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I wonder if the OW's party guests didn't look out the window and wonder why she had a truck parked in the back yard and why some guy was lying down in the back of it. Oh, well...your exposure should put an end to any curiosity that arose! 
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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I'm scared....really. I worry about the exposure to a degree...him losing it and killing us all. I'm just so anxious for him to get pics and whatever else he can.
He texted me last night and told me, "If you want me to leave, then just tell me to leave". It's like he wants me to say "it's over".
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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That may be what he wants so that he can absolve himself of the guilt. If you say 'it's over', then he can feel better about it because it was a mutual decision.
Stick to your guns. Are you really fearful of his reactions? Has he ever been violent in the past?
-SOL
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It's okay to be scared about doing exposure. Many, okay pretty much ALL of the new BSs here have to be nudged into doing it. I have NEVER seen ONE that regretted it after wards. I exposed. It wasn't even nuclear and neither one of them lost their jobs. My WH acted like nothing even happened with exception to one phone call. POSOW had privacy settings on her FB so I couldn't find her. FB changed their privacy settings(I was trying to find her mother and brother) and I took the opportunity to get to her family but I didn't have a chance to get to her friends(oh I wish I had). All that I noticed about POSOWs exposure was one response back saying, "I know OW, but I do not know you." She changed her privacy settings so I couldn't get to the rest.
Your WH will be ANGRY. We aren't trying to scare you, we are warning you. We are warning you so you will have some pocket responses ready so you don't act off of emotions alone. Many times when BSs are dealing with this, their TAKER comes out and they say and do things that they regret later. We don't want you to fall into that trap. Just get ready for anger.
As far as wanting you to tell him to leave, they all do that. They feel guilty enough already about what they are doing but they don't want to stop doing it. Your WH needs BOTH of you not just OW. He is cake eating and he doesn't want to stop. He is also confused as to why you haven't reacted in that way. It is confusing him. Now ramp up that Plan A and get ready to expose. Then get yourself ready to watch the fireworks fly.
When you are watching and listening to him spew his fog babble, laugh in your head at how RIGHT all of the MBers were. Believe me, even I was shocked whenever they were right, which BTW was EVERY single time.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Everyone has been right....he's a textbook case no doubt. Do you think she will change her settings while I'm sending out the facebook notifications. I worry about getting to them all.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Everyone has been right....he's a textbook case no doubt. Do you think she will change her settings while I'm sending out the facebook notifications. I worry about getting to them all. Don't worry about that. Forge ahead.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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If you print out the list of her contacts, you will have them and it won't matter if she changes her privacy settings. You can then search her friends' names and send them the message.
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Everyone has been right....he's a textbook case no doubt. Do you think she will change her settings while I'm sending out the facebook notifications. I worry about getting to them all. higgs, yes, she will change her settings, so this is why it is important for you to copy the names into a WORD document. Is there anyone you can enlist to help you?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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How far away from you does she live? Do you know who her parents are?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Oh, and one more thing - print her photo off of Facebook to show your kids who she is when you tell them. GOOD IDEA! You may be able to get several photos off of her facebook page. Save them to your hard drive so they can look through them all. I know I always have a hard time recognizing someone from just one online photo.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Hi, she lives about 15 minutes from here. PI is over there now seeing if he can get some pics. What if he doesn't get any...can I still expose w/out those? I'm so nervous...I can't stand the waiting.
I have my letters ready and I'm prepared to do it all tomorrow if PI calls with evidence. Her parents are both on facebook, so they will get the letter.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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YEs, you can do it without pics but those are BEST.
What concrete evidence do you already have?
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Mainly the confirmation of flowers being sent to her, his prescription for viagra, PI eyewitness account of them being together at house and that's it really.
New news....a friend that I work with ran into a friend of the OW and asked her if she was seeing anyone. The OW said yes, but it was a nightmare because he was going through a divorce and had 4 kids. Really a divorce? He hasn't mentioned that yet. So what do you make of that?
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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So what do you make of that? I make of it that he's a typical lying wayward...they all say this. 
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Mainly the confirmation of flowers being sent to her, his prescription for viagra, PI eyewitness account of them being together at house and that's it really.
New news....a friend that I work with ran into a friend of the OW and asked her if she was seeing anyone. The OW said yes, but it was a nightmare because he was going through a divorce and had 4 kids. Really a divorce? He hasn't mentioned that yet. So what do you make of that? We really need a picture of him over there. That should do it. Your H is likely lying to her about his situation at home.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Her parents are both on facebook, so they will get the letter. higgs, do you know their phone #? Can you get it? It would be even more effective if you or your mother or his mother could call the OW's parents. Do they live close by?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I don't know parent's address or number. PI just called me and got the pics. He got one of both cars, license plates and him going in the house....he says he's staying the night. I just texted him and asked when he was coming home and he said, I don't know, I'm trying to plan for a funeral and viewing...so I guess sister's husband died....it will be another excuse to stay away.
PI wants me to go over there now and confront at house. Do I need to do this; I definitely want to. Can I do the facebook tonight and then take letters in the morning. I have everything ready.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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PI wants me to go over there now and confront at house. Do I need to do this; I definitely want to. Can I do the facebook tonight and then take letters in the morning. I have everything ready. That would be a good idea if you can control yourself. Can you? Be polite and keep yourself under control. Go over there and ask her what her intentions are. DON'T TELL THEM ANYTHING ABOUT EXPOSURE WHATEVER YOU DO. Ask them to end the affair, tell the OW you will be fighting for your marriage and that your H has never mentioned divorce. That will upset her, I bet.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Can I do the facebook tonight and then take letters in the morning. I have everything ready. This would be perfect.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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higgs, i am going to pray for you. Please pray for a strong, calm heart and mind before you go. The Lord will give you strength. He is on your side!
Philippians 4:13 (King James Version)
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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