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I contacted PI and it's going to be $1000 retainer. Does that sound normal? He said that if it's caught early, then they refund the overage. He will put a gps in truck, something on computer. Of course he drives out when he's somewhere suspicious. higgs, that sounds about right. I would make sure they start on a night or day when he is most likely to be in contact. And have them watch him at LUNCH if they can. Many affairs are conducted over lunch.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Ok, husband just called and he's staying another night with his sister. He told me I could call her if I wanted. (to check I guess) Sister's husband is dying and on hospice right now. He's staying there with her through this time...at least for the weekend. (I'm beyond trying to tell if he's lying) Anyway, the house is at least still clean. do you believe this? I don't. Can you call the sisters house?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I sugggest you call the sister. Even if he is there, it will show him that you are indeed checking.
Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!
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Joined: Aug 2006
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I don't know about the PI pricing but it seems reasonable to me. It will save your sanity at least...going to great lengths to snoop on your beloved spouse can take it's toll on your health and sanity.  Was he divorced when you met him?
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. 
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No, he wasn't married. I was fresh out of college and we had the same goals. He had been divorced about a year...not his choice.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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I'm having darling daughter call right now and ask for daddy....she's 14. This will at least give me an idea. He offered for me to have my parents come and check, but I think he somehow knows that I won't have them do that.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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He offered for me to have my parents come and check, but I think he somehow knows that I won't have them do that. He is counting on you not calling his bluff. How far away does this sister live?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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It was a huge ordeal when we married. Many people were against it because of my age and not having been married before. He had been married twice before...my parents were very leary and my dad first said no way. Even then, I never thought this.
He wanted to talk a lot when he called; I tried to be understanding and listen; it wasn't easy. Even though I feel for his sister, somehow I can't get past my own pain.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Posts: 680
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3 hours....not easy for me to go check with 4 kiddos. My daughter is still on the phone, not sure yet.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
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sister couldn't talk because of nurse coming in....so still not sure.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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sister couldn't talk because of nurse coming in....so still not sure. ok, then call back and ask for your husband, higgs. Verify he is there. When he comes to the phone tell him "hello, i was just verifying you are there."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
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Posts: 680 |
I called back and sister said he left....then sister called me back and said that he went to store to get her things she needed. I then called husband and asked where he was...he said he was heading home because sister blasted him one for no reason. I asked why he didn't call me to tell me ,he was leaving and he said that sister called and apologized for rude behavior and so now my husband is driving back. I told him that no matter when he leaves, I want him to call me.
I realize I can't stop this....I'm so scared and it makes me so sick. I know sister is grief stricken, but I still wonder if she knows what is going on, and trying to protect.
I asked why she told me that you were going to the store and he said that was what he told her as not to hurt her feelings. I just don't know anymore.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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He is with the OW and the sister is lying for him.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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higgs, I would call the sister and tell her you know he is with OW this weekend and ask her to explain her involvement. Tell her you would rather know the truth. You can deal with the truth, you can't deal with lies.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680 |
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
On 2nd thought, do nothing. When can you hire the PI to start?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
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I called my friend and asked if they could put the money up and then I would pay $400 now and monthly installments for the remainder until paid. She's talking to husband about it....supposed to call me tomorrow.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Another way to do it would be to put a GPS on his car and see where he is going.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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higgs, here is the spying 101 thread, and there are some ideas about how to put a recorder in his car. I will look for some ideas about a GPS. here Your SIL is an [censored]. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
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OP
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Yeah, he just called me back and asked about our daughter.....sister told him that my daughter told sister that her parents were getting a divorce. He was concerned about this. He says that he told his sister what was going on with us....including the OW. I told him that I'm sure she would protect him if necessary. He then started to get loud and talking about how tired he is. I remainded calm and told him that I understood the being tired.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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