Usually juvenile cases are closed hearings and no one is allowed in except the immediate family members. They may allow grandparents to attend especially if they have been active in his life. It would definitely look good for the whole family to show up in support.

The investigator is doing the prosecutor's homework for them and the prosecutor will more than likely give their recommendation a lot of weight.

From everything you've described, I think your son will be okay. Even if #2 happens, he's a juvenile and his record will be sealed-- unles for some strange reason they decide to try him as an adult. Based on what you've said however, I really don't see that happening.

I know it's scary Writer, but I really believe this is going to be okay. Hard lesson learned for your son but one I'll bet he'll never forget.

(((Writer)))

((writer))

Just found out that the money my son's biological sperm donor was supposed to send to the attorney hasn't arrived yet. Big surprise. So, we won't be meeting with the lawyer tonight for sure. If the money doesn't get there in two days, we may very well have to go to the interview with the investigator on Thursday without an attorney. I've left messages with his bio dad, but he isn't answering his phone. I'm considering pawning our wedding rings to come up with the money. That would probably get us the retainer at least, but the rest of the $5000 to $10000 would be due in 3 months. I would have to rob a bank and land myself in jail to come up with that kind of cash.

Is just a little bit of good news really too much to ask for?

If the girl sent naked pictures of herself and then erased them, unless she wiped her hard drive clean then the files are still there. What happens is the PC just erases the pointer to the file. Why not ask the lawyer if they could subpoena her computer and have a forensic computer person recover the files?

We would like to do that, just as soon as we manage to actually get a lawyer.

It's going to take a miracle.

I just wanted to tell you I am thinking of you and your family today, Writer1.

Thinking of you, too, Writer!

Confirmed with my son's bio dad that he never sent the money. He kept reassuring me that he would have it before Thursday, but it isn't going to happen. Will be calling pawn shops today to see how much we can get for our wedding rings. My H will probably have to cash out his extremely small 401K plan and pay a huge penalty. It'll screw us next year at tax time and we'll probably owe the IRS money we almost certainly won't be able to pay. Our tax returns are the only thing that have saved us in the past few years. Bankruptcy is almost a certainty at this point. Losing our house is a probability. We couldn't even afford our property taxes this year, so we didn't pay them. I guess the house would have went anyway eventually. Once the house goes, my H and DS 15 will likely end up living with my MIL and the baby and I (and DS 17 if he's not in jail) will end up sleeping in my mother's extremely dirty living room until we can figure something else out. My MIL has the room to take us all in, but I know she won't do it. She's made that pretty clear in the past.

My life officially sucks! Sorry to vent in such a negative way, but really, it just feels like it's all over and there's no use even trying to fight anymore. What's the point?

I'm so so sorry.

I too am so, so sorry. Stupid teenage girls have no idea how their little schemes can so deeply cause harm to so many people.

I'm sorry, writer.

All this has not happened yet, so there's a chance that it might not. Please don't despair.

From what this stupid teenage girl said to my son and some mutual friends, it seems it was pretty much her intent to cause our family as much harm as possible, so I think she knows exactly what she's doing.

Our finances have been hideous for awhile now. This just seems likely to be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Maybe a huge lottery win would save us, but since we don't play the lottery, that doesn't seem likely.

How does one overcome the urge to crawl in a deep hole and never come out?

I hope they put this stupid teenage girl up on the stand and crush her.

That probably wasn't productive. But I'm angry for you Writer.

I'm guessing this girl's parents are religeous? How do they think outright lying to destroy a young man will sit with THEIR god?
So sorry you have to go through this.

(((writer))) I rarely read this board and didn't realize life has gotten even harder for you. I will be praying about this for you, hon.

Thanks Faith.

My H just created a thread on the forum yesterday. Sort of threw me for a loop, since I haven't even really been able to get him to read on here before, let alone post anything.

He is TWOPENNIES and the topic of his thread is titled: Financially responsible if no adoption?

I'm sort of taken aback by the fact that he is considering divorce (on paper only, but still...) as a way to protect our family's finances from this mess we are in. The financial aspect of all of this didn't occur to me until we met with the probation officer yesterday. One of the papers we had to sign indicated that part of my son's probation (if he ends up getting probation) could include paying the "victim's" medical and legal expenses relating to the case. We can't even pay our own expenses. No savings, huge credit card debt, outrageous student loans, an upside down mortgage, and now this? I'm beginning to feel a bit like Job.

So, how do I handle this talk of getting a legal D and putting everything (house, credit cards, and itty bitty checking account) into my H's name? It feels a little like getting thrown under the bus, from my perspective. I wouldn't even be able to go to the store by myself unless he gave me some cash. And if something ever happened to him, God forbid, I would pretty much be homeless and penniless, unable to access any of "his" money.

Ugh. Ugh. UGH!!!

We have that too. You could put everything in his name, then if he died, have a will giving it all to you.

It can be protective. And just think, it is a nice offer of "amends" (i forget the word) to make up for what you did to him.

Asset protection is very important. This could benefit you both.

Bubbles: What I did to him? The current situation has nothing at all to do with anything that either one of us did. This is about our son.

Writer, I will probably be rebuked for this, but this makes me nervous. I don't know why. If you do decide to get a divorce on paper, it should not be out of some affair-related guilt. Because you are right; they are not related. Don't do what I did. For a long long time I based every decision on some idea that since I had an affair I couldn't have an opnion. WRONG.

For me, right now I wouldn't want to D on paper because I am not sure H would want to un-D. But y'all may not be like that.

I am just so sorry that all this has happened.