I'm so sorry NP. It's back to Plan B. Change the locks ASAP when he's gone he's seriously stressing you out unnecessarily. Maybe contact her H right now to fill him in that they are talking all this time

This is normal behavior in a relationship triangle. Again, he wants his cake (intact family, with wifey waiting patiently at home while OW patiently waits in the wings).

Please, go with a very dark Plan B. *You* need it for your sanity and physical well-being.

No more Plan A. He has to go until after baby is born. You're 1 week away from being due at any time. Once 37 weeks comes, your caregivers say you could have baby at any time. Baby is "term".

Trust me, you don't want baby's coming into the world tainted any further by his father's actions.

The plan A has gone on too long. Your husband doesn't believe you are seriously *not* willing to tolerate OW. He expects you to back down and shut up.

Is this the memory you want for the final weeks of your pregnancy? Your son's father trying to play mind games so he can have you and OW?

Dark Plan B asap to protect you from further emotional distress.

((((((NP)))))

This is what I thought had to happen. Feel sick to my stomach and SO mad at them.

NP,

I stopped posting on your thread a couple of days ago but I wasn't in agreement with what you were doing but I didn't want to come right out and say it and upset you. Simple fact is that you set the bar extremely low for WH so you got what you got. You went into Plan B and WH comes running home telling you he is done with POSOW (right after his fix) and you let him right back in. Sorry, but I didn't see anything to indicate that he was really wanting to work on the marriage. Words are just words. I can only say the same thing I've said to you already on your thread. Please...please get into a dark Plan B and have no contact with WH until after the baby is born. The health of you and lil bean far outweighs the health of your marriage right now. Time to get serious and stick to your guns.

Sorry for where you are at but you can get through this. Lil bean is counting on you!

(((((NP)))))

I agree with everyone else. You need a majorly dark Plan B for your sanity and for the sake of little bean. You don't need this stress. The first couple of days of Plan B are hard but it gets so much easier for you. If you remember, I went to plan B right after my FR and it did it's job - I got myself together, and now WH is home, as OW totally LBed (though I set a little low of a bar for him to return, in your case, I think you need a REALLY strong high bar set. ). We're here for you, NP, take care of yourself and your little ones.

Darn it, NP, I was afraid it was too easy! Tell him to get out. Plan B. Tell her H what you're doing and what they've been doing.

Tell you WH he is not to foul your airspace further. You will have the IM inform him of the baby's birth. Go back to your birthing plans to let the hospital know who can visit you or see the baby.

NP's WH

{{{{{{NewPetals}}}}}}}

Ditto.

NP. I think you knew this, you just hoped that it wasn't the case. It's understandable.

However. Now you need to muster up all the righteous indignation and downright anger you are feeling and do this right this time.

Because you already tried Plan B and let WH back in so easily, it's going to be extremely important that THIS entry into Plan B - because that is what has to happen if you want to fight for this M, (and remember, no one says you have to - he has given you a "get out of marriage free" card) - THIS entry into Plan B has to be seamless, dark, and absolutely bulletproof.

You give him no wiggle room. HAVE EVERYTHING LINED UP. Locks changed, secure finances, IM, block WH's methods of contacting you...the works.

I also agree 110% w/ notifying the labor and delivery staff re: visitors. You don't need the wayward drama. And your WH doesn't get to be there for his baby's birth. Choice -- meet consequence.

Also, as a previous poster warned, you don't want to run any risk of OW getting a glimpse of your little one, let alone getting her paws on your babe.

I had a bad feeling about this. I feel I should have been more forceful in warning you about FR.

Take home lesson: go w/ your gut. In these cases, it's almost/generally/abso-freakin'-lutely right.

Sorry to hear this, but at least you know now as opposed to when you're days before giving birth or shortly thereafter.

I'm going with the crowd on this one. I'm so sorry. Definitely concentrate on yourself, DD and lil bean right now. Hugs and good luck!

Yup - that "go with your gut" lesson is absolutely right. He was ACTING like his old self, and I was desperate to believe that he was getting out from under the fog - but all the while, I was worried and suspicious.

SO tired of all his wayward-ness. He's been selfish and cruel and still tries to act like this is all my fault.

I will move into Plan B as soon as possible (that is, as soon as I can get him out of the house, he refused to leave last night) and after that.....MAYBE I will want to save the M? Torn on this right now....

Can you enlist your parents' help in moving him out?

He needs to go NOW.

Have someone there who refuses to give him an inch as he bullies his way back into the home while cheating.

He'll back down - all waywards are cowards!

Well hey, I know he's driving to meet his mom tomorrow so she can show him her new place...maybe I can just do all this while he's out.....

When he leaves to meet mom put all of his stuff outside the front door with another copy of your Plan B letter. Have the locks changed and change the garage door opener if you have one. It's really time to get serious NP.

Yes. Shock and awe, NP. This has to nail him to the wall HARD. You've lost some credibility right now, so you've got to regain that. Out he goes.

And remember to let OWH know what's going on.

I still think this is going to work out, NP. You've got to do it right, though.

It's all about you, DD & lil bean right now. Be RELENTLESS on protecting yourself and your children.

Hey!

You are doing okay here.

You laid out your expectations to him, he tried to make it appear for a night that he would follow them. Then, his addiction to OW and hers to him flared up its ugly head.

Now, kindly (Giver here) and firmly state the plan B expectations. He is gone, no contact with you unless he decides to meet your expectation that OW be dumped in every way forever (my wordage isn't to be put in the love letter to him).

Remember, you still are giving a love letter. One with hope for the marriage's future (irregardless of his statement it is over).

Go to B and refocus on building your own strength to get through this and also try to consider that plan B is best worked as using passive resistance while he is gone from the marriage. You don't do anything to worsen the situation but neither do you let your Taker fuel conflict by reacting to his threats and actions.

Protect your financial situation, your children, your own spirit and do not feed into your WH's desire to justify his cruel independant actions.

Stay the course!

And this is what YOU need to do as well. If you haven't had the chance, read Scotland's thread - her Plan B strength should be a good source for you to draw on.