the first time, he came to the door when he was ready to leave and told me goodbye (by name) and that he would be back later. He hasn't used my name in the months since he left and a few times he has actually left without telling me goodbye. He called later on and did not want to bring his trailer back to the house because it was full of lawn stuff and with the warm weather, he hated to have us deal with the smell. He actually talked to me for several minutes before asking if DD wanted to talk. She, of course, did not want to talk again tonight. It has been several days since she has been willing to talk on the phone with him.

He said that he should be able to come by tomorrow evening and "do something" with the kids. What that means is he will take them out and do something fun with them. He will look like the good guy because he did something fun with them, bring them back home and I get to be the b**** that has to tell them to clean their room, pick up stuff, etc. (A little Rant because I get tired of being the bad guy. I want to be able to only do fun stuff with them and not have to be the bossy pain in the butt!!) All I want to do is cry all the time.

Can't sleep right now and don't know when I will be able to tonight. It is way too hard right now to actually have this time off from school and work. I need to be very productive with getting spring cleaning done on the house and catch up on my homework that I have for school along with planning my lessons for the first week when I come back from Spring Break.

Oh PFM2, I understand about having to be the bad guy all of the time. But you know what? In the end, they will be grateful for it. I honestly believe that.

So where are you coming along on the snooping front? Any new details on OW?

My mom is on her rotation at the hospital (working overnights, but gets off her rotation soon). As soon as she gets off her rotation and WH will be over in the evening to see the kids (which is likely with him starting to be more active in the yard work stuff) she is going to follow him back to where he is staying. It should happen by the end of this week or the beginning of next week.

The nice thing is, with DS showing me where the complex was as we drove by one day, I will know if his living arrangements have changed. I don't know that they have, but he admitted in an email that he is "not able to see 'her' as much any more since working the PT job along with the yard business starting to build up". Initial reaction, "Aww, so sorry that you can't see her much any more", but was good enough to not actually share this reaction with him. I pretty much just did not acknowledge that statement.

Well, I don't know how you didn't respond back, "GOOD."

What will you do with the info that you may gain from your mom's super sleuthing skills?

I am sure there were teeth indentations in my tongue. It took all my will power to not do that or say something else snotty or sarcastic.

If my mom is able to find where he is staying, I am going to try and use her address and find out who she is to get as much information about her to expose on her side.