|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
A little spoon feeding of MB concepts by a loving wife never hurt any husband.
THIS is exactly how I got my husband to participate in MB concepts.
He never has read the forum, the site, or any Harley books.
But, he's all onboard with anything that helps me feel "emotionally connected"
Oh my goodness, Pep! Your spoonfeeding is EXACTLY how we have done MB at our house. I always wondered if we might have R more, better, faster if DH was on board but so far so good.
End of TJ
God's Blessings,
Say
We were sharing our knowledge as we learned.
It is/was/will be good ... at least for us.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Say, it would have been my preference for H to be part of the MB family directly.
But, he is daily involved with his AA family ... and this "proxy" method is just the way it worked, for us.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449 |
Good timing on this post for me. I have been frustrated with my H for not following through on his assignment given to him by SH. Every time we talk about it, he's like, oh yeah, I need to remember to do that! but then he forgets again.
I have been waivering between whether I should just set the next appt and lovingly remind him it needs to be done by then or just wait and see if he can do it on his own. I am getting irritated tho...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
This thread was begun because I started talking about "spoon feeding" on
THIS thread
... and Saynomore commented on my sig line ... on a completely different thread.
So, here we are.
I just know I will get slack for "spoon feeding" an adult male.
However, I would like to point out that we are happily married.
So, it worked, for us !
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895 |
Pep, My DH has always used the phrase, "I can't fully embrace that," about many things. It makes me want to throw small heavy objects at him but I am currently rereading Lovebusters so he is safe for now. We went to a Weekend to Remember when I began to feel the distance between us and unbeknownst to me he was "talking" to OW at work and meeting her for coffee one morning a week. He said it was interesting but.... He read SAA about seven months into NC and... We filled out the EN questionaires almost one year past D-Day and it was the most half hynied effort you have ever seen. No written sords just the scale and he said.... I decided that I was sick and tired of trying to get him to embrace anything but me and I vowed to use MB to change myself and my M and not worry about him following the concepts as long as he was being contrite, loving, giving and as O&H as his guarded personality allows him to be. He was all of that and within weeks, he was modeling POJA and meeting my ENs. He was never too bad on AO or DJ and the O&H is a constant battle for him but other than that, it is as if he had studied the concepts because he learned to study me. I never gave anything a name or told him where exactly where it came from and I never realized until I read your spoonfed line that that is exactly how it all unfolded.  Yay MB! Yay me! God's Blessings, Say
Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
What a wonderful share, thanks Say.
It reminds me of other ways that I myself have been spoon fed.
Especially this:"I can't fully embrace that"
Boy, was I ever relieved.
It was a slow process, and I was spoon fed, but I did not spit anything out.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895 |
LOL, I admit that I have wiped a little MB away from the corners of DH's mouth but most went down.
God's Blessings,
Say
Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
This won't work if the "loving" is missing.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
This won't work if the "loving" is missing. And to continue on with the utensil analogy... using a meat tenderizer won't work either.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895 |
I have found that a barbecue fork is also not too productive.
God's Blessings,
Say
Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
I have found that a barbecue fork is also not too productive.
God's Blessings,
Say 
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146 |
A Tazer will soften em up a bit too......
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
A Tazer will soften em up a bit too......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895 |
Thinking back, it could have been the 36 hours he spent hogtied naked in the top of the kid's skyfort.  God's Blessings, Say
Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
Thinking back, it could have been the 36 hours he spent hogtied naked in the top of the kid's skyfort. God's Blessings, Say
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
849
guests, and
56
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,615
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
