Is there any way to find out if/when it might be replayed or if I could listen to it recorded somewhere online or by email link? I would have liked to listen. Podcasts, webcasts, anything would be great for those of us that can't log in and listen live.
Sorry I missed it. Sounded educational from the notes.
No, there is no way to listen to it. No podcasts, no nothing.
My good friend, SusieQ, sent me this transcript [thanks Susie!!] There are no speaker ID's but once you start reading it seems easier to figure out who is saying what:
Here it is:
(Joyce)I'm going to turn the ship abruptly because we have a listener who has some questions on an article that you wrote for the website.
She asked --
>> Two articles.
>> And she says, Part 1, she wants, Can you ask Dr. Harley to clear up some confusing information, he says in this article in coping with infidelity, see, this is why I'm turning the ship around, part 1, how do affairs begin?
She's got two questions here.
She gives the phrase, the sentence that caused her to write her question.
Ok.
Let me read the phrase from the article first:
You say in this article "How do affairs begin?" I have seen so many spouses lie about affairs that when one spouse wants a separation, my best guess is that he or she is having an affair.
I'm right almost every time about this.
Now she says, why would anyone need to be alone to sort things out?, talking about separation.
>> Right.
>> It makes much more sense to think that being separated makes it easier to be with their lover.
>> Yes.
>> If there is infidelity.
Granted there are many good reasons for a separation such as a physical or extreme mental abuse, but of all those I've seen separate, most have had lovers in the wings.
>> That's right.
Yeah.
Basically, I will often recommend a separation in the case of physical or emotional abuse.
Sometimes I'll even recommend a separation in cases of neglect.
Where in the case of that one lady where her husband was just never home.
He was either working or on a vacation by himself.
These are cases where a separation makes sense.
But that's me giving somebody advice, ok?
When somebody comes to me and says they want a separation, the first thing I'm thinking is, who is your lover?
>> Ok.
>> Because generally getting a separation under those conditions does not occur to most women.
It is something that -- they leave their husbands as sort of a last-ditch effort after they have lost all hope of this marriage being saved.
It is true that the number one cause of divorce is neglect.
So when a women leaves a man because of neglect, chances are she is done with him for good.
The basic idea -- my argument about separation is, get separated while you still care about him, you know, in some cases.
Get separated when you don't have a friend of the opposite sex.
>> She is challenging that separation is being dangerous to the repair of the marriage because that allows the one being unfaithful to have more time with the other person.
>> In the case of that, though, the problem you run into is health issues.
In other words, as you are trying to restore your marriage and your spouse is having an affair under your very nose, you are going to suffer tremendous stress and possibly serious autoimmune problems as a result of having to live with that situation.
Many times I'll recommend a separation just to save your health.
The point is that when somebody comes to me and the husband says, my wife has been wanting to separate from me or the wife says, my husband has been wanting to separate, my first thought is, I wonder if they are having an affair.
In most cases they are.
So that's what she is -- she is saying, you know, isn't there a conflict here?
You are telling people to separate, but you are saying people that separate are usually having an affair.
>> The one is a therapeutic strategy, the other is something that people who are having affairs seem to want to do.
>> We have been talking about the whole area of cheating in regard to this question from e-mailer.
Let's talk about cheating financially in a marriage upcoming on Marriage Builders.
