I think you all might be right.

As it stands, he left for up north last night. Texted me around 10.30pm saying his phone was dying, but he was just going to drive the whole way (originally he planned to make a stop halfway). I had asked him for receipts or something to prove where he was .... and I think saying he was going the whole way might have been a way to get around that, since he's just staying with a friend up there.

His friend he is staying with called me back last night but I only listened to the voicemail this morning. He said WH is supposed to be there MONDAY MORNING!!!

Tried calling his friend, but I think he's busy working. Asked him to please call me back to confirm this information.

I am going nuts. I trusted him and believed him when he said he was going up north last night! If he was lying.....well, I don't think there's any hope left for us, Plan B or not. That would just be the last straw. I will wait patiently for his friend to call me back but I feel sick inside.

This hurts to read. (((NP)))

I think you are wise to wait patiently for confirmation from the friend. As hard (impossible) as it sounds, try to stay calm, and don't get worked up until you know what the situation is.

Have the bags packed and letter ready to go when he returns.

NP,

Please calm down and disengage. Again, you are being caught up in the drama.

It doesn't matter what WH is doing or going right now. Focus on you, you kids and your plan. Let nothing else through.

You can do this, you are strong.

I am so sorry NP, I know this is very hard and how much it hurts...Beginagain is right, dont worry about what he is doing right now and Ill add that there is no reason to give up hope right now...just be strong and do what you need to do to take care of yourself...Focus on your plan. Hang in there, K?

You will be fine.

I am trying hard to disengage.

He claims he will have receipts to show me that he was up north last night. But OW H texted me and said he knew WH was at OW's house last night....still trying to get hold of him to find out when, and if he knows if he stayed the night.

AND now, apparently, WH's friend (who hasn't called me back) is NOT up north right now after all, but here in town for a couple days, so there's no way to corroborate the story.

Sigh.

WH is being especially tricky too, saying he's going to try to find some way to send me pictures tonight to prove where he is. He says his phone is broken and can't send pics but I know this is a lie - saw an email he sent to OW a couple days ago. I don't understand the LIES!

ANYWAY. Need to work on packing his things this weekend. I just don't trust a single word out of his mouth anymore.

Wanted to do some painting in the nursery this weekend but realistically....am heavily pregnant and have never painted before. :P It would be tough lol.

I'm so sorry NP. I'm hurting for you right now. I hope you can get some evidence one way or the other.

LilBean won't care if his room doesn't have a fresh coat of paint on it for a while yet. Heck, my kiddos have never had their rooms painted. They are 9 and 7. They want to repaint the room now though. They want 2 walls blue, 2 orange and the ceiling purple. AHHHHHHHHHH Well, it's only PAINT.

DD2 is very excited by all the painting going on and has picked out the most lurid red colour for her own room. Don't have the heart to tell her that I don't want to paint her room bright red......

The problem is that there's already a paint colour sample brushed onto the wall in the nursery. Baby might just have to put up with it!

Stupid WH. He was supposed to finish painting our home and now with half the walls one colour and the other half another, and paint splashes all over the walls, I will have to hire someone to finish it. It's doubtful he is going to be able to finish it before he has to leave.....

((NP)) You don't need evidence honey. Your gut is screaming the truth at you and you don't need the extra stress. Just get ready for plan B. Scotty is right you don't need to worry about painting, the baby won't care.

Please pamper yourself this evening.

Jeez after my WH left we had our christmas tree up ALL YEAR, my lawn was a mess, weeds everywhere....kids dont care about that stuff. The paint can wait. Just take care of you and your kids as best you can right now honey, okay? Dont sweat the unimportant stuff. Take care of yourself especially.....

Sounds like alot of gaslighting going on regarding the trip north. C'mon NP...you know what is going on. Please...please remove yourself from this stress! For the next couple of months the most important things in the world are you and lil bean (and DD2 of course). I'm imploring you to get into your plan B and remove yourself from this drama.

We are here for you NP....

(((NP)))

Thanks, you guys. Going to do my best to take this advice and stop worrying about it for a while....at least until he's back in town.

Had a nice day with DD today anyway. And the sun is out, so that always makes a day better.

Packing up DH's stuff ( bc most of this brings back memories of when he was my DH and not my WH). Sobbing away. This is so hard!!!

Sorry NewPetals. I can relate.

Oh {{HUGS}} NP. Be strong! You have been so strong in helping me, you deserve that strength even more! Just keep thinking that you are doing your best to R your M and this is just the next step. You are doing great!! Go out for ice cream when your done. Something to look forward to. I'm pulling for you, I really am!

{{{NP}}}

Be strong. Take a minute and cry, take some calming deep breaths, then get back to it. Remember, this isn't only for you, this is for little bean and DD.

Thanks guys. Trying to be strong. Everytime i pick up a new pile of clothes to pack away I just break down. And looking around the house is hard too, there's just so much stuff to pack.....

Trying not to cry in front of DD. It's hard because she's following me around.

You are doing a great job! For you, DD and lil bean. I can't say that enough.

Take a break! Go out for ice cream... I love ice cream

MY poor DS caught me crying a lot...just could not be avoided...just do the best you can okay?

I mean I could stop myself from saying the rotten things about him I wanted to rant about on occasion, but the crying I just couldnt control...Your WH did this, not you...if you cry in front of DD its not your fault...I would just tell my DS that I loved and missed WH. Me and DS would cry, on occasion, together. Sometimes it just could not be avoided.

Hang in there, you are doin fine.