You want to sue whom? Your WW? The OM? On what grounds?

I was thinking of suing the hotel. I am getting everything ready for exposure, but am considering going back home to my city when this happens. I want to file a restraining order with the local police and get my wife out of our apartment. OM has guns and is violent so these steps I think are necessary.

I tried talking to her last night, and she was just upset about my smoking lately. I tried explaining that right now I am on a rollercoaster ride and unfortunately the smoking is helping (pretty weak of an excuse I admit). We tried talking about the mess but again she came back with I just want the both of us to just forget this and move. That she is doing everything to get over this and it is getting harder as I won't let go. My reply was that WE ARE NOT DOING THIS YOUR WAY ANYMORE. We are going to do this the right way no matter how long it takes.

Again, I feel like she is trying to sweep the dust under the carpet. I can hear her impatience on the phone, and I have to admit she might get to the point of just giving up. I think I am ok with that now as I too am just fed up that I cant move forward with my personal life with her attitude. The more and more the minutes go by, the stronger I am feeling about exposing this to everyone. I just need to iron out the issues regarding our physical safety and am now considering getting a gun for our protection.

culinary, I think you are losing the focus again, which is a big part of the reason why this has been dragged out so long. If you expose while you are out of town, then there is nothing to worry about. But I don't think you can file a restraining order because you are scared of someone.

If you are scared of him, you can always carry your weapon to protect yourself.
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Can we get back on track here? What are your next steps? Are you doing the exposure today?

Please stop bringing it up for now. Expose the affair and once the dust settles, then go to her with the list I gave you and tell her your conditions.

Also, now I see the errors of my mistake regarding not exposing this earlier to OM's GF. That baby has a right to a peaceful, loving, and stable home. Not with a trashy father that violates the sanctity of the home.

Also, anger is building up inside of me regarding the facts that my wife not only had the affair, was dishonest with me for so darn long, but is placing me in danger. Is the fog around her head so darn thick that she can't see the danger this has caused?

yes the exposure will have to come today

I don't think the fact that two consenting adults decided to have sex in a building is grounds for suing the owners of the building. I also don't think you have grounds for a restraining order against OM. He has not physically threatened you in any way, correct?

These issues are serving as a distraction from the main thing you should be concentrating on, and that is EXPOSURE.

culinary, that is exactly the right attitude. You can take charge of this mess and lead your wife out of the fog. Once she is out of the fog, she will realize what she has done.

Be strong and go forward, friend!

How far from home are you?
Why are you not at home?

How do you know this?

Violent people usually have a history of violence.
People with a history of violence usually have a felony record.
It is illegal for a felon to posses a fire arm.

So.... How do you know he has guns and is violent?

1. More than likely you have nothing to worry about when it comes to physical safety. Most OM's are actually pansies when you get past there initial bravado.

2. Every law abiding citizen should have a gun. For home defense let me suggest a "pump action 12 gage" The sound alone is almost always enough to run off any intruder.

3. Expose to OM's GF, the hotel they worked at, and OM's Facebook friends ASAP, do not tell your WW wife about it.
Do not worn anyone about it, just do it.

Unless I misunderstood, they both worked for the hotel during the affair, and OM still works there.




What is OM's position at this Hotel?

He still has no grounds for a lawsuit. Now. On the other hand. His WW may have a case for sexual harassment, if it was a quid pro quo situation. For example, if he told her she had to have sex with him or she would be fired. Or she wouldn't get a promotion. That kind of thing. OR - her co-workers can file against him for sexual harassment if they knew about the affair and claimed that it created a hostile work environment for them. Again, proof is required for these claims. But it sounds to me like culinary has proof that the A was consensual, ergo, no sexual harassment lawsuit for his WW.

As far as the weapons go: culinary, it would be very easy for anyone to go out and buy a handgun. The fact that OM already has them means little. Don't blackmail yourself into throwing away what is easily the most effective tool that you have to ensure the end of this A: EXPOSURE to his gf.

Thank God you weren't the OWH in my sitch, or I would never have found out about my H's A!

Just because he has guns doesn't mean he is going to shoot you. He would be stupid to do that knowing he would be the prime suspect.

Normally it's the BS who pulls out the Smith & Wesson. Don't let fear rule you, culinary. He's probably afraid of YOU.