I need to just delete and not read them. That's a very good idea.

There was a funny one, in there, though. Apparently? He doesn't like the paint colors I picked for our kitchen.

I am not kidding.

No, of course he didn't, and it's also your fault that those paint colours were ever manufactured in the first place.

I wonder if he will like the color the inside of the jail is painted?

Ridic, let him be for awhile. If you are concerned for his safety, you can call his family to let them know what is going on. The best thing you can do it let him hit bottom...sooner rather than later. Don't get swept up by emotion of trying to fix him. You can still offer comfort to him but not in the way that will keep him wayward.

Hi there, Ridic. SusieQ asked me to look in on your thread. I just read through about 20 pages. Wow. Sounds like you're doing fantastic, did a great exposure and all. I don't know if I can say much that is going to help you, you're getting lots of great advice here.

But I can tell you that my WH went crazy after exposure, said and did lots of insane things. But after a few weeks into WD, he told me that he was glad that I did what I did because he wouldn't have been able to break free on his own.

He has also said he felt so much better without OW in his life, and he said he wasn't himself during that time. When I asked him about the time after exposure when he damaged our stuff (ripped one door off a kitchen cabinet, some drums), he admitted he did it at the time to scare me so he could be allowed to continue his A. Fortunately I didn't fall for it - I simply told him I would call the police if he did it again - and I continued to keep the bar high in order for him to stay in the house, in spite of all his verbal/emotional abuse, the constant texting, etc. He looks back now and he's appalled by what he said and did. He cannot believe it.

I say this so you can keep hope that your H will return someday soon. It's possible he may have to hit rock bottom first, but he will come back.

You are doing great. Good luck!

Ridic --

I just LOVE your sense of humor!

I just have to ask -- what color IS the kitchen??

It's a tuscan burnt orange with two walls of deep red for contrast.

Everyone else who sees it loves it.

but clearly..... LOL!

Moving Forward-

I cannot tell you how much reading what you just wrote helps me. It does. Thank you so much. It gives me hope that he's in there somewhere.

Black Raven-

That's my plan. More space from me, rejection from her- hopefully brings the bottom of the cliff up to his face, and fast.

He likes white walls apparently. And maybe white jackets? :0

Saw this in one of the affair articles here -

"The problem that R.J. may soon face is that his wife's cheerful attitude will wear thin. There's no telling how much longer she can try to please him without an approving response from him. Sometimes I tell spouses to just avoid each other until the withdrawal stage passes because all the effort to be kind and thoughtful is easily wasted until they start feeling better."

Be prepared to get somewhat discouraged with hubby's craziness. Hope you are taking great care of your needs and doing special things for yourself.

See, I knew if I waited long enough my 1970's orange shag carpet in the family room would come back in style.

I am going to call it Tuscan Burnt Orange from now on. In fact there are some burns on it. (Not from ant fires)

See, this right here, your ability to think on your feet is why we all have such faith in your ability to do the right thing.



Of course you ruined his life ! That was your plan from the start. Wasn't it?



.... because YOU have that power over other people's emotions.
(HINT: subliminal message ~~~> YOU are powerful while WH and OW are very weak)



If ONLY he had not lied to her ! And, it's your fault he lied to her.




GAWD, this MB crowd is tough. We just push and push for exposure ... for no good reason whatsoever.



.... because you are in control of everything ... all the time. Always was.



Ridic, you forgot this


... if you hadn't ruined everything he'd be with OW who would love him forever ... but he would still be with you because he wants to be with you, except when he wants to be with her, when you ruined everything, is when he did but did not want to be with you because he wanted to be with her but you ruined everything.
Understand now?



Quite frankly, he's lucky you let him live ... alas, that is another thread for another day ... WHERE is Chrisner's wood chipper anyway?



Every woman needs a HERO !


Thank the Lord!








It was exhausting, I'm sure. However, the outcome was excellent !
He's falling (he needs to) and you're not falling (you chose to rise above).


WELL DONE YOU !

"... if you hadn't ruined everything he's be with OW who would love him forever ... but he would still be with you because he wants to be with you, except when he wants to be with her, when you ruined everything, is when he did but did not want to be with you because he wanted to be with her but you ruined everything.
Understand now?"

Pep, you explained it PERFECTLY. You ought to go into speech writing.

"... if you hadn't ruined everything he's be with OW who would love him forever ... but he would still be with you because he wants to be with you, except when he wants to be with her, when you ruined everything, is when he did but did not want to be with you because he wanted to be with her but you ruined everything."


Did you write the health reform bill?

TM #26: Tuscan Burnt Orange ruined my Li-Li-Li-f-f-f-f-f-e-e-eeeeee�.sniff

I am super mighty and powerful, Pepper! I can control other people's thoughts- even people I've never met before! Woot!!!!

The whole thing is so ridiculous. In some ways, it was very, very hard not to laugh.

And your explanation of what he meant?

I am pretty sure that's exactly what he meant. You just said it prettier.

I am a Diet Dr. Pepper type of girl. Woe is me.