Ok... Had an emotional affair that ended in January. Separated in November, wife has just ( few days ago) agreed to move back home after her lease comes up next month, and work things out. Since she has committed to that decision she seems MUCH better. I know there still has to be underlying issues, concerns, visions, etc. We are already in Marriage Counseling and very happy with our counselor. I know people swear by SAA, and also telephone counseling with dr. harley. My question is this. If we could only do 1 telephone counsel, or have her read SAA, or whatever book you think at this point. Which would be better? Yes, I suppose we could do both since the book is cheap, but I'm not sure if she has the energy to put into the book right now? I just now got her to fill out the emotional needs questionanaire with me yesterday.

Gosh, I would have her do both. Chances are she will have the energy to do both because she will see that many others have been in her position and went on to have a better marriage than before.

Will she read or post here?

Oh, and if the affair was more than emotional, you'd better get out the truth NOW. And hopefully you have no contact with the OW.

Yes, I have another thread on here explaining everything. Everything is out in the open, and no contact since the first week of January.

Good.

Betrayed spouses find comfort in reading SAA, and comfort in getting a plan from the phone counseling.

My WW and I started in MC shortly after DDay. MC was actually causing further alienation. We stopped MC after about 3 months of weekly sessions.

At that point I've had read SAA and had been reading here for about a month. When I started my thread, I was recommended to call the Harleys. If I could do it over again I'd start with the counseling.

The counseling gives you a focused plan based on SAA. You'll have a guided help to set priorities.

You still want the BS to read SAA but nothing beats coaching with the Harleys IMO.

--ElCamino72