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Originally Posted by thndrnltng
Well, that's OK, I didn't feel like doing it either,*********edit***********
tl

We already knew ****edit******, and I'm kind of glad I know to be on the lookout for *********edit********.

And I have a revelation as well. My real name is Jim.

Last edited by JustUss; 05/15/10 10:21 AM. Reason: safety

Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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I'm getting the sense that her family is on your side as well. The whole, "my family doesn't want to talk to you" stuff is made up because she already feels that are on your side and she doesn't want you influencing them anymore.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Quote
And I have a revelation as well. My real name is Jim.

Well, my real name is Susan. It's my real character that's thndrnltng. rotflmao Fortunately for everybody around me, I generally keep my real character under control, and to a certain extent, underwraps. I don't care if he puts the real names out. I just know that sometimes people do when they didn't mean to, didn't want to, and don't know that it happened. Telling him the names were there was informational only. Whatever he does about it is OK by me--not that this should matter to him at all! smile

tl

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I still want to send my email. I can't believe how childish she's acting, taking no responsibility for her actions, and presumably telling other people that none of it is her fault.


Resist it.

She is following the wayward script to a T. You are not going to be able to talk her back from the Land of Make Believe.

All you can do is point the way.

Reality will keep slapping her in the face and the fog will lift. So just hang in there.

Your goal is to make enough deposits in her LB so that she will want to recover your M.

Trying to educate her w/draws deposits. Not the direction you want to go!

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Something is definitely up though about convincing him to sign the waiver...


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Good morning Gurka!

Quote
I still want to send my email. I can't believe how childish she's acting, taking no responsibility for her actions, and presumably telling other people that none of it is her fault.


Like I said last night, your last e-mail was 100% correct. You've laid out what your intentions are, and you done a good job of descrbing your WW's actions to date.

Please don't send it. It might make you feel better, but it will NOT have the desired effect. It would be easier for you to teach a monkey to talk than it would be to get your WW to see where her actions are wrong and hurtful.

Yep, your WW is acting very Jr. High-ish... her last e-mails to you could have easily come from a 14 year old girl throwing a temper tantrum! You're in control here and you can't educate a child when she's throwing a temper tantrum.

I suspect that the "others" realize that you aren't nearly as bad as she's making you out to be... and her family (SIL, MIL, etc) can see by your actions that something isn't matching up with your WW's words. Again, your WW is acting like child and I'm sure that her parents and siblings recognize this behavior.

Don't try to educate her... write all of the e-mails that you want and post them here. You can vent to us all day long! Venting your frustrations to your WW will just push her further away, and you'll fall into the patter that she wants for you. She wants to make you out to be the bad guy here, so she has to engage in little e-mail wars in order to justify her past actions. Don't fall for this!

Hope you have a great day today...

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Email from her from one hour ago:
I can't believe u tried to use my dad having cancer as an excuse to try to play your little games. How selfish can u be?
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
Email from her from one hour ago:
I can't believe u tried to use my dad having cancer as an excuse to try to play your little games. How selfish can u be?
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

DO NOT REPLY!!!!

She's PO that you are not acting like the crazy person she said you were. You ARE coming across to her parents as the caring man they always knew you to be.

AND she is trying to bait you. Trying to get you to say or do something that she can point to and say, "See! I was right. Gerk doesn't deserve me! It was perfectly right to have the affair!"

PLEASE IGNORE THAT EMAIL!

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I'm ignoring it. But I'm supposed to call her in an hour. I didn't get a response from her mother.

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
I'm ignoring it. But I'm supposed to call her in an hour. I didn't get a response from her mother.

You know Gerk, I was thinking that if someone emailed me telling me my daughter told them my H was dying, WHEN HE WASN'T, I'd be too sick to reply back to them.

If your FIL IS ill. You did the right thing by offering to help. MIL will not see evil where there isn't any. (That "gift" is reserved for waywards.) Give her time to respond. If she doesn't, then you'll have to accept the fact that blood is thicker than mud. She just doesn't want to rock the boat w/ her daughter...especially not at this difficult time.




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Hey Gurka - You're not playing games. You are showing love and concern for her dad. She's the one playing games...

Remember, she's just a Jr. High Drama Queen right now... keep that in mind when you call her...

Semper Fi,

RIF

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If you are too angry, (and who could blame you if you were?) then don't make the call.


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I wrote down a list of topics to discuss. I'll end the call if she gets nasty. 15 minutes until go time.

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OK, we're pulling for you!

If she gives you any more of the "I can't believe you..." crap, then just say, "Good! B/c it isn't even close to being true!" And change the subject.


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How did the phone call go?

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She didn't answer, which is quite a coincidence, since I didn't want to talk to her. smile

I just left a brief voice mail, "Hey, it's me. Just calling to see how you're holding up. I guess I'll talk to you later, bye."

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wow, we all lost the bet!!!


AnnaBelle Rose

Me: 29 WH:31 DS: 22mths M: almost 6 years, together 7 1/2
I am not a mistake. - ABR
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Yeah, I actually thought she'd answer too. I guess I could have tried calling her affair phone.

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Here's my chatty saturday email to her:
I called you this morning around 2130 your time but didn't get an answer. I can call your 520 number in the future if that's more convenient for you, so you're not having to keep two phones charged.

When did you find out about your dad? I know his asthma has been getting worse, but I had no idea it could be so serious. You said terminal, but what is the prognosis? How much time does he have? Obviously I'll be able to offer your family a lot more support when I'm only 3 hours away at Fort Polk and can take lots of 3 day weekends, but let me know if there's anything I can do in the short term to help them out. Is your dad out of work? How are they financially? Do they need money for food\rent?
Have you been eating and taking care of yourself? I know you're under a lot of stress with all of this going on. How has your hip been lately? Did you get any more medical news about that, or are you still on profile?
Did you ever get that new laptop?

My week was really busy. Tons of network problems and computer issues. An Air Force Major got stranded out in the city because everyone left him, so I had to lead a convoy to go get him back at night. After we shot all the foreign weapons on Sunday, I walked down the mountain in all my gear and I hurt my leg somehow. It hurt to walk around, so much that I was limping. It started getting better on Thursday and it feels fine again today, so I'll probably go for a run after work. We had a big party up at the Russian Officers club to say goodbye to 12 of our staff on Thursday. There are lots of pictures on facebook, but I'm attaching a photo of me with the rest of the 162nd guys before they headed back to Fort Polk. On that note, I now have my own room with no roommate! The staff sergeant I was rooming with left for Fort Polk this morning, and so now I have all the furniture and space to myself. I have some rearranging to do tonight to make use of my new space. I think I'm going to move to the bottom bunk, but that'll mean moving all the pictures of you and us from the top to the bottom. My dad said Apollo has been killing moles in the back yard lately, apparently it's his new thing. I'll see if I can get some more recent pictures of him. I was just remembering in January when we would be talking on the webcam and Apollo would hear your voice and get all excited and start looking around for you, he really missed you even then.

I hope you're holding up alright. If you want to talk this weekend, you know how to reach me. I'm here for you when you need me.

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She replied:
U don't have my 520 number, that lovely one that u mad up and gave to my cdr doesn't exist
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

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