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I did check facebook and she has a page there. I can't get into it, but I see her profile pic and a list of all her friends. What can I do with this?


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Originally Posted by higgs4
I did check facebook and she has a page there. I can't get into it, but I see her profile pic and a list of all her friends. What can I do with this?

Print off all of her friends. You can use them when you expose.

Last edited by maritalbliss; 04/26/10 03:54 PM.

D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by higgs4
I did check facebook and she has a page there. I can't get into it, but I see her profile pic and a list of all her friends. What can I do with this?


muahhaahahhaaaa, print off those names and when we are ready we will open up a can of TEXAS WHOOP [censored] on dat skank ho!! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Do you have a facebook account of your own? If not, create one, add her as a friend, and then you will have access to messaging all her friends as well. wink


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
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DO NOT PUT IT ON ANY OFFICIAL SCHOOL WEBSITE OR BOARDS, PERIOD.

That will put you into big huge trouble.

Do not use the school computers to do anything with regard to this affair, because they WILL track you for this behavior, and come after you. Trust me on this. One of your H's friends in the computer tech dept will be licking his chops WAITING for the chance.


Do everything from HOME. This is not school business, so don't do it from school.

Print your letter from home, and deliver it to HR on your lunch hour.

No school emails to anyone. This is NOT public information - don't cross the line. Keep very quiet about it at school, and if anyone asks about any HR action, YOU DO NOT KNOW.

You don't know anything while you are at work. YOU are STUPID about your marriage and HR while you are at work...do you understand?

They will nail you if you do anything like that at school!!


Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
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If any of your teacher friends sends you any emails while at work on the school email system regarding your marriage, your response MUST be this:


"This is a private matter. This is the school email system, and should only be used for school business. Thanks for understanding."


Tell them in person - not in writing - why you sent it that way.


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If you are creating a FB account, use a made up name and photo so she will accept your friend request. She is not going to accept the request from your WH's BS. She has probably heard lies about you - that you are crazy, mean, divorcing him, who knows.


Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!
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Originally Posted by disgustedandsad
If you are creating a FB account, use a made up name and photo so she will accept your friend request. She is not going to accept the request from your WH's BS. She has probably heard lies about you - that you are crazy, mean, divorcing him, who knows.

D&S, that would not work because the OW is not going to accept someone she doesnt know as a friend. And when she does send out emails to the OW's friends, for the sake of credibility she will need to use her full name. Otherwise she just be dismissed as an anonymous crank.

She doesn't need to be the OW's friend to send all of her contacts a private email about the affair.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Don't expose to the OW.


She already knows she is having an affair.


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So I should only expose to human resources? What about a personal letter to principal or other friends he has there?


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Originally Posted by higgs4
So I should only expose to human resources? What about a personal letter to principal or other friends he has there?

higgs, we have a template letter that should go to Human Resources along with a cc to the principal and any other key supervisors at his school. I will post it when I get home. I also have a letter for you to use in exposing to the OW's facebook friends.

Who is this OW? How old is she? Where are her folks? What all do oyu know about her?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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It depends on the staff handbook on who to report to.

Since this is a sensitive matter, the issue would be considered private and HR would handle it with kid gloves. You might want to look in the staff handbook for guidance on how to report. Follow that guidance, as it is important to follow the rules on this. They are nitpicky and can be stinky if you report to the wrong person. Look at that book!


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My letter in your sitch my be fairly simple, because schools are so stinky:


To Human Resources:

I am writing to bring to your attention a personal and intimate relationship between Mr. Smelly Affairman and Ms. Stinky Otherwoman which may violate the Staff Code of Conduct (cite the number or page here). The conduct has been witnessed by Private Investigator Mr. Great Detective, who can supply photographs if necessary (or whatever proof you have).

I am the wife of Mr. Smelly Affairman. It is with great difficulty that I feel I must report this activity; I hope that by revealing this information the affair behavior can be stopped during work hours.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. If I can be of any service or provide further information, please do not hesitate to contact me at ###-####.

Respectfully,

Ms. Betrayed Wife


Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
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She is approximately 44 years old and a Math teacher at his school..he is Math also. She was married to the owner of a very upscale jewelry store and her parents were wealthy as well. i knew that had to be the case if he got involved. He has to be able to leave without feeling a crunch financially. He claims that's the only reason he stayed. The woman was married back in 98 and divorced in 2007. I don't know much more. PI is going over there tonight, but I'm wondering what he is plotting right now.

He has still not responded to my text about coming home, he won't contact me or the children. My son keeps texting him and he won't reply. I don't know what to tell them right now. He has been pullin himself away from them over the last couple weeks, other than not being here, he has ignored them when he is here...and now no contact for 4 days.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
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YOU TELL YOUR KIDS THE TRUTH. Sit them down and lay it all out there.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

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? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

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He never responded to text, but came home, ignored kids, grabbed clothes and off he went. I texted him and he claims he's going to a friend's house for a couple of days...he needs sleep and he can't deal with this right now. He says he's not telling me where because he doesn't want me making these people "bad".

Will this pain ever stop? is it worth all this? I want to show up on the door step and tell her all the crap he has put me through. He's not going to come home because he doesn't want to.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Originally Posted by higgs4
He never responded to text, but came home, ignored kids, grabbed clothes and off he went. I texted him and he claims he's going to a friend's house for a couple of days...he needs sleep and he can't deal with this right now. He says he's not telling me where because he doesn't want me making these people "bad".

Will this pain ever stop? is it worth all this? I want to show up on the door step and tell her all the crap he has put me through. He's not going to come home because he doesn't want to.

higgs, do you know where she lives? Can you get someone to drive over there and take a picture of your H's car in her driveway?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Can someone go check her house to see if he is there? Take a photo of his car if he is?


Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!
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Oh, gosh! of course Melody is one step ahead of me!! Must be a slow day; she is usually many steps ahead!!

Anyway, go get a photo!


Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!
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Originally Posted by higgs4
PI is going over there tonight, but I'm wondering what he is plotting right now.

Perfect!!

Ok, lets start getting your exposure letters and calls ready. How many friends does she have on facebook? Do you have the contact information for her parents?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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