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Still_Crazy #2381397 05/28/10 02:18 PM
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OMG BT ... I am so SO sorry your in this terrible situation right now. I cant offer any advice but just wanted to let you know that i felt my heart sink and a big ball of stress swell up in my gut when i seen you used a VAR and the outcome it gave you.

You are handling this very well considering the circumstances ... had i been in your shoes i'd prolly be in jail now and someone would be dead.

Be Strong for your son, its time to set off a nuclear explosion of exposure. Hell hath no fury like when a POSOM comes in between a husband and his wife. Use the fuel of your inner rage to SPAM this news to alllll that you can. NOW is the time to fight for your wife and for your son and the happy marriage you long for. You can do this, you CAN restore your marriage and make the affair so ugly to them that they will want to end it.

chrisner #2381402 05/28/10 02:28 PM
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He was probably sleeping or she might have put him in 1hr day care for the sole purpose of doing this.

I dont know for sure, either way is pretty bad...


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2381405 05/28/10 02:32 PM
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Listening to you, man!


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
markos #2381407 05/28/10 02:33 PM
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Is that your son I'm hearing in the background?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
BTinTrouble #2381408 05/28/10 02:33 PM
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BT,

I will leave the exposure/details advice to the vets, but if Fade is right about NC marital dissolution law, you may want to secure harder evidence than that 6 min of VAR before you expose and before you let your WW know how you found out.

Those are valuable assets you'd want to lock in before you lose the chance.

No "I told you so" from me, just hang in there....

HBS


Me 41
W 38

Married 10 years, together 13

3 Kids: DS5, DS2 and DD1
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I'm listening too BT!!!


Me 41
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Originally Posted by sickwithworry
BT,

I have to go to the airport to pick up my son. I will be back later. I posted a thread asking some of the vets to check in on you.

Keep breathing dude!

It's time for us all to help you put up the fight you need to put up to save your M.

I told you before, it is going to be alright!

SWW

BT, I haven't posted to you because you seemed adamant to remain clueless about your WW's infidelity. I'm sorry to see that everyone was right about the affair. At least you know now and can proceed with facts in your pocket. You know, of course, that you must now do a nuclear exposure, right? Have you located his wife yet? Because you know the OM is the guy you've suspected all along - WW's just been easing you into the whole thing by calling him her future 'roommate'. FYI, you can type HIS name into people finder engines, and a lot of the sites will bring up associated names. Her name will come up.

You'll be getting plenty of advice - one thing is essential: you must expose this A to every Tom, [censored] & Harry who is anywhere near having influence over your WW and her AP.

And I certainly hope you have explained to your WW that she isn't taking your son anywhere, yes?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

markos #2381417 05/28/10 02:42 PM
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Originally Posted by markos
Is that your son I'm hearing in the background?

Let me tell you, BT, I'm glad to hear your little boy playing so happy. Take care of him. Such a sweet little guy doesn't deserve this ... but he's lucky to have you.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
markos #2381418 05/28/10 02:43 PM
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When you do expose, don't tell your wife how you know, okay? You don't know how long this will last or how much more evidence you will need, and you don't want her to cut off any of your sources of information.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
markos #2381420 05/28/10 02:44 PM
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Great to hear you on the radio stream. I think I can speak for most posters... WAY TO GO!

hurray

markos #2381421 05/28/10 02:45 PM
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I was listening too ... first time ever listening to the radio on there. I think ill be listening more often. I too heard the little one in the background.

My prayers go out for you!

BTinTrouble #2381437 05/28/10 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by BTinTrouble
I can not even closely positively identify OM as the Mans voice, so I am kinda confused there. I am sure there is a way to get a sample of his voice and have a machine positively match them, but I dont know how to do that and its memorial day weekend. I am considering asking him point blank, since I kinda dont think its him, oddly enough, and ask him if he's willing to provide a voice sample. But I dont know.

BT, you need to stop being silly. You KNOW who it was so stop acting like you don't. Don't "ask" a liar to tell the truth, tell him you know.

Quote
When do I confront WW? Should I call her now? I already sent the audio file to my dad and an aunt, so she cant make me get rid of it or recover it.

Expose the affair everywhere. Then call up the OM and let him know you have him on tape doing her in his bed. Tell him he is to never contact your wife again.

YOU NEED TO EXPOSE TO HIS WIFE THIS WEEKEND.


Do not "ask" the adulterers if they are having an affair. TELL THEM you know. When you expose the affair, simply say that "my wife and Joe Scumbag are having an affair and I have the recorded evidence of them having sex in my bed on May 25, 2010. Her plan was to leave me and get an apartment with him."

Don't equivocate or qualify. Say it straight out.



"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MrNiceGuy #2381441 05/28/10 03:10 PM
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What did Dr Harley say, BT?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2381449 05/28/10 03:19 PM
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just a brief post to say...

If you choose you could tell her you had a nannycam in the bedroom and you fully intend to send the video file to everyone you two know if she doesn't come home NOW.

Don't give away the VAR. Just stick to the story that you've got a video of her and OM having sex and it's hidden in a safe spot for release when you need it. You'll be able to verify you have it by repeating a few of the things you heard on the VAR. Fortunately, a nanny cam...just like the VAR doesn't time stamp the intelligence so neither way will you be forced to come up with an exact time (though try to figure out what's on the Television so you can figure out what show is on and get a time and maybe a date).

Mr. W


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
MelodyLane #2381451 05/28/10 03:23 PM
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Same thing you did but a lil nicer, and some info on recovery and how Plan A is important, not to attack and AO etc etc

Yes it was my son, we went outside so the dog could occupy him while I was distracted on phone.

Ok, I will continue assuming its OM. Going to block his number on my wifes phone right now.

Talked to a lawyer right now. The judge can apparently decide whatever he/she wants, and the infedelity only comes into play on the alimony thing. Calling another lawyer about the "alienation of affection" thing.


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2381452 05/28/10 03:25 PM
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Originally Posted by BTinTrouble
I am not sure I recognize the voice, might not be OM...

How do I go about verifying that?

BT, you're doing it again. Of course it's OM! Are you kidding me?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

maritalbliss #2381453 05/28/10 03:25 PM
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The OM is with her, isn't he?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


maritalbliss #2381455 05/28/10 03:27 PM
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kkk, I got it, assuming its OM

Ok

Exposure list

WGrandma (done)
Best friend in CA1 (done)
my dad, my aunt (have copies of the voice thing)
going through the rest of my phone to call all the family i have numbers for

Also, I have been checking her friends on facebook and will be sending a message to approximately 80 of them as well.

OMW I am going to pay a bit more into the search engines to contact her tonight if possible.


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2381458 05/28/10 03:28 PM
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OM should be home with his wife this weekend, per my WW.

I suppose when I call her tonight (assuming the internet coughs up her number) I will find out for sure.


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2381461 05/28/10 03:35 PM
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Originally Posted by BTinTrouble
OM should be home with his wife this weekend, per my WW.

I suppose when I call her tonight (assuming the internet coughs up her number) I will find out for sure.

Waywards lie, BT. Don't believe anything that comes out of her mouth. And Do Not tell her that you are exposing this!


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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