Hugs back to you ABR, this is very hard!!! I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks for the words of encouragement Fred, I have already had people comment to me that I know longer look like I am on the edge of insanity

So, for me just no longer living in the constant chaos, deception, and drama he created has helped.

I would be lying though if I didn't admit that I am still hoping for a miracle. Part of my hoping he will turn back towards me - means that he has turned away from POSOW.

So thanks for responding to my venting, it does help.

That is only a natural feeling, Missy. I too, entertain thoughts that my WW will some day "wake up" and realize the harm she's done and the damage she's caused.

It may happen, but I'm not holding my breath. And I'm not banking on it.

Even if it does, the satisfaction would be short-lived. I wouldn't take her back now unless she first spent a *lot* of time and energy fixing the broken things about her. A minimum of one year of therapy, for starters. And that's just to get to the point where we could even TALK about reconciliation.

Missy, your Plan B will be MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE for YOU if you do block his emails. Just forward them on to your IM, and tell him that you only need to know the logistical stuff and not the chit-chat stuff.

Your WH needs to KNOW that you are NOT reading any of the chatty stuff. Right now, he is still indulging himself with the notion that you and he will continue to be FRIENDS.

Mymissy, Just keep taking those baby steps. You are doing well. Believe me Plan B is much easier than being exposed to the toxic WH.

Even with the D, I see my XH at least 2x a week at work. It is a challenge but I feel my spine stronger every day.

Now for the OW that also works there, that is my challenge not to leap across the hallway and kick her to bits.

It's amazing what you can endure when you have to. You are doing great

SUPER DITTO!!!!!

I will say Missy that you DO sound much more peaceful since the beginning of your Plan B......

not2fun

Well, thanks for all the words of encouragement.
Do bad things happen in clumps????? On Wed. I was let go from my job.
So, Fred I now know completely how you feel. It is like everyone is turning against you and the world hates you.
I am much calmer now than I was on Wed. night and Thurs. I have already had one interview and offer on Friday morning.
So once again I am back to making a plan. I am getting tired of plans, I would like to stop enduring and getting through things and simply live and enjoy my life. Can anyone give some words of encouragement for that.
Why does it seem as though many people skate through life and others (like myself) feel as though they work hard, give back, and are caring; but seem to not get a break.
I know - you can only know someone else path if you walk in their shoes. It just seems that there are other shoes out there with an easier path to walk.

Ouch! So sorry about the job, but good to know that you've already had an offer.

Things that seem sucky when they happen can sometimes turn out to be blessings. Maybe a new job will turn out to be the job of your dreams...the start of a new adventure! At the very least, it should get you out of a rut!

It is not for us to determine when the karma bus makes its rounds, but just know that it will come by at the best possible time to be effective.

Thanks for the vote of confidence LC, much appreciated.

Hi Mymissy, it might seem that way the world going against you but it might work out better for you in the long run.

New job - new concentration
New job - new faces

New opportunities... You are doing great even though it doesn't seem like it to yourself.

Having plans is a good motivator. Hoping is not a method. Keep it up

Thanks Hope, I am "hoping" that my plan brings me to a new place in life. And that new place will be a little more fun than the old.
The offer I received on Friday was more money, better benefits, and guarantee of hours. My old job did not guarantee hours, it is just more of a drive.
I am also waiting to hear from 3 other promising applications.
So, once again for me, prayers are definitely needed.
Thanks again to all you wonderful supporters here at MB!!!!

Wow, Missy. MORE money, BETTER benefits, LESS of a drive, ADDITIONAL offers pending, and a GUARANTEE of hours?

Sounds to me like prayers are being ANSWERED....

Not just a new place, Missy, but a BETTER place.....


TB

{{{{{Missy}}}}}},

I SOOOOO know what you mean. Know what turned that around? When a couple of people told me at work told me that I had a great attitude and my outlook on life was positive.......that they wished they had that outlook on their lives.....

This was when I was in Plan A and H was trying to convince me to go to divorce, boinking OW and being an all-around PITA wayward.......

I thought, "Do I ever have you fooled????"

Great news on the offers though.....I think you getting laid off will end up being an AMAZING turn of events for you........

As a wise woman once told me.....UPWARDS and ONWARDS!!!!!!

Not2fun

Does anyone know the percentage or statistics of Plan B actually starting the road to recovering or considering recovering the marriage?

Yeah, I looked for that to for a while..I dont think that there is any statistics....but there are some success story threads. And I know there is a few people on here, like Queenie comes to mind, that have recovered after a Plan B. And hers was a long Plan B.

There are a lot of others too, just cant think of them right now, sorry.

Married Forever and Mimi are also 2 that I know of. You know though, the way it feels in Plan B after a while and when I have my Dad and others to compare to, I will pick Plan B again and again. It is hard, but think of the alternative(SHUDDER).

Well, it has been almost 2 weeks (1 1/2) of being completely dark regarding WH. I realize that plan B is more for me to recover and to save whatever feelings I might have; but I really thought that at some point he would attempt more contact than an email or text. What is the point of saving those feelings, when it seems as though he has none.
There is nothing....How does someone completely turn their back on the person they have spent the last 13 years with - without so much as a glance back.
I still feel clueless.
That is my vent for now, still just sad.
The job search is still ongoing, I have had another great interview and 2 more for tomorrow. The job I really want - I have been playing phone tag with the recruiter, so I am hoping we are able to speak to each other either Monday or Tuesday.

I have forgotten about MiMi's Story and that Scotty posted it on this thread. I have gone back to reading it. I am now about half way through.
I do seem to obsess over WH; I guess it is the overwhelming feelings of being alone. I did everything with WH. But I have done some things for me. I continue to return to my hometown and spend time with my very close friends. Today I even met some other friends for a late lunch and we spent the afternoon talking.
I am forcing myself to go out, even though I am not part of a couple.
In reading MiMi's Story - it is a validating feeling to know that her feelings (and I suspect most BS's) and mine are almost identical.
Fortunately I have been able to steel myself into not driving by the house, emailing him, texting him, or even calling him. It almost feels like who will break first. My fear is that it won't be him....and that is what I want.
I know that plan B is all about me, but I still can't help but wonder???? Does he think about me? How guilty does he feel? What are WH and POSOW doing? Maybe he really never did love me? Maybe I was at fault? Maybe, maybe, maybe maybe......
I hate those self-destructive thoughts but cannot seem to help having them.

I have had those feelings and worse. I try not to dwell on them too much and I try to find something else to keep busy. I find that I am most susceptible to those thoughts when I am not busy. I try to keep myself distracted. Also, are you talking about your sitch often to others? Although it helps you, I think talking about it obsessively also keeps you stuck. I understand what you mean about doing EVERYTHING with your WH. I was that way too. He was my world(well behind the kids). It is hard to get away from that. Just keep trying to focus on yourself. Did you get any hobbies? I remember asking you about that some pages back. So anything yet?

I have been to a couple of pottery classes. I try to stay busy, with working out, walking the dog, spending time with my family, and right now - job search.
So not a ton of new hobbies, just day to day stuff.
But like I said, I am trying to stay busy to keep myself from obsessing to much.
It is all just so hard....I know - I'm whining. Can't seem to help myself today.
Thanks for "listening".