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Originally Posted by higgs4
I'm going to continue to snoop and I'm getting a digital recorder to put in his truck. I will need to know if he is continuing to talk with her....or planning anything.

Good job! Keep up the good work. Stay strong and don't let them get you down.

Also, princessMeggy is a legal aide up around Dallas so she knows Texas law. Don't let them scare you into silence.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Yes, I just got all 3 books and I'm reading through surviving an affair. I'm hoping to get all three books read before husband returns home.
He's told me multiple time that my weight bothers him in the extreme. For the most part, my hair is much like when we met and I feel confident that he likes it. I'm not sure about the perfume...how would I know that? I'm not sure of his other needs...I think admiration is very important for him too. I'm sure he won't do the questionaire right now, so How can I determine his needs completely? What is POSOW?


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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You can think back to things he complained about Pre-A. Those were legit complaints, the ones now are his justifications to have an A. Also, I noticed that the things that WH used to do for me were his ENs. You see people tend to do the things for others that would make them happy.

POSOW stands for Piece of Sh*& other woman.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

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I read alot of "Surviving an Affair" last night. I'm concerned because he won't be able to have complete seperation from her at work. They are both math teachers, so they have to see each other at department meetings and anywhere else in the hall. Trust me, they won't seperate them this year with only 5 weeks of school left.

What can I do....I can't insist he quit right now because he'll lose his certificate.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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The affair will continue if you don't insist on NC. He needs to be NO WHERE near her. The A will just go deeper underground and they will become more entrenched. You KNOW that this is right. You KNOW that they must NEVER see eachother again. That is the instincts of every BS. We KNOW that the APs can not be around eachother.

There is only one route to go and that is Plan A until it is time for Plan B. If your WH can not be free from his AP, then the A continues and you treat it as just that an ACTIVE A. You do things that you would be advised to do if their was an active A. Plan A then. Get prepared for Plan B. This is what you need to do right now.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Husband is still in hometown....at funeral going on now. I've texted him 3 times for different reasons......no responses. I can't believe how lonely I am. Even though our relationship wasn't the best, I miss his presenceand communication. I think of nothing else.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Originally Posted by higgs4
Husband is still in hometown....at funeral going on now. I've texted him 3 times for different reasons......no responses. I can't believe how lonely I am. Even though our relationship wasn't the best, I miss his presenceand communication. I think of nothing else.

higgs, hang in there, it will get better. I promise you. frown What is happening is very good for your marriage.

Did you think about what I said this morning about facebook? I would strongly suggest you open it back up so you can answer any questions and tell ppl your PI caught him at her house on Tuesday. Explain how the PI has been following them and that he was there all weekend with her. Everything you say will be funneled back to her so do your best to scare the HELL out of her. Let on to her friends that you have had a PI follow them and know it all.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by higgs4
Husband is still in hometown....at funeral going on now. I've texted him 3 times for different reasons......no responses. I can't believe how lonely I am. Even though our relationship wasn't the best, I miss his presenceand communication. I think of nothing else.

higgs, you need to be keeping yourself busy while he is away...this is a perfect time for you to be working on meeting his ENs!!

~Clean the house, organize, cook a few meals for this week (DS)
~get your hair cut and colored, brows waxed, a mani and a pedi(PA)
~you said you've lost some weight, go out and get yourself a new outfit! (PA)

These are but just a few ideas...it's never a good idea to sit around mourning what you have lost, instead take advantage of this time while he is away and REALLY focus on meeting his ENs.

You can do this, higgs!!


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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I think I will go get my hair cut. It's hard at school to focus. Thanks so much; I don't know what I would without this site.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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y'all want to hear something strange?? I have known higgs' little brother for YEARS. He was a former co-worker and good friend of mine. He told me once she used to beat him up! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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It really IS a small world after all, huh?


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
y'all want to hear something strange?? I have known higgs' little brother for YEARS. He was a former co-worker and good friend of mine. He told me once she used to beat him up! grin

Is that just cosmic coincidence, or did you refer higgs to the site?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
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Wow, that is very cool ML. Just goes to show you, you never know who God is putting in your path and for what reason... even if it's years later that you find out.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
y'all want to hear something strange?? I have known higgs' little brother for YEARS. He was a former co-worker and good friend of mine. He told me once she used to beat him up! grin

Is that just cosmic coincidence, or did you refer higgs to the site?

It was a coincidence..


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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WOW the universe works in mysterious ways. I am glad for higgs that she has you though. laugh



BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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LOL....Thanks for all your help Melodylane; I think it's totally a God thing that I found you.

I'm upset because the stupid florist delivered the flowers to me instead of the funeral home....I'm just furious. Leave it to me to screw things up when trying to do something nice.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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It was a total coincidence...my brother sent me to site, but never told me about Melody.....It was so funny when she said are you brother's sister? I was like "what?" "How did you know that? I'm so blessed to know all of you guys....I think I would be pulling my hair out if I wasn't here.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Get this....OW closed her facebook account. I was just looking around and it's no longer there. That's ok though....I printed out the list so if anything happens again, then I can still go look them up.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 336
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She may have blocked you... Mine did that.


AnnaBelle Rose

Me: 29 WH:31 DS: 22mths M: almost 6 years, together 7 1/2
I am not a mistake. - ABR
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
y'all want to hear something strange?? I have known higgs' little brother for YEARS. He was a former co-worker and good friend of mine. He told me once she used to beat him up! grin

I get the impression that she's a tough chick like that. grin


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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