Once you expose, you will feel like the KING OF THE MOUNTAIN instead of a powerless little shivering mouse. Standing up to this abuse will give you great confidence. The key will be to not let a wacked out, addicted wayward scare you. When you interfere with the addiction of a wayward, they go nuts and try to scare you into submission. YOU MUST RESIST AT ALL COST!

you can do this, Fantie!!

Ok I will give you my word that I will leave the room.

Markos,

Because it IS "threatening" and "dangerous" the AFFAIR......God forbid if anything or anyone does something to ruin "their only chance of happiness".....

especially the betrayed spouse. So the wayward will say ANYTHING to keep exposure from happening......including stupid remarks like "getting a restaining order"....

and honestly if he would do ANYTHING to protect his job then he SHOULD have done so by not whoring around the back alleys.......

Not

WH called and asked what I told the kids - told them that he was working late - he told me that he got a hotel room - I said ok - said good night to the kids - This gives me a chance to form my list and plan into the action - I am glad that he is getting his space but i am at home taking care of the kids.

so he is with the OW tonight?

fantie, since he is with the OW tonight, I would do all your exposures tonight and in the morning. Including calling the OW's BF and telling him. This way they infidels have something to face tomorrow when they return to work.

I agree with the exposure! Don't warn him, and do it all at once. When he gets mad, say you are saving your marriage. He can get another job, trust me. You can't save the M if they work together.

Fantie, when you get a chance, look at the thread MelodyLane started, "do not burst out laughing."

I hope some others will come along and post some links to fogbabble threads. It is so incredibly predictable. And nothing he says right now is true or right.


Right now, he is insane.

Oh what a day. Well that last time I spoke with him was last night at 6pm when he told me that he got a hotel room and said goodnight to the kids. I had been up for 32 hours - so last night I just crashed.

Today I woke up and said ok this is it - the sad part is that he didn't even call the kids this morning (like he usually does on a business trip) to say good morning to them. So sad esp. when he says he has the kids best interest - ha ha. I never heard from him all day until 6:34pm he called but didn't leave a message (the kids and I were out for dinner anyway) - Came home and I had the kids call him - he didn't answer so they just said good night as a message.

Besides all that it's been a busy day. I called his mom first thing this morning and told her that the affair was not over and that he has been lieing. I encouraged her to talk to him and come to his senses. Then I called the OW's Dad and he said he was not aware of it - and I encouraged him to tell his daughter to find another job. He said he was sorry and he would see what he could do. Then I called her mother and I just got ahold of the number and she said that she didn't know that OW - which I dont' belive because the ex-boyrfirend gave me the number so I dind't say anything as I am sure she was expecting the phone call since maybe the father informed them all.

Then it was onto his 2 employees - they did they suspected it but dint' have proof - they basically said that they had lost all respect for him as a boss - and that the OW (his secretary) was running the show there - I told them that they needed to confront him to make him aware and that it would make it uncomfortable - which I knew one guy would (because he has a big mouth) -

My parents and my sister already knew - now his parents know (the full story) - her dad knows and 2 of his employees know (I didn't call of them because I dont' know them and some just started) but I told the important 2

It was interesting because they told me that they already suspected it. ANd that he had been covering up for her (I guess she calls in sick alot and he doesn't report it and still pays her for the day - which they are really pissed about) They said they didn't even know him anymore - that he's a changed guy. And of course he's been lieing - the trips that he went on for work - he was with her - and the one guy that he's been telling me that he's been doing stuff with - said he hasn't done anything with him. OH ya they all agreed that the OW saw my WH

I totally agree with you all - I have no idea who he is. It is all starting to make sense. But knowing who he was I know he will leave and want a divorce.

So now what? I have no idea if he knows if the affair was exposed - where he is - he did remove his bank account (from a side job) so I can no longer see it.

WHat is my next step????

OH ya they all agreed that the OW saw my WH
as a meal ticket.

fantie, you did great!! I would call the boyfriend tonight and bring him up to speed. Your H and the OW probably spent the night together last night didn't they?

what about a facebook exposure tonight? Did you see my post about that?

I am concerned about your bank account, though. Has your H hidden your money?

How old is the OW?

Why do I need to bring the ex-boyfriend up to speed - he has been out of the picture since he found out and has told me that he has not spoke with her.

I dind't do any FB exposures because I called his best friend (well the wife b/c we are friends) from back home - he honestly doesn't have any friends here (besides his co-workers - and I told them and they have told me that they have not done anything with him since it became uncomfortable around the office)

SO tonight at 8:34pm he called and KABOOM!! He said what the f--k are you doing? I have the MC calling me (because I called her to tell her and faxed her all the e-mails that I had found and she wanted to see him - kind of just a back up plan and since we were just there on Thursday I exposured her to it too), and he said you called her parents and told her to find another job - he said what the F--K are you doing - are you crazy? I replied that I was trying to save my marriage - he said that is not how you do it - then someone on this site told me to offer him a potatoe chip and walk out of the room to laugh - but he told me he was sitting in a F--king hotel room so I just told him when he calmed down to call me - said I love you and hung up. Then I was laughing so hard just like you all told me I would.

The guys at his work plan on confronting him tomorrow - so that will be another KABOOM!! Someone said I would feel like the King of the Mountain and I do!

The OW is his age (both 35 and have birthday either a week apart) and I am 4 years older than my WH - 39 going to be 40 n Sept.

What now????

Get some sleep. if you have exposed to everyone then there really isnt much you can do atm.

He is going to be REALLY pissed for a while. Maybe a few days. maybe 2 weeks. it varies.

Make sure you have a copy of your evidence in a safe place outside the home. If he tries to take ALL the money go to a lawyer immediatly. Especially if you are a stay at home mom. He might try to starve you into submission.

If he does come home just cook him a nice meal and let him play with the kids. Chit chat about whatever your kids do.
Just keep it simple at first. If he refers to the OM refer to her as an ADULTERESS and their friendship as and Adulterous relationship.

If he has the nads to call her in front of you dont let him.

She most likely wont leave the work you know. No reason for her too. As long as she is there working for him she is going to be an issue. Just being honest with you. If he owns the company nothing you can do. Sucks though I know.

YEEHAW!!! Great job all around. You are a dang pro at this, Fantie! And bravo to you for not bursting out laughing!!

I had thought the boyfriend was still dating her, but I guess not?

Ok, now move onto the OW's facebook page! Do you have the letter I posted?

Fantie, another thing you can do is visit the workplace tomorrow and say HELLO to the OW. The more you go up there, the more the rats will SQUIRM.

Fantie, Well done!

Once exposure is complete, Plan A your socks off. Plan A is where for a period of time you demonstrate just how fabulously you and you alone can meet your H's most important emotional needs.

There is a link to the Carrot and Stick of Plan A earlier on your thread. Study up.

And protect your finances. However it is you have to do so.

Does someone have a link to the reverse fogbabble thread handy? I think it would really help here.

The thread has been bumped for you.

Thanks everyone. Believe it or not but she is not on facebook. I have tried and tried to find her on there and on my WH's FB but she is just not on FB.

Got a good night sleep last night.

I have an idea - I also am a cake decorator - and I usually do all of the cakes for the employees at the office - and one of the guys at his office who has been very supportive and who we have had over several times for holidays (he is 50 and single - been divorced twice - both times his ex wifes cheated on him so he has been very supportive and really admired us/our family and our marriage well at one point and had been a good friend to my WH) said that he thought it was wierd that I didn't make him a cake for his b-day on 6/10 so maybe I will bake him a cake and bring it up to the office and say sorry I missed your b-day here you go and then watch them squirm.

The guys at work even told me that she started parking her car in back of the office building. That's wierd.

I plan on going to the bank this morning and removing the money that my paycheck goes into for the kids - and putting it inot the bank account that I had opened up for myself at another bank.

Thanks again - feeling stronger every minute.