Ok, been separated 4 months. We started trying to work things out a month after she moved out. (Affair on my part) That lasted about a month's worth of roller coaster rides, then she reached the pissed off stage, closed off said it was over. That lasted a little over a month. She came back around a week and a half ago, starting really talking to me again, and we went on a 4 day vacation to the beach. Had an awesome time...things were great, but she expected to just fall back in love in 4 days and be ok with everything, and that just didn't happen for her. We've still been talking and being around each other on a daily basis since the trip. We're back on the roller coaster big time several times a day. She's still talking about our future, etc. even when she's not feeling it. Here's the thing. She HAS to either sign another lease or turn in her 60 day notice, and move back in with me. A big turn around has happened in the past week and a half, another lease would mean 8 more months, and we've only been apart 4. She has no clue what to do and doesn't want to have to make the decision right now, but has to. The main thing she is afraid of is that her feelings for me won't come back like they need to. She was really frustrated last night with the whole thing, but then called me in the middle of the night to say she would move back in for a trial week, and then make her decision.
I made the mistake of telling her last year that I thought all we had was sex, and the fun stuff wasn't there. So now she's cut the sex off again after the trip to the beach, and doesn't want to (I don't think) during the week she is here.
To make sure that's not all we have. Even though it's pretty obvious that it's not since we separated. We've been having the time of our lives when we go out, which we never did before. Our relationship has really changed, and she likes it but she is scared. She wants to move back in and feel normal, but how can we be normal if we are not being intimate?
I don't want to make this into a big deal, but I'm scared and insecure as well, and when we are intimate is the only time I really feel like she really wants me and everythings ok.
How can it be a normal trial week if she's not comfortable with our intimacy? (She sure seemed to be on the beach) She said sleeping together, showering together etc on vacation maybe scared her??
WTF do I do?
