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BTinTrouble #2382074 05/29/10 09:41 PM
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BT- It is truly awesome to watch you grow stronger and stronger. You are doing great. Sleep in YOUR bed. Reclaim it.

One thing I told my WW when she questioned me about exposure was to say, I was just sharing the good news about your new found happiness. I was honest about it though. I never told her exactly what I said, but if she asked me if I talked to so and so, I would answer truthfuly.

Go get some well earned rest.


-SOL
BTinTrouble #2382085 05/29/10 10:14 PM
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Originally Posted by BTinTrouble
Hey, whoever caught my slip with my name, thank you, there is a quote by Maritalbliss that still has it, if you wouldnt mind editing it out marital.

Got it, BT. I notified the Mods.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

maritalbliss #2382089 05/29/10 10:27 PM
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Sleep tight, BT. You and your little fellow. hug


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

maritalbliss #2382090 05/29/10 10:30 PM
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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Originally Posted by BTinTrouble
Hey, whoever caught my slip with my name, thank you, there is a quote by Maritalbliss that still has it, if you wouldnt mind editing it out marital.

Got it, BT. I notified the Mods.

MB, you can edit that post yourself. Just click on edit.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2382093 05/29/10 10:42 PM
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
MB, you can edit that post yourself. Just click on edit.
Thanks, Mel. I thought there was a time limit on editing. It's all good, BT.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Pepperband #2382139 05/30/10 02:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
About the $$$ .....

Make a notation in your truth journal:

Date
transferred (amount) from ( account) to (account)
Reason: possible security compromise of account #1


WELL DONE YOU !!!
Stay frosty.

BT,

For the sake of having credible evidence, journals should be in spiral notebooks or bound blank books. No loose leaf. Just 1 day after another, recorded in a book that has pages that cannot be tampered with. Preferably in an assortment of pens/ink colors.... whatever came to hand that day. With cross outs and misspellings left in place.

You need your notes to reek of authenticity.


Chrysalis
Pepperband #2382140 05/30/10 03:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Hopefully we are not overloading you with info.

Here's one more tid-bit.

NEVER call OM by name.

ALWAYS refer to OM as "Kathy's husband".
Or whatever OMW first name is.

Do not call OM nasty names in front of your wife. Here on the forum, call him whatever you like.
In front of WW it is "Kathy's husband".

This is huge, do not underestimate it. You have a name. You are not a nameless "my husband" to your wife or her AP. You have a name. Never, never, never allow yourself to be demoted to "my husband." Trust me on this. Force them to use and confront your name. They hate to do that. It stirs their conscience. You must insist.


Chrysalis
Chrysalis #2382148 05/30/10 06:03 AM
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Ok, awake again.

Last night was bad... right before bed OMW Daughter sent a text saying her mom had said that OM has herpes and chlamydia.

Called her and asked to confirm, and she just said she heard that.

I will call OMW and see if I can confirm...

I dont know that I could forgive a whore if she came back bringing gifts that keep on giving.

A whore maybe, since that is a habit that can be changed.

But filth and disease - thats with you for life.

I think I will have to be tested too, since I dont remember the date of the last time we had SF (I didnt know it would be the last time then...).

I am going to hold on for a while, and I might hold on at least to break her fog because I love her and dont like to see her damaging and lowering herself.

But honestly... she did this.

Lots to think about.

I feel a lot better getting almost 6 hours of sleep.

Thank you to my aunt who talked to me so I didnt have to cry myself asleep alone.

I love you.


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2382149 05/30/10 06:37 AM
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Please, if you have been cheated on, think you have been cheated on or have cheated.........GET TESTED.

Knowledge is power !

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I have bound (not spiral, hard cover bound) notebooks and used that for my journal. I am also using it record what I feed my son so I can balance his diet cuz I forget what breakfast was by dinner.... I figure it shows that I am parenting too I guess.

I posted a picture of OM on WW's and my facebook pages with a brief version of the exposure and request for help as the caption.

Last edited by BTinTrouble; 05/30/10 07:16 AM.

Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2382154 05/30/10 07:21 AM
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Talking to OMs family is just crazy.

He has nothing that she would want in a partner. He is a terrible father, his daughter wont speak to him, he misses all their birthdays, all 4 of them (3 kids and OMW) say he is never home and appears to make no effort to BE home.

They are nearly positive he has done this several times already, but they just never had positive proof.

Obviously he lies and cheats.

So, terrible father, liar, cheater, manipulative, dishonest...

It lets me know that FOR SURE this cannot last.

But she ate it all up and did this anyway.

I just cant believe it, even still. F*ing craziness. The worst dream I ever had.

This morning, my 16 month old woke up, opened his door and I waved from the bed. He came over and we slept for another half hour. I think he gets cold in the morning and thats why he is waking up before 7 am now.

I love him. I cant believe his mother is doing this to him.


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2382155 05/30/10 07:27 AM
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OH NO!

WW just called... I dont know what to do!

I didnt answer it since I didnt know.

She probably has seen the posts on her facebook.

I am not going to answer if I dont have a plan.

Any thoughts?


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2382157 05/30/10 07:31 AM
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I suppose I could answer and just let her talk? Do the fog thing? I dont know... sheesh... I keep thinking I got a good idea, but then the moment hits and its like I havent practiced so I forget everything.

I dont want to mess things up, but sheesh...

she didnt leave a voice message so I assume it wasnt going to be a nice phone call.


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2382160 05/30/10 07:35 AM
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Well, all you really have to remember is DON'T ENGAGE A WAYWARD. It is crazy making. Be your broken record. Other than that, if she becomes abusive or you become angered, hang up. It would be better to not say anything then to engage and love bust.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Scotland #2382164 05/30/10 07:45 AM
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thanks Scotland


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2382165 05/30/10 07:54 AM
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It's perfectly OK not to take a call.
That is your prerogative.

If WW was having an emergency, she would have left a message.


BTinTrouble #2382166 05/30/10 07:55 AM
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Don't talk about your relationship.

Don't beg her to come back.

You just told the truth.

She wants to come back NC with the OM.

Let her rant.

Then change the subject but try and fill the need for conversation.

WW wants a D, tell her you don't talk D that's for your lawyer to do. You only talk marriage.

TheRoad #2382167 05/30/10 07:56 AM
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I wonder if OM and WW now know that OMW knows?

TheRoad #2382168 05/30/10 07:58 AM
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"It's perfectly OK not to take a call.
That is your prerogative."

Pepper is a smart one.

We most often forget that we do not always have to respond and many times no response is the best course to take.

TheRoad #2382174 05/30/10 08:40 AM
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Yes, OM and WW know that OMW knows.

WW gets facebook on her phone, since she called me, I know she has seen that.

Also, OMs son called him last night after he found out about it.

Everyone knows, and now over 700 people on facebook can see a picture of OM on WWs walls with a brief exposure and request for help getting her to end the affair.


Lifelong recovery never ends.

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