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He says that he told his sister what was going on with us....including the OW. What ?? Who is the OW? Ok, higgs, it is time to talk to him about this. He was with the OW all weekend and you have to discuss it with it. I would call the sister back and tell her you are trying to save your marriage and ask her who your H is having an affair with. If he is having an affair, you have a right to know WHO she is and you should DEMAND that he end his affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Basically he's telling me that he told her what he's told me supposedly. I don't know still who this is; I wish I did know. I feel weird calling the sister since husband is dying any day now. I'm hoping that I can get the gps in there before he has to go back for the funeral.
I was feeling so confident today and now i'm feeling sick again.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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When he gets home, tell him you know he spent the weekend with the OW and ask for her name. You have a right to know this.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I thought that I shouldn't bring it up anymore....will it be ok to bring this up?
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Posts: 680
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I just noticed that you are in Texas...I am too.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I thought that I shouldn't bring it up anymore....will it be ok to bring this up? higgs, when your husband goes off and spends the weekend with his OW, you do bring it up!! HELL YES!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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higgs, you ask him who the OW is and DEMAND that he end his affair. From the new book by Dr. Harley Effective Marriage Counseling pg 94:
"Granted, there are situations when demands may be necessary in marriage. During a spouse's affair, for example, I recommend that the betrayed spouse demand there be no contact with the lover. If there is continued contact, separation or even divorce would be the logical consequence. While normally demands don't work, in this case there are no reasonable alternatives because thoughtful requests are even less likely to separate lovers."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melody,
Guess what, I decided to take husband up on his offer to have parents come by. He gave directions to me and then asked why I was doing this everyone was in bed. I said, I thought about it and decided to take you up on your offer. They were not going to disturb only to see if truck was there. I explained all this to him. He got mad, and siad, "You know what...forget it...I'm coming home now...I'm sick of this...I'll see you in 3 hours. Funny that he gave me the time since I've driven that way many a years...I already know how long it takes to get here. He continued to explain that he was sick of it and he'd just come home. What cha think? I'm probably going to face a real lashing in the morning.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Posts: 680
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Why doesn't he just move in with her and get it over with...why all this lying if he doesn't even love me. He's obviously wanting out. I'm so confused.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Posts: 680
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Ok,now he's called back. He's says he's done...he'll be living at the lake; I can call him there if I need him. I calmly said ok. We hung up. He called back not even 2 minutes later. he said, "did you hear me? Did you hear what I said?" I said yes, I heard you....that was the end of converstation.
I guess I've ruined everything now....I'm trying to stay calm.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Posts: 217
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It sounds like he wasn't at his sister's. Do his parents know about the A? It might be a good time to expose.
Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!
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He was expecting you to cry and beg him not to leave. This is a good thing; he's realizing you're not the puppet he thought you were.
I agree with DaS, expose to the parents before he can spin the story to them.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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There are no parents for him to expose to. He comes from a very violent childhood. Mother is a schizophrenic...sp? He hasn't spoken to her in 10 years. Dad is deceased. He has two sisters which both live 3-5 hours from here. I still haven't begged or anything....yes he was wanting that....I believe that is why he called back.
The exposure part would have to come from me finding the OW and exposing to her roots...but I may never know that now. Can I still get a detective when he's not living here for me to snoop? What do I do now? What do I tell my children?
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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I'm lost as to what to do. I'm a teacher and i want to go home to my parents, but I worry if that is the right thing. Please let me know the next step.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Posts: 680
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I'm bumping in hopes of someone seeing my oontinuing saga...thanks for all the help.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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higgs, where do you think he is at? This is the key. You need to find out where he is and who he is with.
How often has he been going off like this overnight? Apparently, his scumbag sister has been covering up for him.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Can I still get a detective when he's not living here for me to snoop? What do I do now? What do I tell my children? Yes, hire a PI to follow him from work NOW. Tell your children their dad is having an adulterous affair and is not coming home. Tell them the truth. Tell everyone the truth, higgs. How is that you didn't know he was with the OW this weekend, higgs? How long has this been going on?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I did tell my children this morning. The leaving and taking off has just happened in the last week and a half. Otherwise, it could have been happening at lake or sometime when I was clueless. He said that he was staying at the lake last night. I have a feeling that he is not there. When he left, it was for about 4 hours or so and then come back. I guess I didn't think he was because of his sister's ordeal.
I felt he would be by her side....don't know why I thought that.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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I felt he would be by her side....don't know why I thought that. You thought this because you have integrity. He does not. He is shattered. He took advantage of his brother in law illness to get more time to spend with OW. And yes, if he wants out of the M, why just not leave instead of saying he wants out and then have an A on the side just to make himself a little happy (cuz he deserves it). Be prepared for a roller coaster ride my dear. And ask yourself if you really want this scum bag in your life. There is nothing wrong with you, your weight included. It is horrible what these WH put you thru... Blessing
atena
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I guess I remember who he was when I first married him and I know how he was; I keep thinking that it;s still there. I just got a credit card from my parents and they are paying to PI...I'm paying them back as I can.
Should I begin exposing even though I don't know woman yet? Should I wait till that is found out? I'm having him followed today.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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