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Pepperband #2385792 06/05/10 12:38 PM
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Mark1952 #2385870 06/05/10 06:32 PM
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Hi Mark...

Thank you again so much for your posts..

And that one for the WW... that quote was huge... I must admit I only got about 2/3rds through it so far, but definately someday I will share that with her.

She said something off hand about OM today, very negative, and then something about him being physically unnattractive. I was quiet, but it was very interesting to watch her both times as she:

1) seemed to realize what she had just said
2) realize the truth of the statement
3) then question what that means in relation to she has done
4) realize again how messed up she was, kinda slump her shoulders
5) look over at me to see if I saw all that

Mark... thank you so much again.

Yes, you are right. I need to pay even more attention to the complaints of 6 months+ ago (before OM ever was known).

Also, the not doing SDs and DJs to get her to MB. Actually, Jennifer sold her on MB principles with the promise of "if you follow it, you will fall in love with eachother and be happy again."

She is already on it. We are 3 chapters into HNHN together, and she wants to read it all now because she says so far everything is just dead on and explains so much.

So yes, I need to limit my bringing up affair / relationship stuff
need to avoid my LBs of the past.
REALLY WORK ON LISTENING. I am doing much better at this I think.

Thanks again Mark, and everyone else cheering for us.

She just finished dinner.... domestic care one of TOP ENs fo rme, yay


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2385920 06/05/10 08:47 PM
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BTintrouble, I am bursting with pride at how you stood up to the OM and led your family out of th darkness. WOW. WOW. You did a good thing, Sir. I just love a brave person. smile


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


BTinTrouble #2385941 06/05/10 09:33 PM
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Originally Posted by BTinTrouble
IDK what Jennifer said to her.

Thanks for all the encouragement guys.

BCboy, you words touched my soul and your compassion helps me really believe that someone else understands what this is like.

I love my wife, I want to be a family...
but when I look at her, and think of her, its with him... and it hurts very badly.

I want to be strong, conquor this, and be the best husband and father possible,

but the price is very high.

I dont think she can understand how high it is to me.
Actually BT your behavior and actions are an encouragement to me. You are acting with such maturity and responsibility, and you are being a good example for your children. Regardless of her actions, no matter what she does, or what she realizes, does not have to impact how YOU behave.

Her actions will hurt and haunt you. It will take time to heal. Eventually she will realize what she has done to her family. I suggest that if you continue with your current behavior she will come to admire and respect you. Eventually she will realize you are the prize. BT you are to be commended for persevering with honor, and care for your family, in the face of the most adverse circumstance you will ever have to face.

Despite your pain, do not tire of doing good. No matter how this turns out you will know you are an honorable man.

BCboy #2385960 06/05/10 10:35 PM
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I am on tonight...

I need to find something I think about triggers?

I dont know... I said good night to her, we had a good moment, but then I took a shower and thought, "what if I had come home earlier last friday, and he hadnt left yet and I caught them actually here in person?"

Lots of very bad, CSI style images and now I am pissed and cant sleep and DEFINATELY dont want to sleep next to her.

I will look on here for them. If anyone knows a link that is still awake for some gawdawful reason, feel free to post it.

Thanks BCBoy and Mel for your words of encouragement. I hope you are right. I am wondering how fine I should tread this tightrope.

I want to be open and honest with her, but I am sure I shouldnt tell her at times I picture my hands white knuckle gripped around her cheating throat. I want to share and express myself to her, but I am not sure telling her of the hollow emptiness, loss, pain and abject humiliation I feel as a result of this is the right thing to do.

I HOPE you are right that we can "get there" where I can share those things.

At this point, she still occasionally avoids questions, "Can you ask me that tomorrow?" and per Mark and lots of MB literature I shouldnt be asking most of those questions anyway... but sometimes I feel like I am dying to know things like:

She points out a restaraunt she wants to go to with me, did they go there together already?

She mentions something that reminds me of a time she "went out," did they meet then?

She hasnt told me (avoided it once for sure) how it started.

Then there are things I am not sure I WANT to know but am SURE that I want to feel like I COULD ask them, and trust I would get an honest answer:

How do I compare to him? Did she do things with him she hasnt done with me? Did they defile places in our house besides "just" our bed? Our car? Other blankets?

I am sure this is just torturing myself, but I dont even trust her to give me an honest answer about anything yet and it is just killing me...

We read through Basic Concepts, Emotional Needs up to Domestic Support tonight, think there are 3 left. Jennifer asked us to do the ENQs and to prepare "I'd like it if..." positive, specific behavior statements for how we want our top 5 needs filled.

I am 99% confident she has not contacted OM since the last phone call. I can account for nearly all of her time (I was with her all week since she came home), I have searched our room, her bags, "her" car (the one she normally drives), have had her under VAR surveilence, and have checked the phone bill against her phone, verified all strange numbers. I am sure there are 1 or 2 things I have done besides that.

Basically, I am confident at this time she is not in contact with him.

I do not know what Jennifer has planned for us Monday night.

I know we both went and got tested yesterday (Friday). Results should be back in 7 days or less.

It is really not very neat, because I want her all the time, even when I loathe the sight of her, I still want her. Even when I can see nothing but a cesspool of defiled filth, I want her.




Thank you all for your encouragement and positive thoughts. I honestly dont feel so brave and wonderful, mature, responsible, etc etc.

I mostly feel sick. Love, then sickness, in waves, back and forth.

Do I tell her this?


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2385963 06/05/10 10:45 PM
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Originally Posted by BTinTrouble
IAt this point, she still occasionally avoids questions, "Can you ask me that tomorrow?" and per Mark and lots of MB literature I shouldnt be asking most of those questions anyway... but sometimes I feel like I am dying to know things like:

She points out a restaraunt she wants to go to with me, did they go there together already?

She mentions something that reminds me of a time she "went out," did they meet then?

She hasnt told me (avoided it once for sure) how it started.

BT, I think there has been some misunderstanding about this part, because you most definitely DO need to ask these questions now and get full and complete answers in order to recover. The SOONER you get the answers, the sooner you can move forward.

Did Dr Chalmers tell you to wait on this very important step for some reason? Because unless she told you to wait, then you need to be doing this NOW.


You must have your every question answered to your satisfaction. Nothing short of complete RADICAL HONESTY about her affair will suffice:

Originally Posted by Requirements for Recovery
The plan I recommend for recovery after an affair is very specific. That's because I've found that even small deviations from that plan are usually disastrous. But when it's followed, it always works. The plan has two parts that must be implemented sequentially. The first part of the plan is for the unfaithful spouse to completely separate from the lover and eliminate the conditions that made the affair possible. The second part is for the couple to create a romantic relationship, using my Basic Concepts as a guide.

I'll describe these two parts to you in a little more detail.

The first step, complete separation from the lover and eliminating the conditions that made the affair possible, requires a complete understanding of the affair. All information regarding the affair must be revealed to the betrayed spouse, including the name of the lover, the conditions that made the affair possible (travel, internet, etc.), the details of what took place during the affair, all correspondence, and anything else that would shed light on the tragedy.

This information is important for two reasons: (1) it creates accountability and transparency, making it essentially impossible for the unfaithful spouse to continue the affair or begin a new one unnoticed, and (2) it creates trust for the betrayed spouse, providing evidence that the affair is over and a new one is unlikely to take its place. The nightmares you experience are likely to continue until you have the facts that
will lead to your assurance that your husband can be trusted.

An analysis of the betrayed spouse's childhood or emotional state of mind in an effort to discover why he or she would have an affair is distracting and unnecessary. It takes precious time away from finding the real solutions. I know why people have affairs: We are all wired for it. Given certain conditions, we would all do it. Given other conditions, however, none of us would do it. So the goal of the first step is to discover the conditions that made the affair possible and eliminate them.

After the first step is completed, the second step is to create a romantic relationship between you and your husband using my 10 Basic Concepts http://marriagebuilders.com/ca/to.cgi?l=qa080103bc
as your guide. While your relationship may be improving, it won't lead to a romantic relationship because you are not being transparent toward each other. Unspoken issues in a marital relationship lead to a superficiality that ruins romance.
here


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2385972 06/05/10 11:00 PM
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BT
Those feelings ... Are ... Terrible ... And ... Normal.

Unfortunately, there is no way around them.
You must push through them.
Recovery is WAY harder than plan A or B .... In case no one told you already.

You write the way Bob Pure wrote when he was early in recovery.
Have you read any of his old posts?

You can do this.
But, be warned.
It is hard, and it takes years.
It is worth it, in my opinion.

Regards.


Last edited by Pepperband; 06/05/10 11:02 PM.
Pepperband #2385995 06/05/10 11:55 PM
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BT,

Just to be sure you understand me...

You need to have your questions answered. I suggest that you write down your questions and give them a day or so then read them over to see if they are things you need answers to now or if they can be put off or perhaps as you think about some things you will actually be able to answer some of them yourself. But you have to be able to ask her anything and get a satisfactory answer, even if that answer hurts.

What you should avoid doing is spending every moment you are together rehashing the affair. Set a time to ask questions and get answers. Spend less time doing this or working out long standing problems than actually doing things that are enjoyable. Tough problems are sure to deplete Love Banks pretty quickly.

You need answers, BT. You can't simply pretend that nothing happened. But you have to avoid making your entire life revolve around things that are not actually making things better, only examining the train wreck for nuts and bolts.

You need to actually begin spending 15 hours or more of UA time together and I wouldn't call reliving the nightmare enjoyable time. So ask away but do it at a set time so that you don't keep going over the affair when you should be doing the rest of MB.

Get it now?

Mark


Pepperband #2385996 06/06/10 12:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
BT
Those feelings ... Are ... Terrible ... And ... Normal.

Unfortunately, there is no way around them.
You must push through them.
Recovery is WAY harder than plan A or B .... In case no one told you already.

You write the way Bob Pure wrote when he was early in recovery.
Have you read any of his old posts?

You can do this.
But, be warned.
It is hard, and it takes years.
It is worth it, in my opinion.

Regards.
BT I think it goes without saying that you have the support and encouragement of the heavy hitters on MB like Melody Lane and Pepperband. I hope you will pay particular attention to Pepperbands council about reading Bob Pures posts. Pepper is also cautioning you about not expecting too much too quickly.

I would also like to point out recent example of
Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga was one out away from completing a "perfect game," when the Cleveland Indians' Jason Donald hit a ground ball to first baseman Miguel Cabrera for the apparent last out. Galarraga covered first base and took the throw, beating Donald to the bag by a step. The umpire made the wrong call and Galarraga was robbed of his perfect game. You can imagine the disappointment this man must have experienced, he was robbed of an event that would go down in baseball history.

In my case I would have not noticed the perfect game, but I did notice how he responded. It is events like this that defines character, and this man provided an example that will be used to teach us all about grace, humility and forgiveness. The perfect game would soon be forgotten, but the example he provided will endure.

Was he disappointed. Undoubtedly and justifiably so. Are you upset. Undoubtedly and justifiably so. You need to work through your emotions and the betrayal. You are human, but you are behaving admirably. Don't deny your emotions. As Pepperband has so wisely stated that there is no way around them and you must push through.

You have some of the best this forum has to offer and you sound like you have the character to push through. You are no alone. You can do this.

May God Bless you and your family.

BCBoy

BCboy #2386005 06/06/10 01:09 AM
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The BH controls what he needs to know about the affair.

Best way to handle this is to have an affair discussion where you will make your your WW feel safe to answer your questions.

One schedule affair talk to two night per week for an hour at a time. Say Tueday and Thursday evenings.

When WW say's they did it in our bed. Don't blow your top. Calmly state that the bedroom furniture and bedding has to go. Tell WW the room needs to be reclaimed. Lets go to the paint store this weekend and reclaim this room. What color would you like me to paint our room.

The thing once a question has been answered it can't be untold. So go slow.

Last edited by TheRoad; 06/06/10 01:11 AM.
BTinTrouble #2386021 06/06/10 07:32 AM
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The thing once a question has been answered it can't be untold. So go slow.

In my session I asked Steve Harley about the past. He says he does not do much digging. All he does is focus on how to prevent it again.

Personally I dont wanna know any more about the details than i have too. Doesnt mean I wanna gloss over the A. Just that i know all I need to know about it. She unfortunately knows all. Thats something she will have to deal with.


(ME) BS - 33YO
(HER) WW - 32YO
Married 7 years
DD5
D-Day - 5/1/10 (PA)
Exposure 5/7/10
Plan A 5/7/10 -
Plan B or Recovery on 7-1-10 Its in her court ATM
My thread
YEG #2386025 06/06/10 08:35 AM
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Every betrayed spouse is going to be different on the amount of information he needs to know. But the policy is always radical honesty. RH is a REQUIREMENT to recover. WS' that withhold information prevent recovery. As long as the BS has the basic outline with times, dates, how the affair started, it will then be up to the BS to determine how much more information he needs.

And the longer it takes to get the information out, the longer it takes to recover because every time it comes out, the couple is put back to Day 1 of recovery. So, it needs to come out EARLY and fully and completely. That way, the couple can move forward to the next step in recovery.

Just keep in what Dr Harley says:

Quote
"All information regarding the affair must be revealed to the betrayed spouse, including the name of the lover, the conditions that made the affair possible (travel, internet, etc.), the details of what took place during the affair, all correspondence, and anything else that would shed light on the tragedy."
here


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


BTinTrouble #2386026 06/06/10 08:36 AM
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Originally Posted by BTinTrouble
I am on tonight...

I need to find something I think about triggers?

I dont know... I said good night to her, we had a good moment, but then I took a shower and thought, "what if I had come home earlier last friday, and he hadnt left yet and I caught them actually here in person?"

Lots of very bad, CSI style images and now I am pissed and cant sleep and DEFINATELY dont want to sleep next to her.

I will look on here for them. If anyone knows a link that is still awake for some gawdawful reason, feel free to post it.

Thanks BCBoy and Mel for your words of encouragement. I hope you are right. I am wondering how fine I should tread this tightrope.

I want to be open and honest with her, but I am sure I shouldnt tell her at times I picture my hands white knuckle gripped around her cheating throat. I want to share and express myself to her, but I am not sure telling her of the hollow emptiness, loss, pain and abject humiliation I feel as a result of this is the right thing to do.

I HOPE you are right that we can "get there" where I can share those things.

At this point, she still occasionally avoids questions, "Can you ask me that tomorrow?" and per Mark and lots of MB literature I shouldnt be asking most of those questions anyway... but sometimes I feel like I am dying to know things like:

She points out a restaraunt she wants to go to with me, did they go there together already?

She mentions something that reminds me of a time she "went out," did they meet then?

She hasnt told me (avoided it once for sure) how it started.

Then there are things I am not sure I WANT to know but am SURE that I want to feel like I COULD ask them, and trust I would get an honest answer:

How do I compare to him? Did she do things with him she hasnt done with me? Did they defile places in our house besides "just" our bed? Our car? Other blankets?

I am sure this is just torturing myself, but I dont even trust her to give me an honest answer about anything yet and it is just killing me...

We read through Basic Concepts, Emotional Needs up to Domestic Support tonight, think there are 3 left. Jennifer asked us to do the ENQs and to prepare "I'd like it if..." positive, specific behavior statements for how we want our top 5 needs filled.

I am 99% confident she has not contacted OM since the last phone call. I can account for nearly all of her time (I was with her all week since she came home), I have searched our room, her bags, "her" car (the one she normally drives), have had her under VAR surveilence, and have checked the phone bill against her phone, verified all strange numbers. I am sure there are 1 or 2 things I have done besides that.

Basically, I am confident at this time she is not in contact with him.

I do not know what Jennifer has planned for us Monday night.

I know we both went and got tested yesterday (Friday). Results should be back in 7 days or less.

It is really not very neat, because I want her all the time, even when I loathe the sight of her, I still want her. Even when I can see nothing but a cesspool of defiled filth, I want her.




Thank you all for your encouragement and positive thoughts. I honestly dont feel so brave and wonderful, mature, responsible, etc etc.

I mostly feel sick. Love, then sickness, in waves, back and forth.

Do I tell her this?

BT this too is all very normal (sorry to say), and like Pep pointed out, recovery is not for the faint at heart and is the hardest part of all of this crazy mess.

It also is NOT a sprint, it is a MARATHON, that is why we all want you to take care of YOU too. DO NOT forget that part.

And you will have all kinds of thoughts in your head for a long time to come, and she will be foggy and goofy for a while yet, but you are doing AWESOME so far, keep up the good work.

And i agree with Mark about when she says anything that was a complaint PRE the POSOM, you need to listen to that, but do not be a door mat. I know it is all very hard and the line is very thin between not using AOs, DJS, LBs, meeting ENs and being a doormat but find the happy medium.

Also there is a very good thread over in the recovery section (started by Mark of course) about managing triggers and such. However right now i am not sure how much it will help as you are early into this and each time you find out something it will be a stab at your heart for sure, but just know that with TIME and BOTH of you working the plan it will be so worth it.......


Still_Crazy #2386173 06/06/10 07:09 PM
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Wow you guys...

thank you so much.

I did find Marks post on recovery and triggers. Have not read it yet.

At this point, everything "triggers" because I dont know any real details, so I ALWAYS wonder, "did they do it here? how about there? this sheet? this room? this seat of the car? Ooooh, she looks nice like that... did he see her in that? did he buy her that? she makes a comment about some day in the last month or so, immediate thought, "did they do it that day too?"

Its unendurable.

Ok, so we have to talk about this....

She is doing her ENQ per Jennifers "homework" assignment. Its due tomorrow. Last minute... yay... ok.

I am going to talk to her about this tonight.

I ended up leaving our room last night and sleeping on the couch because I just couldnt stand it anymore.

It feels so awful to be so mixed up.

I feel disgusted, ashamed, hurt, betrayed, humiliated, rage, anger, frustration, love, hate, replaced (like "leftovers"), like I'm the second choice.

And then I smile, "would you like some watermelon?"

I sure hope you guys are right about this being worth it.

My son better put me in a DAMN GOOD RETIREMENT HOME for this...

Ok, thanks for letting me vent.

I need this.

I need to not be venting to friends and family, if she is my wife, she needs to be my wife, where its us vs the world, and I dont need them against her, because then they are against me and thats just gonna be more bs I dont need right now.


Lifelong recovery never ends.

BTinTrouble #2386175 06/06/10 07:14 PM
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I think that it has been said that during exposure you ask for help from friends and family but during recovery, it is time for YOU and YOUR WS to reconnect. And as you said, you want the us vs the world mentality. You CAN do this.

Have you thought about writing your questions out so you don't forget ones that you want answered. I have thought about what I would NEED to know to recover. I have a list started in case I ever have the chance to recover.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
BTinTrouble #2386193 06/06/10 08:25 PM
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Have you thought about writing your questions out so you don't forget ones that you want answered. I have thought about what I would NEED to know to recover.


Thats an excellent suggestion. Im gonna do that as well.

Quote
I ended up leaving our room last night and sleeping on the couch because I just couldnt stand it anymore.


You have to feel safe.

Quote
It feels so awful to be so mixed up.

i know exactly how you feel. Its sad, confusing and horrible all at the same time. I want to just shake my WW and ask her what she was thinking.

Quote
At this point, everything "triggers" because I dont know any real details, so I ALWAYS wonder, "did they do it here? how about there? this sheet? this room? this seat of the car? Ooooh, she looks nice like that... did he see her in that? did he buy her that? she makes a comment about some day in the last month or so, immediate thought, "did they do it that day too?"


I got my answers right after I busted them. The first few days I basically just hammered her with questions. I thought i was getting a D at the time so I really had no mercy.

My WW had the decency to never bring him to our house. The worse thing though is WW let OM around DD4 a few times.He even sent a B day card to DD4 last year address "Uncle OM". You gotta be kidding me. I cant believe that didnt wake me up then.
DD4 used to ask about him occasionally. She has a memory on her like a steel trap. Glad she hasnt asked for him since D-Day. I dont know what I would even do.

Triggers are hell though. I feel for you. Time has a way of healing those things I believe. Someone gave you some really good ideas about reclaiming rooms. There is also a really good post about the types of triggers running around. It had some good suggestions about overwritting negative triggers with positive events. As time goes on and you reconnect it will get easier.

Your couch wont be a place that something could have happened on. It will be a place that you curled up with her and held her.

Maybe you could take your WW to a drive in movie and hold hands.

A friendly food fight in the kitchen followed up by some affection while your still covered in flour and chocolate.

You have reclaimed your wife. You will reclaim your home and belongings too. Read back through your thread and look at the person that wrote it. Your a new stronger man that is fighting for his family. You WILL get through this.

I think about you alot BT since we both came here about the same time. Im praying for you every night when I ask God to help my M.


(ME) BS - 33YO
(HER) WW - 32YO
Married 7 years
DD5
D-Day - 5/1/10 (PA)
Exposure 5/7/10
Plan A 5/7/10 -
Plan B or Recovery on 7-1-10 Its in her court ATM
My thread
BTinTrouble #2386210 06/06/10 09:54 PM
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I just read your thread completely through. I was just SICK for you as you discovered your W's A. I am so sorry for everything you are going through.

What you feel right now? It is completely normal. There isnt a BS here who hasnt gone through it. It is awful and you will obsess for a long time to come. It will be very easy to allow your W's A to consume you.

Do everything you can to not allow that to happen.

At some point, when things settle down a bit, this recovery will be less about all you are doing for your W and will shift to YOU and what you need. At some point, your W is likely to get what she has done and you will see remorse. During that time, it is normal to experience what is called "hysterical bonding" - You will fall deeply in love and you will hang on to one another as if your life depends on it.

When this happens, set the bar very high. If you do not do this and you settle for less than what you need in recovery, you will deeply regret it ( as I do ) later on.

As I read your thread, I found myself reacting to what was unfolding. At first, I was saying "NO NO NO" when I read the beginning, and how you couldnt see clearly what was going on. I found myself weeping for you and your pain when you discovered the truth and I found myself cheering for you as you did one of the most unimaginably difficult and brave things a person ever has to do.

I will continue to root for you. You may not believe this now, but....

You. Will. Be. Okay.

JK


BS: Me, 43
FWH: 50
EA/PA with My Friend Jan-Apr 06
DDay: 4/29/06
NC: email 5/1/06

Recovering
JustKim #2386385 06/07/10 11:11 AM
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That was a wonderful post JustKim

BTinTrouble #2386403 06/07/10 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by BTinTrouble
Wow you guys...

thank you so much.

I did find Marks post on recovery and triggers. Have not read it yet.

At this point, everything "triggers" because I dont know any real details, so I ALWAYS wonder, "did they do it here? how about there? this sheet? this room? this seat of the car? Ooooh, she looks nice like that... did he see her in that? did he buy her that? she makes a comment about some day in the last month or so, immediate thought, "did they do it that day too?"

Its unendurable.

Ok, so we have to talk about this....

She is doing her ENQ per Jennifers "homework" assignment. Its due tomorrow. Last minute... yay... ok.

I am going to talk to her about this tonight.

I ended up leaving our room last night and sleeping on the couch because I just couldnt stand it anymore.

It feels so awful to be so mixed up.

I feel disgusted, ashamed, hurt, betrayed, humiliated, rage, anger, frustration, love, hate, replaced (like "leftovers"), like I'm the second choice.

And then I smile, "would you like some watermelon?"

I sure hope you guys are right about this being worth it.

My son better put me in a DAMN GOOD RETIREMENT HOME for this...

Ok, thanks for letting me vent.

I need this.

I need to not be venting to friends and family, if she is my wife, she needs to be my wife, where its us vs the world, and I dont need them against her, because then they are against me and thats just gonna be more bs I dont need right now.

Yes you do need to have your questions answered or else it will be unedurable until that happens. And you are going to feel really mad and happy and pissed and sad all in the span of an hour (sometimes less).

Knowledge is power though, the more you KNOW about things and are not WONDERING (usually our mental images are worse than what actually occured or was said) the better some of that gets.

And definitely reclaim everything, i like the suggestion of painting the bedroom, or even making a different room in the house your bedromm (if that is an issue, it is not something i had to deal with so i am not sure if i could have, i may have had to move from my house but since it did not ahppen i do not know what i would do).

And when your son is old enough to find out what his daddy did for his family i am sure he will be so proud smile , however if you get the good retirement home out of him tell us your secret laugh ).

BTinTrouble #2386593 06/07/10 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by BTinTrouble
My son better put me in a DAMN GOOD RETIREMENT HOME for this...

I am so sorry, BT. frown I know how much pain you are in. One thing that will help is to find another place to live. Take that rotten bed to Goodwill and go buy a new one.

What date did you call Dr Harley on the radio, BT?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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