Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 10 of 86 1 2 8 9 10 11 12 85 86
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
You can do this higgs. We will all be praying for you.

I saw a saying on a church sign yesterday, it said, "One on the side of GOD is a MAJORITY."


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
I will pray as well!!!


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 217
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 217
Me, too. I know it is awful. Try to be CALM.


Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
Hi, I'm back. PI went with me but hung out on the street. He was in his truck laying down again. I started knocking on the door several times, but she never came out...husband then came over and wouldn't let me talk to her. Still holding to the fact that he wasn't having an affair with her. I told him that I knew he was staying overnight...he said he wasn't. denied everything.
I told him I wanted to ask what her intentions were because I am going to fight for this marriage. He said, "and if you do this, then I will want to make it work?" He said he was following me home, but he's not here. I'm getting ready to send the emails on facebook.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
((((HIGGS))))

You are so strong. You will be fine.

We are here for you.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
higgs, I am confused about why he was in his truck. That does not seem right. Is this the woman the flowers were sent to?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
Yes, same woman...he still admits that. I think it's because her daughter is at home...not sure. I sent out about 7 emails, but they told me I was behaving badly and blocked me. Will i get my account suspended with them?


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by higgs4
Yes, same woman...he still admits that. I think it's because her daughter is at home...not sure. I sent out about 7 emails, but they told me I was behaving badly and blocked me. Will i get my account suspended with them?

ahhh, that makes sense. Who told you that you were behaving badly?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
facebook


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
higgs, do you need some help with this? email me at ohmelodylane@aol.com


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
yeah, I've been blocked for a few hours to a few days. I guess I'll have to go in through everyone's own page....I probably should have stopped at first warning.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
Ok, I'm stopping the exposure for now. This really worked. Husband is home...madder than a wet hen, but home. I only sent out about 10 facebook messages as ow texted me to tell me that she just learned alot from my visit....she said apparently he has been lying to us both. I'll get back with ya'll later, but for now he's here and i don't want him to see me on internet.

He's mad at me for embarrassing him at this woman's house...still maintains that she refused to be with a married man...that's why he was in truck bed both times. She told him that she would offer him her couch while we worked things out...but he couldn't


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Okay Higgs, what is your plan for recovery? How are you going to move forward with this?

If your WH has come home to work on things, then a NC letter is A MUST. Your WH has to NEVER see this woman AGAIN. There is much more that needs to be figured out


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 480
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 480
Just a note to say YA DID GREAT!! You are an example for all BS's who are afraid to expose. you were afraid yesterday, but look at your result. And WH lied to OW about his sitch....imagine that. Now on to the hard work of recovery! GF


Marriages don't fail, people do. (And I don't recall who said it)
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by higgs4
He's mad at me for embarrassing him at this woman's house...still maintains that she refused to be with a married man...that's why he was in truck bed both times. She told him that she would offer him her couch while we worked things out...but he couldn't

higgs, he is trying to cover for her still. I would schedule a polygraph and insist he take it. Seriously.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by higgs4
He's mad at me for embarrassing him at this woman's house...still maintains that she refused to be with a married man...that's why he was in truck bed both times. She told him that she would offer him her couch while we worked things out...but he couldn't

higgs, he is trying to cover for her still. I would schedule a polygraph and insist he take it. Seriously.

ITA. You also need to start working on snooping to make sure C doesn't continue (they will try desperately to take it further underground...trust me here).


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
Wow, Higgs, you are doing wonderfully, I am very impressed. Keep up the good work and keep on snooping.

(((HUGS)))


Married DH May 5, 1990
DH45 - ME43 - DD18 - DD15

Thanx to MB my M is now back on track and better than ever. MB ROCKS!!!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong
1942-, American Author
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Remember, your marriage can withstand your husband's anger. It cannot stand your husband's adultery. Whatever you do now, do not let him sweet talk you into anything. You're holding all the cards now.

I'm with the others, proud of you for doing something that took a lot of courage!


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
I'm super scared......so anxious today......ow texting and calling me to explain that she will not contact him. Texted me at 1:30 concerned about the messages on facebook.....wanting to know who I message. H is so mad and now I'm worried if he finds out about facebook.

Got my first fb hate mail.....I guess it could have been worse. This was from a relative.....maybe mom. " I don't condone ow, but I pity you for acting like an 8th grader.....next time take the high road"

what's next for me? He's so angry and hurling insults.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 533
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 533
We're here to support you. This is your decision to save your marriage and in time your WH may actually thank you. Make sure that the exposure is complete with everyone on your list. Including his family, and anyone else with influence.

Your doing good.

Page 10 of 86 1 2 8 9 10 11 12 85 86

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 490 guests, and 50 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5