First TM ... welcome to you in joining us here learning from the Harley's.
Now war with NK may or may not happen in the future... More likely not as the NK regularly declares its going to war if 'X' does or doesn't happen. No one knows the future even if we are a bit worried about it.
I am very... oldish compared to you. well I feel that way
I have lived through 15 deployments since we were married and am currently living through the sixteenth.
Here's what you can do. You whine, rant, cry and/or moan at any inanimate object you can lay your hands on... or us here on MB if you so wish.... because you can't hurt us....but you keep telephone conversations with your husband warm.... light and positive ..... right the way through deployment.
You are both under enormous strain. You are both young... newly paired and going through your first deployment together - which is I might add... by far the worst in many ways... but this is the time when YOU get up and take the lead.. put on the relationship pants.
This is your opportunity to show your husband to be and the rest of the World just what you are made of. He has limited opportunity to call you.... he's in Theatre and he is likely to be very nervous of his future.
He does NOT need argument... debate ...and his relationship un-picked on the rare occasion he gets near a telephone.
Especially if he IS at fault... yes I know it is VERY unfair and I have screamed a few times post phone call too.
There will be those who say its letting him ride all over you and so on but it's not at all. Deployments are a very special situation where normal rules mostly do not apply. He wants to know he is loved and that he has something good to fight for if he has to and to come home to.
You ask any seasoned wife and you know what their 'phone calls are like;
'Hello my darling! yes I am fine, we all are. Don't worry I'm holding the fort. Now tell me angel how are YOU?'
and then when he has finished telling us and we have exchanged 'I love you's' and 'Be careful!'
we put the phone down and sob our hearts out and rant at the cat.. dog or punch a pillow - but he's walking away from the phone smiling thinking 'my wife's fine. What a girl!'
I have a caveat here though!! You did the very right thing to bring up his behaviour with other women. THAT behaviour is not to be permitted and he should be told that.. gently and firmly. No wriggle room allowed here for either of you. Both of you MUST maintain good boundaries.
Avoid confrontation during deployments and all those 'or else' options. Either or both of you will make bad errors of judgement during stressful times. If serious talks are due post deployment then wait until then.
Know he will have changed and the new 'him' will take some adjusting to. It's not an easy road TM as I am sure you know
read and learn the Harleys methods because they work.
all the best