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Joined: May 2010
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OP
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9 |
i have told the mother of my wife and her father, not my parents, my mom is very sick and if she found out she wouldnt come to the party and it would upset my 9 yr. old son
DDAY 4/11/2010
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879
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The only person who will be "upset" will be your WW, if you want to save your marriage you have to tell EVERYONE! I'm sorry, your family and kids will not be upset, they will be on your side and give you all the comfort you need. Which do you want? To be comforted with family and friends? or hide it and think everyone will be upset if you tell everyone? Your choice.
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Joined: Oct 2009
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i have told the mother of my wife and her father, not my parents, my mom is very sick and if she found out she wouldnt come to the party and it would upset my 9 yr. old son This is called "Exposure Lite." It typically does not work. Exposure is intended to create pressure on the waywards. You're easing the waywards into exposure. Look at it like this: if you do a full-blown exposure it's like a tsunami - everyone gets hit at the same time and responds with their pressure at the same time. A little exposure here and a little exposure there, and your WW will have plenty of time between spinning her A to really polish it up. By the time you expose to your mother, WW will have her excuse/lies down to a science. She'll talk to your mother and your mother will walk away thinking you're going through mid-life crisis or something. Each additional attempt at exposure costs you valuable credibility.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Another poster, Redswife, checked in to let everyone know about her recovery. This is what she posted about exposure. I will say to anyone who is skeptical that exposure works. I do not think that my WH would have started coming out of the fog with out having his little secret exposed. He knows that all of our firends and family know and that they will let me know if they see or hear anything that suggests that he's not on the up and up. Also it gave our friends and family a chance to support us through a tough time. she also wrote this as well.... To all that are struggling through an A right now. My piece of advice is to stick to the MB plan, and not to deviate and start adding in your own things. So would you like some help on how to expose this NUCLEAR and get off of "exposure Lite"?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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i have told the mother of my wife and her father Did you tell them the entire story? In your initial posts, you mentioned only that you told them you suspected something: I have told my brother & sister, and let her father and mother know she is doing somthing wrong and i suspect infidelity...But the parents know no details at all. Do they know who it is? Did you expose to POSOM's family to put pressure on him?
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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i have told the mother of my wife and her father, not my parents, my mom is very sick and if she found out she wouldnt come to the party and it would upset my 9 yr. old son Better to disrupt the 9th birthday party than the 10th, don't you think? Or the 13th?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Aug 2005
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Also make back ups of every piece of documentation you have and put them in a safe place- preferably not at your home. You do not want that to disappear.
Expose- don't threaten- do it. She will be furious but your marriage can stand the anger- not the affair.
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Joined: Oct 2009
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i have told the mother of my wife and her father, not my parents, my mom is very sick and if she found out she wouldnt come to the party and it would upset my 9 yr. old son Your mother is well enough to go to a birthday party but too sick to support you?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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As in what OM is doing to your wife as you clean pelicans? *snort* OMG !!!
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