Page 14 and NOW you believe us?

well, not sure...

I need some advice on how to handle WW right now, should i continue exposing and have her hear that I know from someone else? or should I call her first?

What do I do with suspected OM? The VAR Man doesnt really sound like him the few words he says. So I am not sure...

omg... ouch, it hurts...

Keeping my heart rate around 100 (which is good, it was about 140 while listening to the thing for the first time, normal resting rate is about 70 bpm)

Mark, I deserve that. I know I do.

It still hurts.

Just letting you know...

Your last encounter with her today was a pretty good way to end Plan A and begin Plan B.

Pack her up.

But Chrisner...

Plan B is not a "punishment," its to protect MY love bank.

I am good on LB$ inventory. I still want her. I can Plan A for a while yet. I dont think that would be using Plan B as its intended.

Now maybe Plan B to protect my SON from her? IDK.

Thoughts?

Yes, soul shattering is a good way to put it. BT, i know you won�t believe this right now, but it IS going to be ok. Right now your only job is to try to breathe. You know now. Keep calm even though you want to vomit, and if you do that�s ok too, we�ve all done it.

I remember the same feeling when my WW swore to me it was all over and then I found used condom packets in the bedroom. It is horrible.

Time to breathe and plan. Exposure now is a must and you have all you need. It is the OM you thought it was, don�t worry about computer matching voices and all. Your gut is telling you what you need to know.

Get your exposure letter together and post it. It is actually good she is away this weekend, you can start to process this and do your nuclear exposure and get our advice for dealing with her incredible anger when she finds out and is on her way home.

Keep posting, it�s gonna be ok. Every single one of us has made it through this alive.

SWW

This aint over by a long shot! It is only getting started, but now you have the weapons, the intel and the plan to fight!!!

No plan B now, expose, plan A, reverse babble, it is all coming together just like we said it would.

SWW

My VAR recording put a 25mm round right through the old love bucket. There was nothing left.

But if you can keep going after that it's your choice.

Finish your exposure to all and then call her back home.

BT, so sorry to read this latest development. I know what it was like seeing PICTURES of them together - I can only imagine what it would be like hearing it.

Are you sure you can Plan A for a while? My advice would be - if you think you can, go ahead, but in the meantime get everything ready for a very quick and swift Plan B. Trust me. Your mind can change in a second....you've read my thread so you know how fast it happened for me.

Get going with exposure. It'll be okay. {{{BT}}}

BT listen to SWW, NUCLEAR EXPOSURE and post to get advice on dealing with her anger and fog bable when she finds out.

She is going to be angry but she will get over it. And keep breathing, it will be okay......

BT,

I have to go to the airport to pick up my son. I will be back later. I posted a thread asking some of the vets to check in on you.

Keep breathing dude!

It's time for us all to help you put up the fight you need to put up to save your M.

I told you before, it is going to be alright!

SWW

K, continueing on with Exposure. Calling the Radio Show in 42 minutes, will maybe get more info there.

NP, good point. Yes I am sure I can Plan A for a while, but you are also right. I will start looking up Day Care for my son and consider a lawyer so I can evict her if needed.

BT, I am so sorry.

Remember, BT, she's been wayward for awhile. It was wayward for her to date outside of your marriage.

I know this makes it more tragic, though, and I am so sorry you and your son are having to go through this.

What you need to do is start making Plan B preparations immediately, but don't pull that trigger until you've done a good Plan A, and definitely don't pull that trigger (the Plan B trigger) until you've talked to Steve Harley.

The carrot of Plan A, the stick of Plan A, and the preparations for being able to start Plan B at a moment's notice.

You're going to have a lot of questions for what all that entails. Take it as slow as you need to to get good answers to your questions and make a good plan.

You can do this.

BT you will be okay just keep breathing and keep exposing, the more the better.

Anyone that will HELP you fight for your marriage, if you do not think they will help don't bother telling them.

And find the OMW NOW and expose to her!

I'll be listening for you on the radio show.

Where was your 15 month old son during the recording?

So sorry to see this BT,

**I AM NOT A LAWYER***
I just wanted to note that since you are in NC, you have some extra legal tools at your disposal that most people in these situations dont have access to, including filing with fault under adultery, 'alienation of affection' and 'divorce from bed and board'. Im not sure you are aware of these but it might be important to bear them in mind as you proceed.

Even if you dont want or intend to divorce her, it might be good for her (and OM) to know that you have the power to turn her out of the home with no immediate access to joint money or assets, you will never pay her any alimony, she may have to immediately demonstate the ability to house and support your son or else you could get full temporary custody, her adultery may be considered when assessing permanent custody, and you can sue the OM for millions of dollars and possibly get a RO against him being around your son. All of this can put you in a pretty significant position of power over your situation, which is a luxury I dont think many BSs have.

However, all of these require 'proof by greater weight of the evidence' of physical adultery. My understanding is that you have records of high phone use and a difficult to hear VAR. Im afraid that these might not be sufficient proof, especially if its difficult to make out voices. I will not suggest holding off on exposure since that seems to be the first order of business on these forums, but I dont think any other state has such tough laws that you can employ so people on here may not immediately consider these. I really suggest you talk to a lawyer ASAP to figure out what tools you have at your disposal, and whether you require more concrete evidence of adultery. Im just afraid that once you expose, this could get much more difficult to obtain.

Good luck!

I think you should spend enough time prepping a good list of people to expose to before you start. A really good list. Exposure needs to be a tsunami of truth that overwhelms the affair. EVERYBODY important, all in the same day. Don't trickle it out, and don't jump into it real fast if all you're going to do is trickle it out.

Build it up and then go nuclear.

Feel free to get the other parts of your plans in place, as well.

Just my opinion. You'll be getting lots of opinions.

Stay strong. You can fight this.

BT your son is with you now right?