Keep your posts to one thread, it's easier for those responding to you.
An Affairage is a marriage that began as an affair. It's easy to know if you have one or not. Your post is still very confusing.
First: I MET my (now) wife, when my first marriage was a few months from being finalized.
You met your current wife and began a relationship with her while you were still married. The divorce was not yet final. Is that correct? If so, then that is adultery. No matter how long the divorce took, or if you and your wife were 'over' (obviously not since you went back and had sex with her one last time).
Your current marriage began as an affair, and typically they have abysmally low survival rates. Many people here, with knowledge and experience, will NOT help you for that simple fact alone (nothing wrong with that btw, as it's pretty disrespectful to ask people who've lived through an affair to help you salvage yours).
Your current wife IS AN OW for your first marriage!!!! If the story of how you met is correct, then she is an OW by definition. No matter that you married her later.
The Harley's are probably your best bet as the mountain you are going to have to climb is sizable. Not only do you have to overcome your and her affairs, you have to fundamentally change your belief system to one not so dramatically broken.
A cuckold is a man with an adulterous wife. Thats you. What's worse is you tried to ENABLE her adultery by agreeing to an open marriage.
Finally, are you sure this last child one is yours? Are you sure any of them are yours?