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I was avoiding this thread out of disgust but seeing all the posts and activity, I couldn't help but take a look. I am glad I did!!

Rlt, you are AWESOME! I can plainly see who got all the honor, integrity, and courage genes between you and your bro. Guess there wasn't enough left for him.

Your 'dead' to him now too. Wow. Well, you know how I feel about him. Waywards, go figure.


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I found out that that blistering email he sent to me was actually a blast email to several people. It was just horrible, the things he said about me.

Famly members that I've spoken to agree he was wrong, but that I was wrong, too, for outing him. One member actually said of the email that he "had a point." UGHH!!! And, of the waywards ending up together, she said, "Well, stranger things have happened." Like, it would be just fine and dandy with her.

They see me as some pious, sanctimonous and meddlesome person. But, whatever.

They will never get it!

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What? WHAT??? They said he had a point??? puke

Wow. Some people amaze me. I can promise if my sibling had an affair I would not think they had a point. And I would be on them constantly to end it. It's wrong, wrong, wrong.


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
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Well, by sending it to several people, he confirmed the A. No denying it now.

And I have believed for a long time, its not just the active infidels that have wayward mindsets.

You still rock!


Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh
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Hi rlt,

Well, you may have noticed in your brother's thread that I am the person who profanely denegrated him.

I haven't looked here during the last week but I saw this thread continued and wanted to see what the hell could he be saying now, and that some of the people here are accepting.

I saw your action, and all I can say is that you are a hero (heroine). You stood up for what is morally right and you got slapped in your face. You knew what the risk was before you took your action, and did the right thing regardless. THAT is a hero! You may have saved a family.

Someday your little brother will grow up and he will recognize what you did for what it is, and hopefully he will apologize and reconcile with you.

I am a BH, but thankfully it didn;t last long (so good so far), but I just wish you could post to some of the husbands here who do not seem to have the courage to conduct themselves the same as you did.

Simply, you are to be admired.

Thanks,

Tom

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A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Thanks, Tom. And everyone.

I haven't been on MB for a very long time because I was simply just beat up with my own situation with this crap. It's been four years since I learned about my husband's affair, and then learned about previous ones. It was heartwrenching. But my husband is repentent and works everyday to make it all right. We, and many others here, are living proof that you can get through this.

I've learned so much. I am ever so grateful to MB and the wonderful people on this board.

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That's great, Neak!

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Ha Ha !
My DD used to call them "the head cones". grin

What happened? skeptical
I go away for some R&R

???????
....
I am thinking maybe this thread got my "rant" thread shut down???

Oh well ....
>shrug<

I'm happy. That's what really matters.
So .... my "rant 'o' day" is here, on this beaut MrRollieEyes of a thread ...

I do not have thick legs, but I do have large drawers ! blush

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rlt and joey,


As I sit here reading the thread, I think about my own brother who had an affair and betrayed his wife; I consider my husband who betrayed me; I think of my BIL who married his affair partner; my sister who slept with her daughter's husband; my niece who gave birth to OM's child and left her husband for the OM and is now in an affairage; my sister who left her husband for OM - and the OM did not divorce his wife for 18 years....and then never married my sis....but cheated on my sis....ultimately they broke up after this VLTA.......the list goes on.

Then I see Joey here, who knows that rlt is a BW. He sees nothing wrong with what he is doing? Of course he does.

He came here ASKING how to stop the affair.

From my perspective, Joey knew exactly what needed to happen. He knew MB principles, knowing what rlt had gone through, and reading the website.

Could he not see the path? He himself asked how to expose this affair!

rlt helped joey, from where I stand. She only did WHAT JOEY HIMSELF TOLD US HE WANTED TO DO HIMSELF. The difference - joey just lacked the testicular fortitude to do it himself.


joey, as a typical affairee, still wanted what he wanted, when he wanted it.

He just wanted to do his thing - with impunity. He didn't want anyone to judge HIM.

Sorry joey. People DO judge you.

Joey, you were doing the WRONG THING. You know it, I know it, your OW knows it, her husband knows it,

and rlt knows it.

rlt just had the courage to call you on the carpet for your behavior.

You should thank her for grabbing you by the collar and shaking you into consciousness. Instead, you are acting like a spoiled little child who had his toy taken away.

Grow up and meet your moral standards, Joey. What was good for other people in your past - is good for YOU, too.


Schoolbus


Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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Quote:
I found out that that blistering email he sent to me was actually a blast email to several people. It was just horrible, the things he said about me.
Somehow, that doesn't surprise me; folks who knowingly do wrong just seem to have a knack for putting others down. Even worse, they do it all for the sole sake of picking their own-selves up. Argh, how totally pathetic!

Quote:
Famly members that I've spoken to agree he was wrong, but that I was wrong, too, for outing him. One member actually said of the email that he "had a point." UGHH!!! And, of the waywards ending up together, she said, "Well, stranger things have happened." Like, it would be just fine and dandy with her.
Yep, stranger things have happened alright but, then again, most strange things don't tear families apart and leave victims in their wake like W's and their cruel actions do.

No way were you wrong (in any way, shape or form) for spilling the beans. Heck, you should be given a medal!

Quote:
They see me as some pious, sanctimonous and meddlesome person. But, whatever.
Would you prefer your medal in bronze, silver or gold??? ;-)

Quote:
They will never get it!
Probably not, but I'd bet my bottom dollar that if they were in the same boat as most BS's they would be wishing they had brave, courageous, honest "YOU" in their corner to fight for them. Honestly, it's those people like you who make this world a better place.

You did good!

Er, Neak.....

HA HA HA HA HA, that's fricken' hilarious!

Last edited by TandC; 05/17/10 06:16 PM.

Married DH May 5, 1990
DH45 - ME43 - DD18 - DD15

Thanx to MB my M is now back on track and better than ever. MB ROCKS!!!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong
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bwah ha ha, Pep!

I think that it is hard to remember - since we all are so enlightened smile - that most of the world just doesn't "get it" with regard to infidelity. I am a member of a "Christian" site, and a guy came onto the marriage section asking about confessing his affair. There were people telling him that confessing would be selfish, that his W didn't need to know in order to continue loving him, etc. I have also seen people chastened for outing a loved one. I am usually vocally incredulous about all this and get rebuked. Oh well.

So I'm basically saying you all are superior!!

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Here's to hoping that someday...

Joey and his then legitimate wife (and children) raise a toast to you for making it all possible.

As for now...Joey should shut his mouth instead of adding to his future regrets.

Mr. W


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Originally Posted By: rltraveled

They see me as some pious, sanctimonous and meddlesome person. But, whatever.

They will never get it!


When there is name calling I rather be called pious than a pig; sanctimonous than sleazy, meddlesome and caring than self entitled and wayward.

If more people "interfered" in a loving way the world would be a better place.

You chose love for your brother and one day he will realize how much you love him.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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There is NOTHING WRONG with large drawers!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Originally Posted By: rltraveled

Famly members that I've spoken to agree he was wrong, but that I was wrong, too, for outing him. One member actually said of the email that he "had a point." UGHH!!! And, of the waywards ending up together, she said, "Well, stranger things have happened." Like, it would be just fine and dandy with her.

They see me as some pious, sanctimonous and meddlesome person. But, whatever.

They will never get it!


I've sadly come to find that very few people every really get it unless they have been directly involved (or in very close contact) in a marriage tainted by infidelity.

Good job on the exposure. Hopefully your brother will get himself out of the fog and realize what you did for him. Not to him, but for him.


Me - 30 (FWW)
H - 30 (BH)
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**edit***

Last edited by Revera; 05/17/10 08:14 PM. Reason: TOS personal attack
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RLT,

smile Ya done good! Don't let any family criticism cause you to second guess yourself... Your motive was pure.





Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Here's what I have to say about the personal attacks:

Edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, and ESPECIALLY edit!

tl

P.S. Just thought I'd save the mods the trouble...MrRollieEyesflirtMrRollieEyes They can thank me later.

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Originally Posted By: thndrnltng
Here's what I have to say about the personal attacks:

Edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, and ESPECIALLY edit!

tl

P.S. Just thought I'd save the mods the trouble...MrRollieEyesflirtMrRollieEyes They can thank me later.




rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao





Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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