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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 13 |
Well tomorrow is the polygraph tests.Im anxious to find out the truth no matter how much it hurts! I already feel he did have sex with her even though he denies it. The voice recorder has no good conversations on it, him only talking to me. I will just keep replacing the batteries! The webwatcherdata I installed over a month ago still shows nothing. It's almost like im just waiting for him to screw up. Otherwise had a nice weekend. Thanks everyone for all the advice if you have anymore keep them coming.
Gracie
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 13 |
Well he passed the polygraph,now what? I oredered several books for both of us. He told me he understands the hell he put me thru and will answer all my questions. He wants this marriage to work he told me and knows it will take time to rebuild trust if ever!
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
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Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Well, you need to get your recovery plan together.
Now that you know the answers to those questions, does it feel better? Just curious.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449 |
The poly just gives you more pieces to the puzzle, but really doesn't change the fact that he can't work or see (even in passing) OW anymore ~ that is a requirement for recovery regardless of whether or not they had sex.
Have you discussed NC with him? If so what does he say?
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 13 |
Scotland- Thanks for the advice about the recovery plan. Also it feels good that he did not have a sex with this OW BUT he did have an EA and that still hurts!
SusieQ- Yes the puzzle pieces are coming together. And like I said it still hurts that he had an EA with co-worker. I am happy that he loved me enough not to escalate it to sex. The EA went on & off for almost 2yrs. He has asked for a transfer.He will be transferring to another local area, June 15th. So until then yes he will be in the same building as the OW. They do not work in the same area but yes she's still in the building! Got that! He sent a No Contact letter that I read and approved. We are both going to read together the book HSHN and the others i ordered. We have work to do. The poly did give me a big sigh of relief.I feel more relaxed but still will keep my snooping devices out there.They may be there for a while maybe forever, I don't know. As for now I will not let this OW have an power in my marriage. I am putting all my energy & focus on making our marriage strong. Is there anywhere on this site about the recovery plan? Is that plan B? I appreciate all your help and I am thankful I found this site.
Gracie
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 13 |
I just wanted to Thank everyone that gave me advice almost a year ago! Since then we have read the books together, did EN questionaires, POJA and 20hrs UA, weekly. He was transferred to another location in July. It was suppose to be June 15th, 2010 but he had to stay a lil over a month longer. I have access to all passwords and he has access to mine. My advice to BS just finding out that your spouse has cheated is to EXPOSE!! If you can get there Facebook contacts put the contacts in a document then expose. Unfortunately I did not do that so I went to OW & WH place of employment and put letters (flyers) on all the car windows. They work on a military installation which I had access to get on. Luckily I didn't get in trouble, lol. OW was involved in a Ski club that had a facebook acct so i did hit all the contacts on the page.
I got many positive responses back from married woman thanking me and some not so positive. But all the positive outweighed the negatives!!
My husband did pass the polygraph and it was a great piece of mind BUT never put all your trust out there!
My husband is taking me to Hawaii this year for our 26th wedding Anniversay in August. This is somewhere I have always wanted to visit and im so ready to hit the beaches!!
We are in Recovery now and the 2nd DDay will be here soon. I am making plans for a weekend getaway to one of our favorite places!
Thank You MB for guiding us on making our Marriage stronger. God Bless you all you are in my prayers.
Gracie
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928 |
Glad to hear your update! GREAT job! Congratulations on your recovery!
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
I am happy for you Grace. Continue the plans, and I am sure you will do GREAT.
When you have time, that doesn't interfere with your UA time with your F(?)WH come and lend a hand around here. It's always good to hear from some success stories.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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