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I heard from a friend of mine @ Fort Sill that the FA BOLC has had to court martial an LT for sleeping with a 14 year old and another for adultery related charges in the last few months. Apparently the CG is running out of patience for this sort of thing.

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A truly remorseful WW will 'recover' from the loss of her career due to her own actions. I put 'recover' in quotes b/c I don't like the implication of her being any kind of victim.

If she never gets over it, that's your strongest clue that she remains wayward, even if only in thought, not action.

Just my $0.02,

Martes


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Quote:
Apparently the CG is running out of patience for this sort of thing.


Hee hee... and I'm sure that that the CG won't cut POS-OM any slack when he finds out that he's involved with the W of a deployed warrior and fellow officer!

I sure would like to be a fly on the wall of the CG's office when OM gets his G.O. letter of reprimand!

I take it that OM is a brand new 2LT that's in his basic course, right? If he was prior enlisted, I'll also bet that OM doesn't have his 20 years in yet either... so much for that nice Army retirement with annual COLAs and free medical!!!

His wife sure is going to be ticked off at him when she learns that he's getting booted out of the Army!!!


Semper Fi,

RIF


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Originally Posted By: Gerkaguards
... had to court martial an LT for sleeping with a 14 year old

That made my stomach turn. Ugh, I feel so sick.

Bad timing on OM's part, huh?
The worst time to act up is when Mom and Dad are already in a bad mood.

Sucks to be them!

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Originally Posted By: RIF
Quote:
Apparently the CG is running out of patience for this sort of thing.


Hee hee... and I'm sure that that the CG won't cut POS-OM any slack when he finds out that he's involved with the W of a deployed warrior and fellow officer!

I sure would like to be a fly on the wall of the CG's office when OM gets his G.O. letter of reprimand!

I take it that OM is a brand new 2LT that's in his basic course, right? If he was prior enlisted, I'll also bet that OM doesn't have his 20 years in yet either... so much for that nice Army retirement with annual COLAs and free medical!!!

His wife sure is going to be ticked off at him when she learns that he's getting booted out of the Army!!!


Semper Fi,

RIF


He has about 10 years in. Had just made E7 and went to OCS. Yeah he's in Field Artillery basic course right now. Definitely had been around long enough to know better. Just thought he was smarter than everyone else.

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Quote:
Just thought he was smarter than everyone else.


Well, it sounds like the OM is in a world of hurt now... and he has much more to lose than your W! I'd be willing to bet the CG will throw the book at him since he was a former senior NCO!

This just reinforces my gut feeling that the e-mails from the "OMW" were the OM. He's trying to do anything and everything that he can to try and save his career... if he can get some "dirt" on you, he's hoping that he can use that for his defense.

This is GREAT news for you because it means that the A is almost 100% done with. OM is going to be fighting for his military career and he's going to do whatever it takes, including saying that your W is the one that was 'persuing' him! I see big troubles in fantasy land! Oh, and don't forget about OM's W... she's probably in shock and just as worried about OM's career as he is...

You're in a great place now.... keep focused and be ready to plan-a your W WHEN she contacts you!

Semper Fi,

RIF


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WW shot me an email asking why I had put $100 in her joint account (that she had taken all of her money out of then, and then several days later taken 4 dollars and change out of, as a little angry jab I think.)

I told her because I didn't want the account to get hit with an automatic payment or small charge and get a bunch of overdraft fees.

No response, but it was at the least, a civil exchange in which I looked sensible.

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Quote:
No response, but it was at the least, a civil exchange in which I looked sensible.


Cha-Ching! You've just made a love bank deposit!!!

Yep, she probably won't say anything, but trust me, it WILL have an effect on her....

Keep it up and look for more ways to meet her EN's.

Semper Fi,

RIF


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I swear, Gerka, you are a MB poster child.
Or maybe not. Poster child usually means "feel sorry for me".
You're the new MB mascot!


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Originally Posted By: Gerkaguards
WW shot me an email asking why I had put $100 in her joint account (that she had taken all of her money out of then, and then several days later taken 4 dollars and change out of, as a little angry jab I think.)

I told her because I didn't want the account to get hit with an automatic payment or small charge and get a bunch of overdraft fees.

No response, but it was at the least, a civil exchange in which I looked sensible.


You are still acting like a responsible married person, and she will recognize that. She cleaned out the joint accounts to get back at you, and instead of you yelling at her about it, you just transfered more money so you wouldn't trigger an automatic fee that would put your account in the red. "But why would he do this?" she'll ask herself, and it will cause turmoil inside of her for acting so petty while you continue to act kind and responsible. "I thought he hated me and was trying to destroy me?" Well things like this will show her you aren't playing games and still want to work on the marriage.

She's looking for a response. She cleaned out the checking account, and you didn't yell at her, you just put in more money. This confused her. Now she writes an email to try and provoke you again. You didn't take the bait.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
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Gerka,

You said
Quote:
I feel like I want to hold her and tell her it'll all be ok. But I guess that just makes me a sucker.
Yeah it does. But you the kind of "sucker" that deserves to be married to a good woman. Your the kind of "sucker" that "gets" what marriage is all about. In short, if being in love with your spouse is being a "sucker", the all of us would do well to be "suckers". I'm proud of you for feeling the way you do.

BUT, what really makes me proud of you, is that you have:

1. Stood up for your marriage.
2. You have informed her CoC and OMs CoC about the affair.
3. You have acted with compassion and with resolution to protect your marriage.
4. You have not backed down from doing the hard stuff like exposing.
5. You have been willing to face her wrath when the consequences of HER actions hit.

Gerka, you have done a lot of things that you should be proud of.

As for her issues when she loses her career, IF that actually happens. They are her consequences and whether you decide you want to continue in this marriage (I think you will get that choice by the way) or you decide to leave it, she will remember for the rest of her life what happens when she allowed her poor choices to tarnish her honor.

If there is any group of people that should and most often do understand honor, commitment, and integrity it those of you in the military. Frankly neither she or OM should be in the military until and unless they see how dishonorable their actions have been.

Hang in there Gerka, you are doing very well.

God Bless,

JL

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You are doing so well!!!! Proud for you!

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Originally Posted By: turtlehead
I swear, Gerka, you are a MB poster child.
Or maybe not. Poster child usually means "feel sorry for me".
You're the new MB mascot!


I agree!
You are doing great.

Originally Posted By: G
I told her because I didn't want the account to get hit with an automatic payment or small charge and get a bunch of overdraft fees.

No response, but it was at the least, a civil exchange in which I looked sensible.

Good rational answer, no room for a pissin' contest and no LBing.
Don't give WW reason to justify in her head that her A was 'the only answer to her horrid life' dramaqueen


M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA


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I agree w/ Jim, she's trying to make sense of everything. How can you be trying to destroy her AND act responsibly and respectfully to her?

Lots of confusion and turmoil going on inside her head right now.


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Yup, just picture her head spinning round and round.

Last edited by princessmeggy; 04/22/10 02:53 PM.

Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Originally Posted By: princessmeggy
Yup, just picture her head spinning round and round.




Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
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Good Morning Gurka!

We're getting some rain here today.... so everything is a muddy mess...

How are you doing this morning? Any more e-mails from your W?

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

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Multiple A's that ended '90

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Nope, never heard back after I explained why I put the money in her account. I don't imagine she's even close to being as angry as she's going to get though, it's only been 4 days since "exposure."

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Hey Gurka - I suspect that you're right... it will take a while for the investigation to run it's course, and the Cdr won't say a word until the investigation is complete and he has a recommendation from the investigating officer.

I'm pretty sure that both Cdr's have already issued a no contact order... do you still have access to your W's cell phone records? If you find any contact, then I'd send it to the Cdr's as proof of continued contact in violation of Art. 92.

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

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Wife has a secret cell phone that she's been using to communicate since I confronted her. I don't have access to those records. But I did inform the command's about it, and gave them the number for it. Can they obtain the records in the course of their investigation?

Also, "I'll never speak to you again" didn't last very long, as it turns out.

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