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OP
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In my opinion our big problem is that he doesn't fulfill my EN and always tell me I am lucky to be with him b/c he's so great etc. Meanwhile when I try to talk to him about the way I feel he doesn't want to hear it unless I'm telling him how wonderful he is. I've been told he seems to be a narcissist but since he refuses any therapy no one can really say they just go by what I say. It's like he's 2 different people. Sometimes he's happy and shows me how much he loves me and loves to be around me like the beginning, other times he is moody and doesn't want to be bothered. The greatest quality about him is he is an awesome Dad! I have no complaints there. But I don't want my daughter to see Mommy and Daddy fighting, its so unhealthy and can scar her for life.
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Thank Pepperband, I'm currently reading.
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OP
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Is it possible to fall in love again? After all the negative things that you pray doesn't happen does?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Is it possible to fall in love again? After all the negative things that you pray doesn't happen does?
Your questions let all of us know you've not read/understood the BASIC CONCEPTS.
You have a plethora of information at your fingertips.
Use it.
We cannot help you if you don't educate yourself about MB basic concepts.
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Joined: Oct 2000
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There is a reason this is at the TOP of every forum page: Welcome to the
Marriage Builders� Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Here you will find what you need as it relates to the Marriage Builders� principles that can be found in the Basic Concepts, Articles, and Q&A Columns of the Marriage Builders web site. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders� Bookstore.
You are welcome to look around and read about discussions that are similar to your situation or discussions that are just interesting. As you will find, the individual forums below are open to the public for reading.
If you would like to post a question of your own or start a discussion, click on the "Register User" link below to begin the membership process. There is no fee for joining. However, you will become a member of a community. And with that membership you will be held responsible and accountable for following the community's Rules & Guidelines and Codes of Conduct. They are very straightforward and are required in order to keep a safe and supportive community.
One of the most important requirements for becoming a member is that you read all of Dr. Harley's Ten Basic Concepts. Click the tab "Basic Concepts" above on the header to find them. The purpose of this Forum is to help couples use those Basic Concepts to overcome marital conflicts and restore romantic love.
Many of our members have been in shoes similar if not the same as yours. They begin by asking questions and, with the help of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts, other members point them in a direction that will solve their problem. After their problem is solved, they often stay on to help new members with their own experience, perspective, and opinion.
Sometimes you may hear alternative opinions that conflict with Dr. Harley's Ten Basic Concepts. These are often raised by those who have not solved their own marital problems, but still feel they are qualified to advise others. When this happens you can expect some members to explain why their approach won't work, and why Marriage Builders� offers a better solution. There are many who are offended when that happens, but please keep in mind that the ultimate purpose of this Forum is to discuss and learn Marriage Builders� concepts.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Counseling Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders� Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail JustUss at JustUss2@aol.com
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I'm reading, I just had to stop when I read that and comment on it.
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Ok I just finished reading all 10 concepts. I wish I would have found this a long time ago. Especially #'s 7, 8 and 9.
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Joined: Oct 2009
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Don't stop there. That is only the BEGINNING. You need to read ALL of the relevant info on this site. Click through all of the most popular links on the right hand side of the page. Read all of the articles that you can find. Read other people's threads. You may be surprised to see similar sitch as yours.
Keep reading and when you have questions AFTER you have read what you can, post.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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This is a question that only you can answer. Sounds like to me you can't stand the heat so you want to get out of the kitchen. Why give up so quick? Affairs take time to get over, some people never get over them. You can't expect him to be over it in a week or two. You can't act like a spoiled child who doesn't get there way so they want to pout and have a temper tamprum. Give the man some time, if you love him and he loves you, IF it were me (and it is me, I am the BS) I WOULD FIGHT until I have no fight left.
"Never get in a bed if your name isn't written on it"
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Thanks Scotland. 26years you are absolutely right. Now I just fear he is moving on and dating. I hate thinking too much.
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Joined: Jan 2010
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He maybe dating, but if there is no wedding date, then you still have a chance. As long as there is life there is hope.
"Never get in a bed if your name isn't written on it"
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I don't have much of an opinion because all of this is new to me as well, (I am the BS) but did you complete the emotional needs survey?
Me: BS 30
WH: 32
Married: 4 Yrs
Together: 14 Yrs
Dday: May 2009
FR: MANY
A: Online EA turned PA January 2009 and again May 2009
FRMLY: Hopeful30
To all WS: "Sometimes we miss happiness by looking too far for things nearby."
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But I don't want my daughter to see Mommy and Daddy fighting, its so unhealthy and can scar her for life. You think a D won't scar her? Think again. And keep reading everything on this site. Your posts so far sound like posts from someone who is rewriting their marital history and justifying their A.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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