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teaser_8 #2379784 05/26/10 04:23 PM
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Teaser,

Go to the Surviving an Affair forum and at the top left hand of the thread listing there is a button called "New Topic"

Click on that, enter a thread title and enter your question and information.

Good luck.

Last edited by chrisner; 05/26/10 04:34 PM.

Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
chrisner #2379802 05/26/10 04:50 PM
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Thanks!


BS me 55yrs
WH 59 yrs
M 34 yrs 6/26/2010
DD 25
D Day May 5, 2010
NC 5/12/2010
Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
teaser_8 #2380144 05/26/10 09:05 PM
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Can't wait to find out what happened tonight anne!!

Let us KNOW ASAP smile

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Originally Posted by SapphireReturns
Can't wait to find out what happened tonight anne!!

Let us KNOW ASAP smile

Me too! I've been away at my new house painting all day and the first thing I did was log on to check Anne's thread. I really didn't expect much since she isn't going to OW's house until this evening....but still couldn't wait to log on.

Anne, glad you are getting your keylogger. It is AMAZING what you will find...especially if he generally keeps it with him...he will never susupect you've loaded software on it to track everything he does.

chrisner #2380397 05/27/10 10:09 AM
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So how was the party?

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Here is the latest:

I went with WH and two kids to OW's house last night. On the surface, it was very normal and if I didn't know better, it would have served the purpose WH intended it to (i.e., to get me comfortable and show that they are "just friends"). However, I was on guard and noticed things I probably would otherwise not have. Here are the high points:

1. He made a point to call her and ask for her house number. He acted like he had never been there and even drove past it and had to go back. I know for a fact he was there in November and he is one of those people who remembers exactly how to get somewhere after being there only one time (seriously, the man can remember how to get to places he was at from his childhood over 20 years ago). He put on a good act though.

2. The two of them talked a LOT and made little effort to include me in the converation. It was mostly about her dog and then a little about her job situation (she's starting a new job in a week). He's right, she talks a lot! It was blah, blah, blah for the entire time we were there.

3. WH was VERY nervous. I'm not sure if I would have picked up on that or not if I didn't know what I know but he was jittery in a very subtle way. I could tell he was on edge and he had a nervous energy that he seemed to be trying to control.

4. WH almost tripped on her dogs leash and she made some comment about how she would have had to have told that story to all "everyone we know" and then she sort of corrected herself and said "I would have told everyone I know."

5. Here is a line from an email to Dirtbag Friend yesterday: "I am going over to ButterFace/OW's house tonight with Anne and the boys to see her new dog, and her and my wife to finally meet." No reply from DF but I am dying to see what he says. They made plans to talk but he may have done so from his office. The conversations in the car have been limited lately so I'm not sure if he suspects I'm listening in or what.

that's all I can remember rigth now. My head is spinning. I see now more than ever that I need to have iron-clad proof before I confront. So now, I wait.


anne505 #2380407 05/27/10 10:21 AM
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Originally Posted by anne505
Here is the latest:

I went with WH and two kids to OW's house last night. On the surface, it was very normal and if I didn't know better, it would have served the purpose WH intended it to (i.e., to get me comfortable and show that they are "just friends"). However, I was on guard and noticed things I probably would otherwise not have. Here are the high points:

1. He made a point to call her and ask for her house number. He acted like he had never been there and even drove past it and had to go back. I know for a fact he was there in November and he is one of those people who remembers exactly how to get somewhere after being there only one time (seriously, the man can remember how to get to places he was at from his childhood over 20 years ago). He put on a good act though.

2. The two of them talked a LOT and made little effort to include me in the converation. It was mostly about her dog and then a little about her job situation (she's starting a new job in a week). He's right, she talks a lot! It was blah, blah, blah for the entire time we were there.

3. WH was VERY nervous. I'm not sure if I would have picked up on that or not if I didn't know what I know but he was jittery in a very subtle way. I could tell he was on edge and he had a nervous energy that he seemed to be trying to control.

4. WH almost tripped on her dogs leash and she made some comment about how she would have had to have told that story to all "everyone we know" and then she sort of corrected herself and said "I would have told everyone I know."

5. Here is a line from an email to Dirtbag Friend yesterday: "I am going over to ButterFace/OW's house tonight with Anne and the boys to see her new dog, and her and my wife to finally meet." No reply from DF but I am dying to see what he says. They made plans to talk but he may have done so from his office. The conversations in the car have been limited lately so I'm not sure if he suspects I'm listening in or what.

that's all I can remember rigth now. My head is spinning. I see now more than ever that I need to have iron-clad proof before I confront. So now, I wait.


He doesn't suspect. He thinks he is too smart for you. Keep on what you are doing. You are doing GREAT!!!

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Yeah, but did she actually have a "butterface"?


schtoop #2380527 05/27/10 12:29 PM
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Thanks SmilingWoman. Hopefully something will break soon. I need WH and Dirtbag to talk in the car because I'm sure Dirtbag has something to say about us meeting. Hopefully, he responded to WH's email about us meeting.

Schtoop - LOL. As the saying goes, she is nothing to write home about. I have seen pictures of her so I knew what to expect. She's blond, a little on the heavy side, rather plain and not such a pretty face. She was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants.

About 20 minutes after we left, she wrote "I'm really glad that today is over. It was not a fun day." as her Facebook status. Really, ButterFace?!? Now you know how I feel!

anne505 #2380575 05/27/10 01:04 PM
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Anne, you are soo brave to go to her HOUSE! It has been 5 months! How long are you willing to let this A take over your marriage? You have emails, voice recording! What all do you need to expose this A? If your husband denies this A, then I would go straight into Plan B! He'll know your not kidding!

Your thread makes me not sleep at night because I just want your WH to be punished for taking you to his OW house! I just want to puke

See what you can do to get those PIX!! Can you email him back?

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Originally Posted by SapphireReturns
Anne, you are soo brave to go to her HOUSE! It has been 5 months! How long are you willing to let this A take over your marriage? You have emails, voice recording! What all do you need to expose this A? If your husband denies this A, then I would go straight into Plan B! He'll know your not kidding!

Your thread makes me not sleep at night because I just want your WH to be punished for taking you to his OW house! I just want to puke

See what you can do to get those PIX!! Can you email him back?

There's the problem, SR - Anne's intel is incomplete and can be spun. The one thing that would nail her H would be the photos that an anonymous emailer told her he had. Without those she's got zilch that would nail her H. Confronting him now will drive him completely underground, and he's darned good at avoiding detection now as it is.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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SapphireReturns - I've known about it for two months but have no idea how long it's actually been going on. What I need is SOLID proof and I just don't have it. I have enough for me to know that something bad is going on but everything I have (the emails and voice recordings) is something he could spin and that's exactly what he will do. I have made it this far and feel it would be stupid to stop before I get what I need.

What helps me get through this is the knowledge that he WILL be punished once I get what I need.

As for the pictures, I did email back but never received a reply. I think one of the friends probably just wanted to mess with WH and put a scare in him (these jerks LOVE to play sick practical jokes on one another). He probably had no intention of sending me the pictures or he would have done so already.

Last edited by anne505; 05/27/10 01:39 PM.
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That's why I suggested to go into Plan B smile

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I wish his friend had the BALLS to send you those pix! If I had pix of an A and I new his wife was pregnant and has two other kids! I would have sent him the next morning.

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Originally Posted by SapphireReturns
That's why I suggested to go into Plan B smile

I see your point but I'm not ready for that yet. I feel like him wanting me to meet her means that they are going to escalate things which will get me closer to the proof that I need in order to proceed.

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Originally Posted by SapphireReturns
I wish his friend had the BALLS to send you those pix! If I had pix of an A and I new his wife was pregnant and has two other kids! I would have sent him the next morning.

The friend that took the pictures has had numerous affairs with women in South and Central America (he meets them online and goes to visit them but tells his wife he is travelling to other areas on business). I don't think he has one ounce of decency in him.

anne505 #2380629 05/27/10 01:52 PM
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Maybe you should email him back and say

"Guess you don't have the balls to send the pix."

Or

"Do you randomly email married woman telling them that you have pix of there husband with another woman? And not send the pix?"

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Quote
Maybe you should email him back and say

"Guess you don't have the balls to send the pix."

Or

"Do you randomly email married woman telling them that you have pix of there husband with another woman? And not send the pix?"

I think that's what she did do. It's back a few pages. No response.


Anne, if you got the undeniable smoking gun today, what are you planning on doing?


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
chrisner #2380668 05/27/10 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by chrisner
Anne, if you got the undeniable smoking gun today, what are you planning on doing?

Once I have proof that I feel comfortable with, I will confront and give him the opportunity to go to counseling with me to fix our marriage. If he's unwilling to do that, it's off to a divorce attorney I go...

anne505 #2380675 05/27/10 02:33 PM
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I'll have a lot more then that!!

1. NC with OW
2. NC with his dirtbag friends! (I would even block there numbers!)
3. MC with SH
4. Passwords to EVERYTHING!
5. He would have to tell you exactly where he is at every min of the day.

Those would be just the starting ones smile

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