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Joined: May 2006
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Good job, rlt and I like the title of your thread. wink


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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Clever, ain't it??

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I think when it comes to family or even close friends, I would have done the same as you rit.
I would have wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt that they would hear my words, respect them considering the source, and do the right thing.

I would have been dealing with this with emotions, rather than logic.
Not so close friends or not family, no emotions involved, I wouldn't give exposure a second thought, I'd be using logic.

I wouldn't want to believe that they are as wayward and selfish as what I saw in my own WS, (or reading here) even though I listened to to him and rolled my eyes. MrRollieEyes

So hindsight is 20/20, lesson learned and not to be repeated.
Based on your experience, I would expose without warning, so thank you for sharing.

I hope that Joey's sees how doing the right thing, trumped your fear of his anger and isolation. pray


M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA


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Thanks for making this thread, rlt. Your situation is a perfect example of why it is a bad idea to forewarn the affairees before you expose. It only results in huge fights between the exposER and the exposee and just diminishes the chance of the victim getting the truth. The WS is going to be mad anyway, so you might as well tell the BS without warning so the message does not get muddied.

Blackmailing a WS into busting himself is futile endeavor that makes the problem worse, not better.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted By: MelodyLane

Blackmailing a WS into busting himself is futile endeavor that makes the problem worse, not better.


Amen, sister. This is true every time.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!


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