And I believe it.

Jessi - go read

Larry

and I believe him.

Wow. That's a new one for me.

I know that FDI uses language like "the wise insights God gave Dr. Harley to practically apply the Golden Rule to marriages." http://www.familydynamics.net/whatdowomenwant.htm That's a slightly weaker claim, and fine for me.

Looking for stories on how your WS ended it and if there were any difficulties after and if so what did you do and how long did it last.
Do they usually just accept and move on?

My WW met her other man when she was out at the bars "with her friends". It turned into a 6-month fling with occasional meetings, usually when she was "going out with friends", and possibly other times when she would invent reasons to leave the house. Other times it was just a lot of text messages and phone calls.

The morning I found out (checked her cell phone messages after she came home at 4:00 A.M.), it turns out that they had a little spat at the bar where I believe she was cramping his style. It was a little over a week later that I exposed and called the OM. He basically said that WW was not his type, too old for him, and had been pestering him a lot. I don't know how much of that to believe. He agreed to cut it off with her and did as soon as we hung up.

My WW went about a week with no contact, then started texting and calling again. I ended up busting her meeting at his house one morning while I was at work. She claims it was for "closure" and so they could part as friends. That was nearly a month ago. I've seen a touch of squirrely behavior since then, but haven't found any contact.

I'd like nothing more than to believe he had tired of her and she was cramping his style, especially with me calling him, so he ended it.

Or she could just be deep undergound. I'm not 100% convinced that this isn't the case, yet.

My FWH wrote the OW an email and said it was over. I did not read it, which was possibly my mistake, but I know he did not lead her on. They ended up talking for an hour before his phone died, which I DON'T recommend the WS doing btw, but I didn't get the NC rule in place fast enough. I ease-dropped on their conversation and he was indeed telling her it was over. She just wasn't getting the clue, but she's young and dumb, so I'll forgive her that.

The OW did NOT take it lightly.... 50 phone calls, 14 emails, and a text message the first day after his phone died, then about 10 emails the second with a few phone calls that were ignored, and a couple the third and fourth day along with a few more phone calls. It's finally tapered off since I emailed her and told her to knock it off. She didn't like that one much, apparently had a breakdown, as we found out from a voicemail from a friend of hers. We haven't heard from her since.

Eventually the OW will accept it I think, especially as long as WS keeps to the NC rule. My H has done great with the NC. The OW will eventually get it. Won't like it, but oh well, too bad so sad. Don't get involved with someone who's married!

... sorry, I'm a bit unsympathetic at my FWH's OW....

My WW found 2 OM on World of Warcraft. The first time I just asked her for no contact, but she interpreted it as no more sexting. The relationship lasted about one more month before she agreed to completly cut it off.

Instead of taking precautions to affair proof her marriage she began to talk to a male friend about her loss, and started a new, more intimate affair.

This time we both went to a marriage counselor, but she refused all counsel because she was in an affair. The MC basically said I can't help you if you are in an affair.

I then found MB and did a nuclear exposure a couple weeks later. she went ballistic saying you ruined everything, our marriage is over, I don't love you....etc.

The next day she flew to Colorado to spend time with her sister, but her sister took away her phone, computer usage, gave her a couple religious books to read, and marital books to read. My WW somehow quickly had a change of heart, she missed me, and decided that an affair wasn't worth her kids and 8 years of a good marriage to a good man, and that we could work it out.

When she got home I had already dismantled her computer and turned it into a media center for the whole house, she deleted her facebook account, we unsubscribed to WoW, we put parental controls on my computer for her to use it at certain times of the day, agreed to get MC, read Dr. Harley books, and to spend at least 20 hours of UA together.

Sometimes we take a couple steps back into our old habits, but we realize them and work at our marriage again. It has been 5 weeks since exposure, and things are as good as our Honeymoon. My family and her family do not bring it up to me, even though they know everything, because they see that we are happy and working on our marriage.

The worse consequence is I miss playing my video games, but I get to retain my marriage to a wife I love. Is that really a consequence?

Errr - quickest way to defog a WW...have the OM assult her and leave her bruised and shaken - works real well..ask me...I know. NC not an issue - unless you count the fact I would happly drop him with my 223 if ever I got him in my sights...just saying.

Wow, Wheels! That is one of the best testimonials I have read here! Means a lot to me since I got to watch you go through a lot of this here just recently. I am glad to hear you say things are going so great, and I look forward to continuing to hear you speak of increasing marital happiness over the years.

Well, there's FWW's version, and what I expect is the real version of how it ended. In the real version, I think the OM simply got tired of using my FWW as a standby vagina with its own life-support. The A was ending by the time my FWW confessed to me, hoping that I'd opt for D, leaving her free to pursue the OM. I opted instead to try recovering our M. She had one last "closure meeting" with the OM, worked with him for a few months while he flaunted another OW in front of her before quitting her job, and that was that. Well, at least as far as I know. She is quite good at hiding things from me, so who really knows...

My h ended it when he took his head out of his [censored] and decided he wanted his marriage. (Basically when i went to Plan B even though i did not know that is what it was at that time)

She did not take it well and continued to persue him until he had to go to his HR department and file "sexual harrassment" against her. Then she still tried contacting him for a while after that.

okay this.
my husband had an affair, we have talked non stop since then, he is showing regret and admits that it wasn't worth losing me or his family over....
I have agreed to some thearapy sessions and I have agreed to giving our marriage another shot.
For the most it is great so far, he is being the best husband he has ever been. We are getting along great.
There is only one catch, he has ended it with the OW weeks ago. He told her there was no hope for her and him and that he loved me and that we were again husband and wife in every way and that he was very happy and grateful that I have given him another opportunity to show me what kind of man he can be for his family.
The thing is she is calling at night when she is drunk and telling him to "F**K Off" or calling and not saying anything, we know it's her, call display.....
I have been answering the phone and I have asked her to leave us alone and respect our marriage.....
How long is this going to last? Anyone else have a nut case on their hands.......open to any suggestions on how to deal with her without involving the law.
I just want to work on my marriage which is difficult after an affair as it is, sometimes I don't think this whole mess will ever be over and we can actually breathe easy.......
I'm trying to be supportive of my husband's feelings, he is feeling guilt but is not answering her or corresponding to her, he knows that will only stop her from moving on.........
He is still feeling the effects of the affair in the business world hearing lots of stories about the affair and what kind of man people think he is.....
Yesterday was a bad day.....

First, JT, could you please stick to one thread. There are a lot of people on here and we can't always remember who is at what point in their journey. All of your relevant info and the advice you have already been given is on the other thread.

Now, as far as your sitch, BLOCK HER NUMBER. NC means NC. That includes you. Every time OW calls you and you answer the phone and then discuss this with WH, gives him a tiny "hit". He knows that she is still thinking about him. She may actually cause him to feel so much guilt that he will get back into the A. How do you know that there is NC?

I'd just change my phone number. That is the first step.

Could you please hit the notify button and ask the mods to combine your threads? That way we will all know your whole story and be able to help you.

thanks Scotland,
I have notified the mods to combine my threads.....makes sense.....
I guess you are right, no contact means me as well.....
We have talked his guilt to death and he feels bad because he was the pursuer in that relationship but he said he won't ever act on it in any way, he totally understands what he needs to do. He knows that would end any shot he had at making our relationship work and keeping his family together... She doesn't seem to want to let go......We will try just not answering her calls and we have already blocked our cell phones from her #.
I guess if we have to we could call her father and ask him to speak to her about respecting our marriage see if he has an influence over her.
Or we can hope she stops drinking........haha!!!

Can you have the phone number blocked like scotty said by the phone company?

She will have to process what she percieves as being abandoned and every time she makes that connection by calling you guys it just prolongs the process emotionally for her. Of course the drinking will also do the same.

Has the affair been exposed publicly? Do you have support from the father?

If she is receptive of the fathers influence then maybe it would help her but that would be you reaching out to her life which means you were breaking No contact rule yourself. I wouldn't think that was a good idea. You would be inserting yourself into her personal life. But if he is on the side of doing what is right for his daughter and helping her start thinking straight it could be an option.

His involvment would have to be in the spirit of what is right for everyone involved and not percieved as him taking sides of course