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just a preacher man with insightful life experiences like many of you.
prd Insight and advice carries weight when you understand the experiences that generated them. Telling HOW you got that experience, the processes that you went through, what you learned, all of these things give weight to your advice. That is why you've been asked to give your story. You've given the bare minimum which leads people to distrust your insights. The fact that you seem heavy on non-MB content and light on MB content further detracts from the quality and reliability of your advice when counselling those who are dealing with infidelity. You say you're recovering from infidelity (though it's unclear if it's yours, your wife's, or both). However it doesn't seem like you did it the MB way. While that may be commendable- your path worked for you, that's fine, but has it worked for thousands? That's what we're here to discuss. MB. Your input has very little weight and may actually do more harm than good here because you refuse to detail what you know and how you learned it. You're 'mystique' doesn't make you interesting, it just further detracts from your proposed purpose here: helping and providing insight.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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FTR, I graduated HS and even attended University for Engineering and College for Computer Programming. I have not heard of Myers-Briggs. I find things when I need them and I keep things that are useful. I find MB to be extremely useful and I definitely needed it when I came here(still do).
I haven't been around long, but I HAVE been around long enough to have seen this a few times already. It is actually a DJ to assume that the people whom one is posting to is uneducated or needs to be taught what YOU know. I have learned much about human relations and the way people tick from reading the MB materials and this forum. I don't go to other forums and before this one, I had never posted on one before. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. MB works for me, so why do I need to go somewhere else? I will learn what I can and try to help others on their journey as well. That was what I was trying to accomplish with Pale. Maybe there was something that you needed help with or something you could teach me about the practical application in marriage of MB concepts.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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prd, you remind me a guy I dated once. Not a very mature guy.....he thought he was really funny but in fact people were laughing AT him, not with him (we didn't date long lol). You amuse me.  All the best with your Myer-Briggs. Brush up on your MB principles though, then you can REALLY knock the socks off people! i will not respond in kind, i am the highway! prd You pretty much won't respond at all, which makes you one of the unkindest preachers I've ever met. Is there a reason you won't answer my polite questions: What led you to His Needs Her Needs, which is part of the Marriage Builders program? Have you read the Basic Concepts from the top of the site?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Seriously, anyone banging their head against a wall yet? Why bother/enable?
BS: 37 FWH: 37 EA: 2 months, ending June 08 Married 7 years 4 kids (2 together) Hoping for a Recovery
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Seriously, anyone banging their head against a wall yet? Why bother/enable? I'm with you Gdar! Didn't we just go through this with MaiMai? Except that prd is not being overtly disrespectful, just not encouraging MB.
Me: BW, 27 Him: WH, 29 DD 4 DS 1 Married 07/25/09 A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner) D-Day: 3/31/10 2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010 3rd D-Day: 4/21/10
Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10 WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10 False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10
Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012
Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
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It reminds me of talking to my son. I ask him a question, and I get "I dunno" and because he knows it gets my goat.
BS: 37 FWH: 37 EA: 2 months, ending June 08 Married 7 years 4 kids (2 together) Hoping for a Recovery
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I have taken Myers-Briggs - twice, and so has my DH. We are opposites. So what? I am all for insight into one's personality, but using that type of test as a "this is how I am....so deal with it" approach to marriage is, quite frankly, a cop out. Because of my personality I tend to be a bit flighty, disorganized, and messy, but DS is one of my H's top needs. So guess what? I learned. Due to his personality, DH is not overly affectionate, and affection is one of my needs. So guess what? He needs to learn.
I have found people who focus on "personality types" tend to be very opposed to any change or action that leads them out of their comfort zones, so their "personalities" become a cloak for relational stubbornness.
And for the record, until you drop the forum gymnastics and just SHARE your story in some detail, the vets here, who have excellent crap-detectors, are going to continue to call you out. So you can be secretive, or you can share. But I don't think you are really obtuse enough NOT to understand that people want to know more about your background.
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I seriously doubt this guy is a preacher, of the Word anyway. Having been a preacher's kid all my life and now married to one, I can say with almost certain knowledge, this kite won't fly.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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[ Lil, he also added this nugget below indicating that HE was also a WH with an OW. Might be a revenge affair situation just like the former annoying no-so-bright poster he so much reminds me of, Dude. What a coincidence they both have "Dude" in their names.  I agree with everyone that you really need to kill your H's A first. I know you said that the OWH is abusive, but let me tell you that my OW said the exact same thing! And the fact of that matter is that even if he is abusive, you did not make this choice. I know that sounds cold hearted, but she made the choice to betray her H, n I saw that Mr W, but it was actually a partial quote of a post made by someone with an X in their name (trixie?) cant remember sorry. If you go back a page from the orginal, you'll see it. My concern at that stage was it was someone posting anything to increase their post count, especially since of the earlier ones, most were just "I agree". Then there was a series of edits, then suddenly all very pro exposure.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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It reminds me of talking to my son. I ask him a question, and I get "I dunno" and because he knows it gets my goat. She's got a goat!!!!
Beat that dude.
Mr. Wp.s.- you all are gr8 defending MB like this. 3 or 4 years ago trolls would last for weeks/months around here disturbing the heck out of every thread with their crap. Mentally ill (or at least challenged) posters, unmarried posters, unbetrayed posters with agenda's other than marriage building were given carte blanche to say whatever they wanted and not get called on it. There were far less marraige builders back then and way more people that thought all opinions were equal and valid. In fact THIS THREAD would have had posters backlashing at how mean and judgemental we all are. It warms my heart to see all you people on your games and taking this place as serious as we usually take it. p.p.s. - I heard a rumor (don't know if it's true) that if you wanted to discover the secret to MaiMai's posts you need only write his poster name down on a piece of paper and hold it up to a mirror. If you haven't been here for a few years it won't make any sense to you so don't bother. Redrum...redrum.
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering) DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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[ Lil, he also added this nugget below indicating that HE was also a WH with an OW. Might be a revenge affair situation just like the former annoying no-so-bright poster he so much reminds me of, Dude. What a coincidence they both have "Dude" in their names.  I agree with everyone that you really need to kill your H's A first. I know you said that the OWH is abusive, but let me tell you that my OW said the exact same thing! And the fact of that matter is that even if he is abusive, you did not make this choice. I know that sounds cold hearted, but she made the choice to betray her H, n I saw that Mr W, but it was actually a partial quote of a post made by someone with an X in their name (trixie?) cant remember sorry. If you go back a page from the orginal, you'll see it. My concern at that stage was it was someone posting anything to increase their post count. You're right. He quoted txnatheart in full and added nothing new at all. mmmmm. Still think it's Dude or else he'd have pointed out that mistake pretty quick instead of just going with it. Mr. W
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering) DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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just a preacher man with insightful life experiences like many of you.
prd How wonderful. My DH (Flick) comes from a long line of preachers, some lay preachers, some ordained. I am just not that fortunate, so had to learn the bible myself  I have noticed that often during scripture study, I can actually read MB principles into the events. But I digress. What led you to His Needs Her Needs, which is part of the Marriage Builders program? How did you apply it to your M? Do you have any comments on the book? I admit, it is my favourite out of the series. Have you read the Basic Concepts from the top of the site? Just repeating this one because I have asked you several times and it seems to of have been overlooked.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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it seems to of have been overlooked. [[[snicker]]]
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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The sixth (of nine) paragraph gracing each page of this forum (emphasis added): Sometimes you may hear alternative opinions that conflict with Dr. Harley's Ten Basic Concepts. These are often raised by those who have not solved their own marital problems, but still feel they are qualified to advise others. When this happens you can expect some members to explain why their approach won't work, and why Marriage Builders� offers a better solution. There are many who are offended when that happens, but please keep in mind that the ultimate purpose of this Forum is to discuss and learn Marriage Builders� concepts.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assissi
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Fred, good to see you. I was just thinking that I hadn't seen you in a while and I was gonna pop over to the D forum to check up on you. Hope all is well. 
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Fred, good to see you. I was just thinking that I hadn't seen you in a while and I was gonna pop over to the D forum to check up on you. Hope all is well.  My story continues on that forum, Scotty. Thank for asking. [/tj]
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assissi
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what exactly did i do to bring on this firestorm? noticed someone was an entp? let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.
prd
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what exactly did i do to bring on this firestorm? Refused to answer polite and reasonable questions. PreacherDude, do you have a church?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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What IS an entp person? What does "entp" stand for?
Dude....people asked you for your story and if you had read the Basic Concepts. You avoid answering. Hence the firestorm. We all have shared our stories on here.
Me: BW, 27 Him: WH, 29 DD 4 DS 1 Married 07/25/09 A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner) D-Day: 3/31/10 2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010 3rd D-Day: 4/21/10
Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10 WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10 False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10
Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012
Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
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