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rainbowmomof2,
Just so you know, OW really is like crack to RS's WH. He is going through a major detox right now and begging for more crack.
She is trying to give him a chance to see what will happen once he gets through WD....I think she is aware she needs to have boundaries and limitations with his behavior. I don't think anyone is trying to twist what you said, but we need to support RS right now. OK?
RS, my sister's H was deeply entrenched in his A and really behaved shockingly bad following exposure and during WD. Once he got through it he really did make a turn around. I will ask her to drop by your thread. Hang in there!
Last edited by SusieQ; 03/25/10 12:12 PM.
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Rainbow mom, chillax!  All I meant was that I think she should wait and see after the stupidness wears off- just like SusieQ said. I'm glad my BH didnt' just give up on me when I was spewing idiocies. Of course, I was no where as idiotic as ridic's WH, just wanted that on record. 
I'm the FWW
EA 2/06-3/06
NC 3/06
BH still not sure
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G-mornin' Ridic
How are the kids doing?
How are you doing?
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I'm doing okay. The kids are okay.
I went shopping most of today, keeping busy.
He told me he is planning one emailing her today, to get "closure". This following the letter, which gained him no response from her. He texted me that he is aware he could end up in jail.
So? Am ignoring, going dark. He's texted me about 30 times today.
I'm very busy and important today. I don't have anything to say to him. And that's my plan for today.
Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
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He told me he is planning one emailing her today, to get "closure".
Do it right away.
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I'm very busy and important today. I don't have anything to say to him. And that's my plan for today.
Do not respond.
Continue to expose.
He will be arrested.
Stand as far back as possible.I am SO SORRY.
Come here when you want to spew cooked red ants at him.
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A letter yesterday.
An email today.
A phone call tomorrow.
Then, he shows up.
I will not be surprised to learn he's been following her.
AKA stalking.
OW has a LOT to be afraid of.
He's more of a threat to her.
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If WH gets arrested, BE SURE that YOU tell the police he needs to be on suicide watch.
He's expressed "suicidal ideations."
That way, he might find himself where he most needs to be ... a psychiatric in-patient facility on a 72 hour hold.
THIS is CALIFORNIA law. Look up 72 hour hold in your state. A. 72-HOUR HOLD
California law allows police (and certain other designated mental health professionals) to take you into custody if they believe that, due to a mental disorder, you are:
1. A danger to yourself, and/or 2. A danger to others, and/or 3. Gravely disabled. (Grave disability is defined as: �a condition in which a
person, as a result of a mental disorder, is unable to provide for his or her basic personal needs for food, clothing or shelter.�)
At that time, the person taking you into custody must take reasonable pre- cautions to safeguard your property. Also, he or she must advise you that this is not a criminal arrest, and allow you to gather some personal things to bring with you, and allow you to make a phone call.
Under this law, you are taken to a psychiatric hospital. There, the profes- sional staff may detain you for up to 72 hours if they, too, find that you meet the above criteria (danger to self, danger to others, and/or grave disability due to a mental disorder.)
You must be given written notice of why you are being held. While you are being detained for up to 72 hours, the hospital must evaluate you. This evalu- ation consists of a multidisciplinary analysis of your medical, psychological, educational, social, financial and legal situation.
A similar law allows the police (or designated others) to take you into cus- tody if they think you meet the above criteria due to chronic alcoholism.
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I'm doing okay. The kids are okay.
I went shopping most of today, keeping busy.
He told me he is planning one emailing her today, to get "closure". This following the letter, which gained him no response from her. He texted me that he is aware he could end up in jail.
So? Am ignoring, going dark. He's texted me about 30 times today.
I'm very busy and important today. I don't have anything to say to him. And that's my plan for today. This is just getting ridiculous. If I were there I'd slap him in the face and tell him to get a f*ing grip.  Okay. Stop. Sorry, rid, that's not helping you. You need to report this contact to her father. Sounds like WH needs some tough love.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Way to go Ridic. I know what your poster name means but all I could think of while reading your thread was Riddick, the Vin Diesel character that kicked everyone's butt.  You are doing great.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Yeah...nothing like CLOSURE  Seriously -- what does he do for a living? Doesn't he work? How does he have time to send you 30 texts, and compose JUST the right email to OW for CLOSURE? What is your boundry Rid? Its OK to go to Plan B any ol time you want. We'll help you get ready. You aren't required to watch him hit rock bottom. He is free to do that all on his own. You can seperate yourself from his dramafest whenever your Plan tells you that you are ready.
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He texted me that he is aware he could end up in jail. But it's all in the name of LUUUUUURV! I think Ernest T Bass got locked up a few times for stalking Charlene Darling too.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Yeah...nothing like CLOSURE I would think a restraining order is closure enough. Wayzilla and Gollum tried closure a couple times I think. It didn't take. Their naughty bits kept getting in the way.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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What is your boundry Rid?
Its OK to go to Plan B any ol time you want.
We'll help you get ready.
You aren't required to watch him hit rock bottom. He is free to do that all on his own. You can seperate yourself from his dramafest whenever your Plan tells you that you are ready. Agreed. Have you let him know that contact of any type (closure or not) is a dealbreaker for you?
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My view ~~~> how Plan B is most likely to commence ... starts with either an arrest, or a 72 hour hold.
IMO, this changes the Plan B slightly.
Just waiting to see ....
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Yup, back in my pre-MB days, when my DH was looking for closure and after he had his "closure" visit, I found out that he continued to follow her, call her, have flowers delivered to her door, etc. He was SOOOO lucky he didn't get arrested. Instead, I get a VM from her BFF warning my DH to stay away. The humilation was enough for him.
Had I known about MB, at his FIRST suggestion of a closure face-to-face meeting, I would have shown him the door, handed him a Plan B letter, and told him to have a nice life.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Okay- you guys are the best. Just opening this and seeing the support and faith is making me feel like I can get through this. I cannot thank you enough for that. **end mush**
I warned dad about email. He and OW looked at it, OW immediately mailed WH with "Do not ever contact me again, in any way."
Then dad said "Strike two. Next stop- District Attorney's office. Never contact my daughter or any member of our family again".
WH melted down. Came to the house. I met him in the garage, so he wouldn't come in and disturb the kids. He blamed me for ruining his life, and making her hate him. He said if he had been able to tell her the trth about who he was, she would have stayed with him, and loved him forever. But I ruined that with exposure.
He told me he would have picked her over me. He would have left us all and stayed with her forever, but I took that away from him.
Then he started to cry and told me he loved me and he wanted to be with me, but I ruined everything. Then he said he still wanted to try with me, he just didn't know how because I ruined his life.
At this point, my dad came out and asked him to leave. And he did.
I woke up to 40 text messages, in varying degrees of insanity.
Have not replied to any.
It? Was a bad day yesterday.
Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
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Lexxy- he owns his own company. He has a lot of managers running the individual sites.
He's a very smart person, and his job isn't particularly challenging. I think it's a factor in all of this, on some level.
Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
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Wow, the guy is sure insistent. You are doing wonderfully well.
Personally I wouldn't even read the text messages. He is lucky you are even considering making the marriage work. One day he will thank you for sticking this out and will be mortified by his behavior.
Just keep thinking of him as a crack addict - he wants his CRACK!!!!!! And he is not going to appreciate anyone interfering with his addiction.
Let's hope that he won't end up in jail, but that's what it might take.
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