Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 52 of 86 1 2 50 51 52 53 54 85 86
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
Thanks T&C,

Just looked at my phone and noticed that SIL tried to call me at 5:30 this morning....this is scaring me to death. Why is she calling and why at 5:30 in the morning? I don't know how to handle this.

It just started my stomach churning. Also, they go with daddy this weekend and I worry about him taking them to see SIL or having her talk to them. Is there anything I can do about this?


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
I don't know there's anything you can do about the kids seeing their aunt - maybe I'm wrong though? Your kids are old enough to be able to sift out the truth from the lies a bit now.

I too would be upset that she is calling at 5:30am. But - just ignore it! Did she leave a message or text you? Delete it, if she did. Just ignore the call. Remain in a VERY DARK Plan B.


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
She didn't leave a message..... I didn't hear the phone ring since we were all asleep. I really didn't want a big mess, but he's going to mudsling because he does not want to look bad in anyone's eyes.....that's very important to him.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Quote
nother question???? I told a friend today that I was going to drag the divorce out and she told me that if I wait for more than a year, then i'll get charged the attorney fees all over again because they will have to refile. My attorney didn't tell me this....is this true?

This is nonsense. A divorce can go on for as long as the parties allow it and who gets charged the attorneys fees isn't even decided until the end OR by agreement. Don't worry about this, just continue to drag your sweet little feet.

The only reason to "refile" is if the case gets dismissed by the Court for "want of prosecution" meaning -- no activity. They don't usually do that unless all the parties have not been served. The Court Fees at that point would only be the cost of filing the suit again. Nothing would be "awarded".

Your SIL has no "rights" to see your children, as she has no standing in the eyes of the Courts. You could refuse to allow her to ever see them again and there wouldn't be a daggum thing she could do about it. Heck, in Texas, it's even hard for grandparents to get any kind of rights unless there is PROVEN abuse and the mother AND father are both all-out crackheads or something drastic like that.

I don't think your SIL realizes you have this much power, especially if you are awarded primary custody of the children-- if it comes to that.

Last edited by princessmeggy; 06/01/10 01:26 PM.

Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by hope_eternal
Thanks T&C,

Just looked at my phone and noticed that SIL tried to call me at 5:30 this morning....this is scaring me to death. Why is she calling and why at 5:30 in the morning? I don't know how to handle this.

hope, what is wrong with her? Is she an alcoholic or an addict?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by hope_eternal
She didn't leave a message..... I didn't hear the phone ring since we were all asleep. I really didn't want a big mess, but he's going to mudsling because he does not want to look bad in anyone's eyes.....that's very important to him.

Just blow her off. She is a loon. If she calls, don't answer the phone.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
Quote
hope, what is wrong with her? Is she an alcoholic or an addict?
OMG, that's too funny, I was wondering the exact same thing, lol. SIL definitely sounds like she has a few screws loose. A phone call at 5:30 in the morning??? Something is not right with her.


Married DH May 5, 1990
DH45 - ME43 - DD18 - DD15

Thanx to MB my M is now back on track and better than ever. MB ROCKS!!!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong
1942-, American Author
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
Hmmm, maybe your SIL had a good reason for calling you so early in the morning. You know, to try and find out if you are still besmudging people with amnesty! rotflmao


Married DH May 5, 1990
DH45 - ME43 - DD18 - DD15

Thanx to MB my M is now back on track and better than ever. MB ROCKS!!!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong
1942-, American Author
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
Personally I bet your SIL has been wayward herself. The things she is saying and doing are very wayward in nature.


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
I agree. You can usually tell who is wayward. I can detect it now because when I tell people what WH did and they do not get a reaction like every human would get, then I know they did it too.
Your SIL needs to be ignored.
blessing


atena
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
Yes, you are right!!! SIL had an affair on her husband 20 yrs after marriage. Fortunately, for them, they had only one child that was already in college. Not that it was any less painful for her husband and child, but she doesn't know anything about taking care of 4 children.

My husband comes from a long line of mentally impaired people. His mother is schizo and on heavy meds. My husband told me that when his sister drinks there is a bad effect with her meds. She could have been drinking...I don't know. I called DD and told her not to answer the phone if SIL calls again. I will definitely not answer anymore from her.

T&C you're hilarious!!! That is a long-standing joke around the adults here in my life. My brother is constantly texting me asking if I'm besmudging people with amnesty.

Princess....thanks for that info...you are so helpful with the legal stuff. What really made her furious is that I emailed and talked on the phone with my H's step sister. There's some real rivalry there between the siblings of my FIL's first marriage and his marriage before he died....which incidently was birthed from an affair. This is a whole family of cheaters.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
Today was a very good day. I was actually laughing and smiling with people all day. Got a confirmation from Postal service that there is a change of address for my H. He's having all his mail forwarded...unfortunately, there was no forwarding address...just the notification.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
One of my husband's sisters posted this on her facebook status...

"How others treat me is their path ~ How I respond is mine." I felt it was directed at me soooooo, I posted this quote as my status:

The truth is "hate speech" only to those who have something to hide.--Michael Rivero

I just had to do it...there were others, but I'll save them for another time.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
Quote
I felt it was directed at me soooooo, I posted this quote as my status:
Quote
The truth is "hate speech" only to those who have something to hide.--Michael Rivero
LOL, hope, I actually wondered about your status on Facebook when I first saw it (right after you changed it, I think). After reading what you wrote I automatically thought that maybe you were directing it at someone in particular but, of course, I wasn't 100% sure. However, now that I read your post above (here on MB) it is evident that my suspicions were, indeed, correct.

Ha ha, you are too funny, how nice to see you in a brighter mood (not to mention a humorous one as well.....you "besmudg-er" you, lol).


Married DH May 5, 1990
DH45 - ME43 - DD18 - DD15

Thanx to MB my M is now back on track and better than ever. MB ROCKS!!!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong
1942-, American Author
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
You were right T&C....I may have been wrong; she could have just posted that to be all feel goody. THis is the problem that I have with that quote...

People can crap on you, but how you respond should be subdued and all feel goody. (that's only one interpretation)

I'm sorry I shouldn't be so synical.......I'm feeling a little besmudgy today.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by hope_eternal
The truth is "hate speech" only to those who have something to hide.--Michael Rivero

I love it!!

Here is one for the future: Misplaced compassion gives power to EVIL..


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
Quote
You were right T&C....I may have been wrong; she could have just posted that to be all feel goody. THis is the problem that I have with that quote...

Quote
People can crap on you, but how you respond should be subdued and all feel goody. (that's only one interpretation)
If I were in the same position as you, hope, I would have read that quote exactly the same way that you did so I can totally understand how you came to your interpretation of it. Come to think of it, considering how looney some of your in-laws seem to be, I wouldn't be surprised if you took that status just as it was meant to be taken...as a shot at you!

Hey, next time one of those weirdo's unloads their crap on you...send them a diaper in reply. HA HA

Quote
I'm sorry I shouldn't be so synical.......I'm feeling a little besmudgy today.
LOL, you sure on a roll with the humor today, aren't you?! I can't tell you how nice that is, it's great to hear you sounding more chipper as of late and I hope that you feel better and better with each day.

Oh, and btw, don't let any of your in-laws make you feel bad about yourself, I've seen your picture and you truly are a beautiful woman and anyone that says anything different is obviously just envious of you. Those silly people!


Married DH May 5, 1990
DH45 - ME43 - DD18 - DD15

Thanx to MB my M is now back on track and better than ever. MB ROCKS!!!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong
1942-, American Author
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
My daughter talked to me a little about a conversation she had with her Best friend and the girl's mom. Apparently, the BF's mom has been through an affair also. She asked my DD..."where is your dad living?" My DD said, "at the lake." Friend's mom said, "and where does he work?" DD told her that he works here in the city. friend's mom: "How far is that?" DD: "2 hours each way".
Friend's mom: "Well then that means is he's just taking you to the lake as opposed to living there" This woman went on to explain to DD the very things that I feel based on the evidence. It was confirmation for my DD14. I think DD was torn between the truth and thinking I was overreacting.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 126
Quote
Here is one for the future: Misplaced compassion gives power to EVIL..
Ooooooh, that's good! clap clap clap


Married DH May 5, 1990
DH45 - ME43 - DD18 - DD15

Thanx to MB my M is now back on track and better than ever. MB ROCKS!!!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong
1942-, American Author
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
T&C you will have to friend me so that I can see you. Just sent a note with it so I will know it's you. I'm not a friend gatherer just for the sake of having a high number of friends, so I often reject people I'm not familiar with.

Melody,

I love that quote; I'll save it in my arsenal.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Page 52 of 86 1 2 50 51 52 53 54 85 86

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 139 guests, and 29 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
raysunshine, BuckeyeGrad, A12345bc, light124, DORA SMITH
71,770 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,564
Posts2,323,014
Members71,770
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5