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anne505 #2382253 05/30/10 01:16 PM
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Keylogger is isntalled on his laptop. One problem though...does anyone know how to find out the "host" or smtp or whatever so I can confingure it to email me the reports? I wasn't sure about that. But, it's on there and will record everything and I can check it (and configure the email option) the first chance I get.

So he lied to me and told me he had to work and went to the casino with Dirtbag. For some reason, the VAR did not record today so I didn't get to hear much but there probably wasn't much to hear anyway since they take Dirtbag's car. It's likely that all I missed was him calling Dirtbag to tell him he was on his way over.

So more lies but not the BIG lies I'm waiting for. I guess he's bound to slip up sooner or later. Thanks for listening and let me know if you have any experience with setting up a keylogger to email to a yahoo account.

anne505 #2382263 05/30/10 01:46 PM
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It has been a year since I put it on WXHs computer, so I don't remember...I used Eblaster and it was really easy. What brand did you get? I thought I remembered the program just asking me for the email address that I wanted the reports forwarded to. If no one here answers you, go to the website of the product you bought and see if you can find the answer there....or call them on their 800 number...it makes it so much easier if it is sent to your email...you never even have to touch his lap top again. I kept getting reports on Xhs after he moved out.

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I think your exposure one of these times would be to show up at the casino with a key to a storage unit and say, "what other lies have you told me? Schedule a lie detector test, let me choose the questions, and maybe, I will consider letting you come home, depending on if I finally hear the truth."

KaylaAndy #2382548 05/31/10 09:18 AM
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SmilingWoman - I use "Cheater Checker Viewer" which is from Pandora PC. I found the information on their website. I didn't have time to deal with it yesterday because the battery on his laptop was almost out and I didn't want it to die while I was using it. Hopefully the next time I get to his computer, I will get it set up and won't have to worry about it again. At least it's on there! I also had a glitch with my VAR. It was skipping during recording and I don't know why. It caused me to miss some key parts of a conversation he had with Dirtbag. Why do I feel like thechnology is out to get me...LOL! If I can't get it set up, I will buy Eblaster.

KaylaAndy - I go through exposure and confrontation in my head all the time. Still trying to figure out the best way and time to do it. I need more solid information first. I'm working hard to follow my instincts. Although I often find myself wanting to just confront him with what I have, it doesn't feel right. In fact, when I feel the impulse to do that, I give it a few minutes and then once I have calmed down, I am so glad I didn't do it because I feel like it would be a huge mistake. I would love to subject him to a lie detector test. I feel like that may be the only way for me to ever get the truth.


anne505 #2382551 05/31/10 09:24 AM
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if he deny's these allegations then I would tell him this...

you say: "If you are telling the truth, then you would have no worry or excuse taking a polygraph test?"

WH: "Sure!" (even tho he's thinking in his mind that you would probably never have the guts to set one up.)

You Say: "PERFECT! I have it already scheduled for tomorrow at such and such time, we can go together!"

Then he will tell you ever excuse that he can't do it that day! But you HAVE to STICK to it! Or else he wins! smile you can say.

"So i'm assuming that I was right about the A, anything you want to tell me?"

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Any ideas on locating someone to perform a lie detector test? I think he's convinced himself that his A with OW is not actually an A. He considers them "friends with benefits". That has offically become my most hated phrase in the English language, by the way.

anne505 #2382592 05/31/10 10:31 AM
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Even if they are "friends with benefits", that is an inappropriate and morally wrong relationship for a married person to have.

My definition these days of a "friend with benefits" is my neighbor across the street, who lets us swim in her pool.

OurHouse #2382599 05/31/10 10:39 AM
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OurHouse - I'm not excusing his behavior. In fact, it makes me sick to think that he is risking everything for a little something on the side. I just think he has found a way to look me in the eye and feel like he is telling me the truth when he says he is not having an affair.

anne505 #2382605 05/31/10 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted by anne505
OurHouse - I'm not excusing his behavior. In fact, it makes me sick to think that he is risking everything for a little something on the side. I just think he has found a way to look me in the eye and feel like he is telling me the truth when he says he is not having an affair.

That even makes me wonder if he would be able to pass a lie detector test...but probably not because they ask very pointed questions....like....'did you have sex with BF?'

I would ask your attorney for a recommendation of someone to perform a lie detector test.

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Originally Posted by SmilingWoman
That even makes me wonder if he would be able to pass a lie detector test...but probably not because they ask very pointed questions....like....'did you have sex with BF?'

That is EXACTLY the thought that is going through my head, that he has rationalized this in his mind to the extent that he really believes he is not guilty. I will add lie detector to my list of questions to ask the attorney when I meet with her. I'm putting together the finacial documents and I'm starting a list of what I need to disucss with her before I proceed. At the top of my list is spousal support and relocation (not out of state but three hours away from where we currently live).

Last edited by anne505; 05/31/10 10:49 AM.
anne505 #2382646 05/31/10 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by anne505
Originally Posted by SmilingWoman
That even makes me wonder if he would be able to pass a lie detector test...but probably not because they ask very pointed questions....like....'did you have sex with BF?'

That is EXACTLY the thought that is going through my head, that he has rationalized this in his mind to the extent that he really believes he is not guilty. I will add lie detector to my list of questions to ask the attorney when I meet with her. I'm putting together the finacial documents and I'm starting a list of what I need to disucss with her before I proceed. At the top of my list is spousal support and relocation (not out of state but three hours away from where we currently live).

Relocation to? Near your parents?

Do you have an appt with your attorney? Or are you just preparing?

Is your WH working today? Or claiming to be working? smile

teaser_8 #2382657 05/31/10 12:52 PM
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Here I am again, not a good weekend, found lewd pis of OW and then after looking closer realized that they were taken in my house, in my kitchen-so again, another rage episode


BS me 55yrs
WH 59 yrs
M 34 yrs 6/26/2010
DD 25
D Day May 5, 2010
NC 5/12/2010
Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
teaser_8 #2382658 05/31/10 01:04 PM
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Anne505 / teaser 8

Please stick to one screen name.
It's confusing.

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teaser8 is someone different, teaser you need to stick to your thread ok?

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I am sticking to my screen name but I keep getting threadjacked.

SmilingWoman - If I file for D, I will most likely move near my mom. I can't afford the area I live in and need to be somewhere that has a lower cost of living. It would also be easier to find work as my mom would baby sit for free. It's three hours away and I know he could give me problems and try to prevent me from doing it.

I do not have an appointment with an attorney yet but am gathering information for when the time comes. I don't have a timeline for it, but feel I will know when the time is right.

WH did work all day today. I know he actually worked for some of it, possibly all. He is on a deadline which makes yesterday all that much more frustrating. That is when he told me he worked but went gambling with Dirtbag instead. He wasted four hours but claimed it was work. No wonder he had to put in a full day today. Honestly, though, it's come to the point where I am just glad to have him gone. I hate being around him these days. It's just so painful.

anne505 #2383171 06/01/10 12:52 PM
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WH changed his Facebook password. I won't be able to find out if he changed his email password until later but I would say the chances are good. In that case, I'm locked out of email and his laptop and did not get the keylogger set up to email me reports yet. Not a good development at all.

anne505 #2383177 06/01/10 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by anne505
WH changed his Facebook password. I won't be able to find out if he changed his email password until later but I would say the chances are good. In that case, I'm locked out of email and his laptop and did not get the keylogger set up to email me reports yet. Not a good development at all.

Did he know you had his FB password? Can you ask him why he changed it?

Think - is he a creature of habit? Are there words/numbers that he would be inclined to use? I use just a couple of passwords for a lot of my accounts because I'm afraid I'll use so many that I'll forget which password opens which account.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Gotta get that key logger WORKING!! This is a good sign that he changed his password he is making sure you can't get in, that means HE IS HIDING SOMETHING!

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Originally Posted by SapphireReturns
Gotta get that key logger WORKING!! This is a good sign that he changed his password he is making sure you can't get in, that means HE IS HIDING SOMETHING!

That's the thing - he changed his pw on his laptop. She's got to be able to get into his laptop to load the software.


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Thank you Marriage Builders!

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she had it loaded during the weekend, its already on there smile

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