Thank you. Yes, I am in CA. I'll check it out.

One question for Mr. Wondering or other attorneys. My daughter has a friend whose father is a retired attorney, and he brought up a possible concern about the contract the attorney we intend to hire wants us to sign. Basically, it outlines his fees as $5000 if the case doesn't go to trial and $10,000 if it does. The concern is that such a contract may lead to the attorney trying to drag things out as long as possible, since that means more money for them. Or, this could just be standard practice? I don't really know. Does this seem like a typical contract when hiring an attorney in a criminal case. This attorney came highly recommended from a friend of mine who is an attorney, though she doesn't do criminal law. We've had several conversations with him and I am quite comfortable with him and the amount of help/advice he has offered thus far even when he wasn't being paid. I just want to make sure before we sign.

Sorry to hear the latest developments, Writer. After being away and looking back at your story with fresh eyes, it seems to me that your priorities should be, and in this order:
1. Making sure dear baby is not seriously ill;
2. Working on getting DS a fair trial.
Nothing else should be on the radar screen. Make NO OTHER PAYMENTS to anyone, mortgage, electric bill, etc., until you've handled those two young ones. You can always get another house, you can always get another car, liquidate everything you own if you have to. The only thing that matters is the health and welfare of those children in crisis.
And yes, special place in he11 for MIL. So there is NO ONE else in the community who can help? What about church members?

Writer, I know you are inactive, but there are probably Church resources you could still use. If you can, get in contact with your Bishop- if you don't know your's any Bishop will do, they're usually in the phone book. I know that fast offerings are typically used for food for families in need, maybe you could get in on that.

Also, as this is such a trying time you may want to consider getting a blessing for your family members from the bishop/ home teachers (I can't remember if your husband is a member too). When the walls are closing in around you sometimes all you can do is lean on the Lord.

(((Writer1))) I'm praying for you and your family.

Writer:

The PD costs you nothing, And that is what you seem to be getting.

However.

You can probably spend $500 to $600 to get the Poly done, and your probably going to have to do it with the $5k guy.

So save the $5k. Spend it on the Poly. Ask your PD for a recommendation. Ask the Attorney your talking to for a recommendation. Then get the Poly done. The CJ system moves slowly, but things when they are happening, happen fast. So get your Son to a Poly, and get it DONE.

Understand, we had a family friend that was disappointed in the PD. So he spent $10k on the attorney that would make sure he wasn't getting a raw deal, and a lazy PD. The prosecuter told him: "Glad you got the new guy, but nothing has changed about your status...." And it hasn't. This guy is MORE guilty than your son, but think about that for a minute.

And, it just might make better sense to spend $5k on an interventation for your 16 year old. A Poly may get you older son off. It might incriminate him. I hope it gets him off. But the 16yo is heading to a early grave, or a long prison term.

LG

I'm asking a criminal defense attorney friend of mine but I'm pretty sure...considering the seriousness of the charges and that you are in California where EVERYTHING is more expensive...I'd say this is the low end of the price range.

IMO, he's not REALLY more motivated to take the case further as usually lawyers are outcome driven...they like to WIN and prefer HAPPY CLIENTS that refer them business and pay their fees. Besides, it's not like going to trial is a $5,000 BONUS to him...trials are WORK. If anything he sets that extra trial rate to encourage his clients to settle because going to court is the hardest and most time consuming part of his job (as well as the most risky...legal malpractice, appeals of HIS mistakes and maybe being reponsible for messing up and contributing to the incarceration of an innocent person all weigh on these guys). Trust me...he's much rather take your $5,000...have a few meetings with the DA's office and resolve this whole thing quickly so he can free up time to golf and/or take on more clients. Closing files is a relief to these guys.

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - Remember...you'll need to pay costs, including the private polygrapher

Writer I feel for you,

I believe that it would be better to live at the Y or a shelter than to see your son go to jail. If you you can get a REAL lawyer then do so ASAP.
As someone aaid b4 it might be that the PD is inept or somehow intimidated by the court. I wouldn't trust her.

Im sorry you are going through this. I pray the baby gets better.

Thanks everyone for the input.

Yes, I would rather be homeless than see my son go to jail. The PD is inept and isn't doing her job, so my only choice is to hire someone who will fight for my son. Financially, we're pretty bad off anyway so we don't have a whole lot to lose.

Mr. Wondering, that does make sense. And I would prefer not to go to trial too, but the way the PD was talking, settling without going to trial would almost certainly mean some amount of jail time for my son, and I'm obviously not happy about that.

The other day I was at the school and the principal's secretary came up and started talking to me, volunteering all sorts of information about the girl's family. Apparently, she's known the mother for over 20 years and she said that the entire family is crazy. I found out that the mother left her previous job because she claimed that someone was sexually harassing her in the workplace. So, it seems they have a history of filing these sorts of charges. I wasn't even the one who brought up the case, since I've been advised not to discuss it. She just started offering the information.

The only people who seem to think my kid is guilty are the ones who don't know him - the judge, our PD, the DA. Every person who actually knows him thinks this is all insane. It seems as though plenty of people who know the girl think she's entirely capable of lying about all of this.

My criminal attorney friend confirmed that that is not too bad a price considering the charges. It's the low end and he agreed with my reasoning. He likes turn-over with favorable outcomes but if the DA won't deal and your client is innocent...trial is really the only choice. Which often results in delays anyway from the DA's side as they put off trial so they can put more pressure on your son to plead. The PENDINGNESS of the case will just SUCK and they KNOW it. It's not like the Ex-girlfriend is going to be pressuring them immensely to prosecute the case though her parents might (because they believe their daughter to the same extent you believe your son). It's the DA that doesn't want to go to trial the most and without much evidence ....may make a substantially better offer at the last minute to avoid it.

It's all a game...that hopefully your attorney knows how to play AND win.

Sucks..

Mr. W

It does suck. I would like off of the Monopoly board now.

Tomorrow, I have a meeting with the school principal. I'm filing a complaint against the girl's father for making threatening phone calls to my son and stalking him around campus before the charges were filed. After yesterday in court, where he made some very obvious death-threat gestures in the general direction of my entire family, I do not feel that my son who still goes to that school is safe. When that man stared at me as I was walking out of that courtroom, I saw pure evil and hatred in his eyes. It sent a cold shiver down my spine. My son has been warning me for awhile now that he fully believes her family will retaliate against us outside of the courtroom. I finally believe him. I'm not going to sit around and wait for something bad to happen. I'm going to ask the attorney for info about restraining orders as well. I wish there was some sort of order we could get to keep this girl from posting immature, moronic, and false allegations against my son on the internet as well. So far, it seems as though she's being allowed to say anything and everything she wants, and if my son even blinks the wrong way, he goes back into custody.

I really hate this country. Sorry to any of you who may be patriotic. I used to think we lived in the best country on earth too. I don't think I'll ever feel that way again.

I hope you can provide documentation and sworn testimony of thier behavior. If so then get a restraining order. Also if they have records get them in front of your new Atty and or judge.

The restraining order is important here. You need to protect yourselves from these sleazes.

When its all over I would move to another county, state whatever writer if you think for any reason these ppl might retaliate. .

Yes this country is in bad shape. Mr Wondering is right, whats happening to your son is part of the game. SPare no expense and get that lawyer he will be better than the wimpy, powerless and intimidated PD who is probably in the game to make friends. Really don't know.

I don't want you to have any mercy for that family and be sure they don't have any for you.

Prayers for you guys. I hope you are digging up dirt about theses people that yuu can prove because judging from what you have told me about this family , the drug abuse, and so on, The old GF will lie and they will swear to it. Your only hope is that you sway the judge with a good lawyer and so much information that they will fear repercussions larger than letting your son off would bring

I am so frustrated right now. The other side of this is, my son is already turning into a different person because of this. He's angry all the time. He yells and flies off the handle every time we try to talk to him about any of this. He doesn't want to do his school work anymore because he doesn't see the point in getting a diploma if he's just going to prison anyway. This isn't my son. I'm tired of getting yelled at. I'm tired of getting blamed because he's missing out on everything and cooped up in the house all of the time and unable to see his friends.

I didn't have sex with his girlfriend. I didn't mouth off and say things I shouldn't have said. I didn't do any of this!

Every minute of every day of my life is filled with conflict. I want to quit. I want out of this entire thing. I cannot handle anymore yelling and screaming. I cannot remember the last happy moment that I had.

I AM DONE!

writer1...I don't know the whole story, so I'm sorry about posting this if it's a repeat suggestion, but have you looked into a defamation of character suit against her?

No need to explain again if it's already been discussed.

So sorry to hear that Writer

He is just afraid. Nobody can blame him. What is H doing about this? Do you have counsel for your son as in spiritual/therapist? If your Son can reach out to someone outside the family right now it would be good for him. He needs to accept that this has happened and that reacting will just make it worse

Prayers

I think someone outside our family for him to talk to is a good idea. My H tries, but he isn't getting very far with him either. I think I'll ask our bishop for a suggestion, or maybe he can talk to him himself. I know he's afraid and he has a lot of pent-up anger and no real way to let it out. His 18th birthday is next week, and he isn't allowed to see any of his friends or go anywhere without us. I can only imagine how frustrating that must be. It's frustrating for all of us. I know we need some help dealing with this. We had an appointment with the bishop set up for tonight, but we couldn't go because the baby is still too sick. I think she's on the mend, finally. She's kept down some applesauce today, which is a huge improvement.

We can't really do anything about defamation of character until this is all over. If my son is found innocent, that might be a possibility. That would require a full-blown trial though, and even the mere thought of having to go through something like that terrifies me to death.

Glad to hear the baby is better. I know it seems like the end of the world to your son, but if he can stay out of jail, this will all be a distant memory in a few years. I would get him into counseling.
I can understand how it would shake your faith in this country and if it were me, it would shake my faith in God as well. I just can't understand how these kind of things happen to good people.

Ima: My faith in God has been on shaky ground for some time now. It's something I'm working on.

My fear is that this seems likely to end in some way that will negatively affect my son's ability to get a job for the rest of his life. If he has something permanent of this nature on his record, he'll probably never work even if he doesn't go to jail. It's difficult enough to get a job without a criminal record nowadays, probably impossible with one. That makes it difficult for me to motivate him as far as school is concerned.

Well, he was charged while a minor--even if he's 18 when the disposition takes place, maybe get it sealed?

It's good that you can admit to yourself and us that this is a FEAR. And fears (and other feelings) are not FACTS.

There is so much you don't know about your son's future, regardless of how this all ends up. Today has enough of it's own problems, without adding fears about future ones. There are so many people out in the world who have truly screwed up big time, were not innicent one iota, and who found redemption and a future. Surely, your son, who is innocent, will also have hope too.

My heart aches for you and your family.

Something you might want to remind yoru son is that no one knows what his future holds. He has only limited control over the future even in the best of circumstances, even if this whole horrid thing had never happened. He has very little control over anythign right now. And it seems that the one thing he DOES have control over is his schoolwork. I know for me when I am feeling powerless, I tend to try to control other areas of my life through neglect, but I only end up harming myself. It's taken me many years to learn that by controlling myself in positive ways, I am doing myself a huge favor. If he could learn that at his young age, surely there is reason to hope that his future will be bright.

I hope this is coming out right. If it strikes a raw nerve, I apologize. I never know how to say stuff sometimes. ((((writer))))

Many employment applications ask, "Have you ever been charged with a felony offence." In which case, even if the record is sealed, one would still have to answer about charges filed as a minor.

However, if his record is expunged, then it is as if it never happend, and he could answer "no" to that question and legally be OK.

At least, that is my understanding. I have a neighbor who is a prosecutor, and has also been a PD, and was picking his brain about this to see if there was anything I could add. But there isn't. It's been covered pretty well.