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Unbelieveable it may be, I would rather WXH had gone to something like this and then asked me for a divorce rather than lying to me for a year while he cheated behind my back, only to inform me as he was already packing his bags to leave.
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luri, are you saying that your counsellor flirted with you?
Some counsellors will not have one-to-one sessions with a client of the opposite sex. Some priests won't either. They arrange for someone of the same sex to be at every session, because both they are the client are vulnerable to improper behaviour, despite stringent codes of conduct and years of training.
You should leave that counsellor and see a woman in future.
Is it something you would consider reporting to his professional body?
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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SC, yes, he was inappropriate. I told H today, and I will only be seeing a woman from now on. Sad thing is, I don't think he has a professional body. I did some searching around online and he and his dad have a ministry. He does have a counseling degree, but I don't think there is anyone to report to. It was verbal and just a couple of hand and knee "pats," so it's a gray area. But it was uncomfortable. So he's OUT.
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I'm sorry you went through this, luri, and I'm glad to hear that he's out.
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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But Tabby, didnt you know that the marriage was already over ...and that the reason that our WH's left us had NOTHING to do with the OW I mean my WH said he thought I already knew what was goin on...thats why he lied and snuck around for two years, you know to cover up the affair that I supposedly already knew about... Stupid me, my mother told me to take that mindreading class in college ...Sorry, Tab, rant over.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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But Tabby, didnt you know that the marriage was already over ...and that the reason that our WH's left us had NOTHING to do with the OW I mean my WH said he thought I already knew what was goin on...thats why he lied and snuck around for two years, you know to cover up the affair that I supposedly already knew about... Stupid me, my mother told me to take that mindreading class in college ...Sorry, Tab, rant over. OMG!!! This is awesome, stillhere!!! I've been told the same thing, that the issues we have have NOTHING to do with OW! Of course not, so why the f^$# were we maybe not fine but not to this point in our marriage vs after OW came into your life?!?! What suddenly changed.... oh wait. OW!!! dang, I needed that mindreading class too... hrm, wonder if they still offer it...
Last edited by AnnaBelleRose; 04/16/10 06:31 PM. Reason: need to learn to proofread...
AnnaBelle Rose
Me: 29 WH:31 DS: 22mths M: almost 6 years, together 7 1/2 I am not a mistake. - ABR
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RANT ABOUT POSTERS WHO PUT BEFORE THE MB FORUM ....
I have done everything wrong and now I am asking total strangers to "fix" my life which I have hopelessly screwed up
Uhhhhhhhhh, no thank you. Tell us YOUR ideas first. I'm not gonna do a lazy person's leg work for them. Read "the stuff" on MB. THINK about "the stuff" on MB. Then, think of ways to use "the stuff" on MB.
Lazy people want others to do their fixing, instead of doing it themselves. I'm tired of it.
/RANT
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rant
I am tired of people who play chicken and then cry when they get hit by a car. Don't play chicken if you aren't man enough to deal with the consequences! /rant
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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RANT RANT RANT about the people who have an affair and marry a HORRIBLE person and then try to pass them off as a good person.... they just made one little mistake, again and again and again....
Seriously if you think an unrepentant serial adulterer is really a good person who just made 'a few mistakes' ..... ugh...
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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Rant with a capital R!Daughter went to ER with double-her-over abdominal pain. She recently had an emergency appendectomy so we were concerned to say the least. Turns out she has a kidney infection that she let go too long. Doc prescribed antibiotics and pain meds. She drops off her Rx and then calls the pharmacy to asks the cost of each med. Naturally, the pain med was the least expensive. Daughter doesn't get paid for a couple of days. She goes to the pharmacy and asks for the pain med explaining she will pick up the antibiotic when she gets paid. The pharamcist calls the hospital and tells them that she is there and only wants the pain meds, doesn't WANT the antibiotic. They say no, can't get one without the other. She is appalled. She tells the pharmacist (who is surprised by her reaction) to call the hospital back and explain the TRUTH. He made it sound like she only wanted the pain meds, period. He calls back the hospital and they understand and say sure, release the pain meds. She AGAIN explains to the pharmacist she only has enough for one Rx. He ends up paying for her antibiotic out of his own pocket (out of guilt?) He told her he was questioning her only for her own good. She needed to treat the symtpom rather than mask it. Agreed... but since he is not a doctor she will rely on the doctor's advice to take both. I understand that there probably are drug abusers out there who probably do go to the ER for the sole purpose of getting pain meds but to assume just because she's young that she is one of them is wrong! She was totally embarassed and humilated by what he did in front of other customers. I told her she should file a complaint.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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he hadnled this VERY poorly. He could have dicreetly asked her why she only wanted to pain med and then discreetly checked with the hospital. The whole pharmacy didn't need to know!
My best friend is a pharmacist, and I will say that THEY get dragged through a lot of crap if they do let a drug seeker slip through the cracks. So I understand why he is careful, but he could do it in a non-embarassing way.
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he hadnled this VERY poorly. He could have dicreetly asked her why she only wanted to pain med and then discreetly checked with the hospital. The whole pharmacy didn't need to know! Exactly! And he could have worded it better to the hospital in the first place.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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RANT!Posters woh have been here longer than a few weeks, in fact who have been here months and are still staying on their own threads, refusing to look at the 1000's of great threads, articles and posts. Instead they sit there and ask us to come running to them. When there are newbies who need real help When they have been told how to find things They don't really engage anyway. Just turn up every few days and yell help! [/rant]
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Saw two of my colleagues smooching in the car park this morning. He is married with three beautiful daughters. She is separated with four beautiful sons and her H works here too.
They thought they were being so careful and discreet. From my vantage point above I could see it all. I suspected something was going on for a while. Since my H�s A I can smell adulterers from a mile away (one of my new super powers that I just love � NOT!).
I wish I had never seen them. It�s been playing on my mind all day.
What a couple of DUMB A$$ selfish idiots. So many children�s lives they are just crapping all over.
I�m hacked off that they are doing it. I�m hacked off that I had to see it.
Hacked of BIG TIME! Dumb a$$ waywards!
Me BW Him FWH In recovery since July 2009
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Did you tell her BH? What about a call to his BW? I am sorry that you witnessed this, but there was a reason. You must do something with it.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Agreed. Scotland is right. You need to be a hero.
Too many people witness crimes and refuse to get involved. "It's not my problem."
Maybe if more people stood up for what's right, wrong wouldn't happen as often and without consequences.
Expose.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assissi
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ITA
if your not comfortable, or believe you will be adversely affected by fall out, gather a bit of proof one way or another (snap a pic on your cell if you see it again, they WILL slip up again) and send it to the BW anonymously
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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I like the phone idea....and wouldn't it be a shame if that pic somehow got pasted on the break room wall or something. I guess you could get into trouble for that though. I called out a couple of posters on another forum (not MB, but a Christian one!!!) who kept flirting back and forth about a month ago. I think they blocked me. Oh well.
I am sorry you had to see that. I can't imagine what a terrible trigger it must have been.
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ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH Why are the people in the world so AHHHHHHHHHHHHH?
I was at work. I was on cash. I had a lady talk to me about Tom Cruise. Then she says, "And what about Tiger Woods? Why can't they give him a break. So he had a little fun. He only lives once." I was SCREAMING on the inside, but since I was at work(and wanted to literally jump over the counter and throttle the woman), I just looked at her and said, "Have a nice day." DO NOT ENGAGE THE STUPID PEOPLE.
Then I was sitting on my break and there was a Hello mag and it had something about Tiger and Elin on the cover. I had it sitting in front of me(it doesn't really bother me to read it anymore). One of my co-workers whom is well aprised of my sitch says, "You know, although Tiger did something horrible, I think Elin is stupid for taking him back. I mean come on." I looked at her and said, "Is that what you think about me too?" Then the back pedaling started, "Well no, YOU are doing the right thing. You are doing it the right way. You are my friend and I would support you whichever way you choose to go." Hmmmmmm Me thinks I don't believe her. HEHEHEHEHE
It is good that I am strong in my convictions and beliefs in the MB way. I am so glad to be a part of this wonderful cult. OOPS. My turned into a lovefest of MB at the end, teeeheehehehe
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Scotland, I applaud you for showing self control with that lady who made the "had a little fun" comment. I would have smiled really sweetly and then said something totally condescending and guilt-inducing, like "I know. I can't believe we expect him to be faithful to his wife and children as if he cares about them. How judgmental." I have noticed that the older I get, the less I tend to employ the bite-my-tongue method. But really, if people are going to be allowed to spew their twisted lack of morals all over the television, movies and radio, then I should be able to make a snarky remark every now and then.
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