Ok. So group consensus- liar, liar pants ( not ants) on fire.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Very good point!

Ridic --

Your thread is hilarious!

Yes -- liar, liar.

He thinks he is quite clever and is going to get your permission to go try things out with OW.

What he doesn't understand is that he is a big boy. And he never needed your permission. If he wanted OW so badly -- hmmm...I guess he could have divorced you and gone after her.

But what is he actually DOING? whining.

Your husband is a toddler. Throwing a terrible 2 tantrum.
I think a time-out (leave the house) is exactly what needs to happen.

There is no good reason for you to listen to his whining.

I may need to print this out and get this tattooed on my hand. I struggle a little with this. I am a logical person. This level of illogic makes my brain itchy.

Remember when the kids were little, and they had a tantrum.
Paying attention to them, makes the tantrum worth their time.
They up the ante when you first ignore them.
But, without your attention, the tantrum extinguishes all the sooner.

In 2 weeks, once the meds kick in, this will change.
But until then, he's a big baby kicking and screaming on the floor.

In fact, next time he says something stupid, put this mental picture of WH in your brain ...

HIM wearing a droopy diaper sucking his thumb and whining.

Lexxy-

You're right. I have to fight the urge to tell him that contrary to his whining, he will, in fact, get over this, and his life, is not, in fact ruined. And that normal people do not spend the rest of their lives in the fetal position in the corner over their affair partner who has a restraining order out against him.

But that doesn't do any good at all right now.

So, I will bite my tongue bloody and become a human hand tied fishing lure when I am in his presence. Sparkly and fluffy and ignoring the crazy talk.

The diaper is absolutely huge. Because he is the biggest baby ever.

LOL -- too funny!

Love the mental image of him sucking his thumb with a droopy diaper!

Ridic -- instead of trying to fight your urges and getting annoyed, just giggle at him (inside your head, of course).
Just hear wah..wah..wah. Who cares what he has to say, really?
Its all so very ridiculous.

Quick WS perspective here...really dont react to his lies or try to show him he is a dumb@ss liar...cause he BELIEVES his lies.

For every one lie he tells you...he his telling himself three or four lies in his head to support the one lie he tells you...because at one point he was a funtioning resonable male adult with a brain that worked.. He is lieing to himself building up a basis for what he says.

And a person who is that deluded and lost just deserves pitty really. When he is talking picutre the craziest weirdo fanatic you can picture...you know the type...they talk about when they were abducted and were probed by aliens and how the space ship came out of the sky and picked them up...

My favorite weird comment out of no where
"Did you know that isolated protypes of a crosssection of societal behavior patterns indicate the generational trends begin in the primary stages of adolesence?"

I had to memorize that line for a play in junior high where I played a brainy kid and it has served me well low these many years as the perfect HUH statement...

Now I was quickly defogged by the OM and his friends raping me. I dont advocate this but if your WS violates the restraining order then the OW has him put in jail...well that might be what he needs. a WAKE UP DUMBY...you are SERIOUSLY screwing up your life smack on the head.

WS spouse out - like I said I normally keep to the in recovery thread but your thread ...I hate to see you struggeling like this. and you do have great great great help!

We had 12+ inches of snow in Denver last night. It was a 2-hour shoveling job to get out of the subdivision. I finally made it to work and nobody is here.

Now this:


That's one of the dumbest craptacular pantloads I ever heard. This guy is running for King of the Village Idiots.

Really? The therapist is advocating adultery? I don�t think a licensed therapist would go there. Talk about twisting words!

Are you sure the therapist even knew of the adultery before he met with he/she? If not WH may never have brought it up.

We have those threads around here where we howl at the dumbest Fogenese our waywards ever made but your WH really has a shot for the gold.

Now I am going to count to three and snap my fingers. You will then awaken as a crack addict. Also whenever anyone offers you pasta you will drop to all fours and bark at the moon.

(And it turns out WH is Nostradamus)


(All hail Nostradamus! King of the Village Idiots!)


This guy wants Craig Ferguson�s job!




I loved this line. You may not have noticed it but I appreciate humor while under fire. I think you have what it takes to make it one way or the other Ridic.

Well Rid, I am glad that some awesome people were on here to help you through that minor ugly patch. Those things that your WH said were humourous to say the least. I had a few LOL moments. I am sure this isn't the worst things ever said but WOW.

You are doing GREAT. Keep it up. All I am picturing now is you serving cooked ants on pasta, with urine in a glass to a man child in a diaper sucking his thumb.

Maybe not a bad plan.



Dear Crack Ho OW,

My darling husband has come crawling to me to ask my permission for him to speak to you. Apparently he will be able to get up of the floor and act like a big boy again if I do this. After some consideration and the need to vacuum the corner he is in (damn, there is a big drool spot too) I have agreed under the following conditions. You will only be allowed to use the following words and phrases in either spoken or written form.

The approved words and phrases:


You
Lop-eared
Dumb
Pile of
Lying
Again
[censored]
Hell
To see
Idiotic
Bug eating
Behind Bars
Member
Cops
Lying [censored]
Thumb-sucking
Deceiving
Want to
Crack addict
Call the
Straight to
Your
Son of a
Feces encrusted
Bag of
Selfish
Fetal position
B@stard
Restraining Order
I never
Pus dripping
You can

:End of allowed words.

I hope this allows the two of you to have a constructive conversation. I look forward to my husband standing up like a real man again soon.

Love and kisses you diseased tart,

Ridic

Do you really want him after all this? Would you ever truly be able to forget? Don't you deserve better? I think you do.
You have tried everything you could and then some. He is doing this cause he can.
You told him to get out that day, did he? If not, what was the reason? If he gave you some sort of excuse and you let him stay, to him, that means your not serious. We all know you are but this guy is way past delusional. He justifies everything. After awhile, your posts made me fear for your safety. You might think he isn't the type to do that but was he the type to do this?
If you could fix it all right now, could you get past this? I wonder if even the two of you worked through it, if he would ever get past it. If he would continue to use this to bully you and clobber you over the head with anytime he doesn't get what he wants. He is even delusional about what the psychiatrist tells him. I am sure this person tells him one thing but he puts the words he wants to hear in their mouths.

Chrisner? You speak my language. That's pretty much all I could think of to write. It would go along those lines.

Rainbowmom-

I don't seem serious? Huh. I thought I've taken huge steps to show him that I'm serious. And I thought me being serious is partof what's driving this crisis.

I've gotten feedback on here that shows me that although this is painful and horrible, that this is not completely unexpected.

I've never feared for my safety, or my children's safety, not even for a minute.

I amnot making excuses for him, but he is clearly a depressive person, and has been untreated for a long time. He used the OW as a salve, but it fell apart, and now he's cracking, and he's cracking because there's a heckuva lot more pathology there than just the end of an affair.

Will it work in the end?

I have no idea. But I believe my husband is still in there, somewhere, and I'm still willing to fight and see if he can come back out.

Mmm. Dinnertime?

LOL!

Rainbow mom

He's not himself. He absolutely has a chance to redeem himself and cringe with shame and humilitation every time he remembers how he treated Ridic after they're firmly in recovery.

I have to say, Ridic, that even though I know your situation is very hard and very serious, I'm impressed with how you're handling it, and that you can see the humor. And you've given our resident comedians ample ammunition!

You don't have to decide if you want him now or not. You just have to get through this however that is, see how things progress. You hold the power, this situation is yours to do with what you want. I admire your composure, strength and fortitude while taking care of the biggest whiney, foolish and ridiculous idiot.

Keep your chin up, keep moving forward, and remember remember remember to take care of yourself!!!!!

You took everything I said the aboslute wrong way. Since I have been married, never have my words been twisted more but I never meant any negative by them. The way he is acting, being so emotionally abusive and just rubbing your face in his affair is terrible and you deserve more. To tell his wife that this other woman is the 'be all, end all' is just wrong. What about your feelings? What about your emotions?

Hmmm, never doing this again.